Floating

I am looking for advice on how to handle this situation. I grew quite close to my future mother in law, but then my ex chose to leave me weeks before we were supposed to be married. And went back to drinking and cut me out completely.

It was hard to handle but I am working on disconnecting and moving along with life. But everyday my soon to had been mil is messaging. She is sweet and kind and going thru her own issues with aging husband health wise. I love her but hearing from her stirs up still raw memories.

I know she saw me as her son's savior and wants nothing more than for us to be back together. But the more I move on the more distant it all seems.

She is elderly and I don't want to hurt her anymore than he has already done. But the constant contact is hard. What would you do?

Thank you.

SparkleKitty

Right now it's really important that you prioritize your own self-care. That doesn't preclude having a relationship with her in the future, but it's okay if right now it brings you unnecessary pain.

If it were me, I would let her know how much I care for her but that I needed time and space from contact with ex's family, and then I would block her number and let go of trying to control the outcome. Other people's response to me taking care of myself and upholding my boundaries are not any of my business, nor are they my responsibility.

If she truly cares for you as an individual, and not just as a potential savior for her son, she will understand.