Jen07

Hello everyone,
I had posted a couple weeks about feeling guilty about filing for divorce. My husband immediately checked himself into rehab #5 once he realized I retained an attorney. He attempted to manipulate me and his therapist to come home. I didn't bite. I have continued with the divorce process. I have been attending Al Anon daily and I told his family that I filed.

Today, I got word from my sister in law that he's getting out of rehab. He is not welcome in our home since the police had to remove him the last time he was here on 4/21. I could have pressed charges for criminal mischief(in a drunken rage he ripped out our outdoor security cameras and lights). I declined to have him arrested .I told the police that I just wanted him removed. They put him in a hotel that night . He went to rehab the next day. Now , I'm on pins and needles learning that he is getting out of rehab. I had the locks changed and the security system replaced. I also told his family he was not welcome here. I said I would be happy to bring his belongings to a neutral location. Is there anything else that I should be doing? I do not want to see him. I know he will be drinking again the moment he has access.

dandylion

Jen.....I think that the best source of information on this type of situation would be the workers at the local domestic violence organization. They know the best ways of safety planning----as they deal with this kind of situation, every day.
.I hope that you are not freaked out by the term "domestic violence". You don't have to be hit to talk to them and receive advice or services. It is completely confidential and anonymous. You can talk by phone. You will find the workers to be very compassionate and understanding. They are eager to help you in any way that you need.
I suggest that you contact your lawyer and inform of the events that have transpired. I assume that you are still legally married, and there may be some legal issues for you to be aware of.

zla997

Hi Jen - I agree that I am no expert in this situation and there are people who are. However... I do think you are wise to choose a neutral location and keep your home a peaceful place for you as best you can. This is just a personal recommendation - but can you bring someone with you? For 1) safety if he's belligerent 2) accountability if he tries to manipulate or "sweet talk" the situation 3) a third-party to hear what is said between you in case it gets twisted later 4) someone to help keep it brief and transactional.

Sending you big hugs - keep us posted.

RunningScared

Another option for his belongings is to have law enforcement there while he removes them. They are used to this.

Jen07

Thanks guys!

My mom and brother came over and took all of his belongings out of the house . They are now at my mom's. I notified the rehab and his family that he can collect his belongings at my mom's house. I'm going to update my lawyer in the morning. It was quite emotional but I know it's the right thing. This too shall pass 🤞