Amaranth

Going back to your original question
"When faced with a life altering choice, what goes through the mind of an alcoholic?"

I imagine it would be "I need a drink"

Not all alcoholics are the same but in the case of my AH he drinks so he doesn't have to think about those life altering choices. He certainly doesn't want to think about the consequences of his choices. It's too painful. The next thing going through his head is "I need another drink" and after that "I want some drugs" and then he doesn't think about anything which is the whole point of getting off his head.

Howdy1234

I have to applaud the metaphor regarding the urge to drink and the ice cold water. I am literally wanting that drink myself! It certainly provides a little understanding/incite in to how uncontrollable the need becomes.
I only hope with understanding I can make better choices for my family.

velma929

I'm sure you didn't mean for this to be funny, but it could be a line from the TV show "Mom."

spider100

Hello I have completed 22 round of sun and during alcoholic I am in unconscious state.

sevenofnine

I also see some self-harm elements in my xah's sober choices to use, or be around triggering people and situations. Its like giving up before you try as a way to avoid "failure."
I think there was lots of fooling himself too, and that ice cold glass of water. But at least for him, I see elements of intentional self sabotage and self harm which stem from a a fear that he isn't good enough and will ultimately fail anyway.
Obviously it is a terrible strategy to f**k up everything as a way to avoid failing at a specific thing that is causing stress today. But from an emotional standpoint, it feels "logical" if you tell yourself that failure is inevitable.

BlondTheory

I think they often decide to take that next drink because it *isn't* necessarily guaranteed impending doom on the other side. Often, someone swoops in to save (enable) them. Or circumstances come together to keep them from facing any negative consequences ... this time. To us codependents, I think it often seems like a constant downward spiral, but in many ways alcoholism seems more like gambling. And maybe that's the thrill. Of course there are, in later stages, the horrible physical and mental repercussions -- the withdrawals, the hallucinations, the DTs. But just in terms of the life consequences, those don't always happen.

Cunning and baffling indeed.

velma929

My husband died of lung cancer. But I'll bet at the end of his life he was still able to tell himself that alcohol wasn't a problem. He didn't have a job but he wasn't really looking for one, anyway. He could tell himself if he really wanted one, he could find one. He was still collecting unemployment, I think. When he needed more beer money than that, he could (and at times did) withdraw money from his retirement account, so it would be a few years before that ran dry.

With no job to go to, he didn't have to shower and appear sober anywhere. His only driving was going our for beer and cigarettes, first thing in the morning.