Debbie

****************{Ann}}}}}}}

I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Many hugs to you.
Love,
Debbie

JT

Anns,

The helmit is on the way...wear it proudly! Nevermind the dents...they are the scars of a battle that was won!

You will win this one, too! The mental image, alone, of me shuffling behind my walker into detox/jail to see the Beav helps me to remember that today is all I have and I need to make the most of it!

It IS his choice, his problem and his to solve or not. HIS life. Love the addict...hate the disease. Do what you can and turn over the rest. That is the way I stay sane.

((((HUGS))))
Paula

Paulie

Ann -

I just have to say something. I always feel kinda of like an intruder on this board, but here i am anyway.

I am so proud of you. Yes, you got a little scared for a second, but you knew what to do and I know you would have done it if he had asked.

As you know I am an addict and the line that someone said to you, love the addict, hate the disease. that says it all!!!

The best thing that my mother ever did for me was say "NO". today I am blessed by God to be sober and I know that. At the time I didn't but that was my disease it was not me.

I just wanted to give you a ((((((((((ann)))))))))))).

I hope you have a great day. I hope the sun in shining and the birds are singing (and someone cleans up the garbage lololo).

Josie

Ann,
Thinking of you, I wish I had your
strength. Hope you have a relaxing
weekend, and do something great for
yourself. I remember what J.T. said
the other day, this is "temporary."

Hugs,

Ann

Thanks Everyone for all your support.

I am actually laughing at JT's picture of us taking the walkers to jail.

And Pauline - you are always always always welcome here. You are a terrific lady and your mother is a lucky gal.

I just got home from work and I had a really good day. I was busy doing things I love to do with people who are wonderful to work with. I just know there would be lots of beauty out there if I just wiped my eyes and looked.

And my brother called to invite me for a barbeque at his place on Sunday. My niece is home after a year of touring the orient, and my nephew and other niece will be there too. I love them all so much. My brother knows the history, but none of the fine tuning. He is a really square nerd-type criminal lawyer who would never "get it" in a million years. And he would hate to see his little sister in pain, so I will just share the joy of the day and leave my problems at home.

I still haven't heard from my son, and I am okay with that. He knows who to call, where to go, and what to do, and I really have to leave the rest with God. I pray and try to let it go, and so far I am feeling almost, but not quite, normal.

You all being here for me in my crisis means so very much to me, and "thank you" seems so inadequate, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Love you all.

JT

Anns,

I have a busy day today, but I wanted to catch you this morn.

I am so glad that you are feeling better. I am with you, and I know you know it.

We both have this huge question mark hanging out there and we cannot help but wonder. But it could be far worse than merely wondering.

It will take more than a day to kick your butt back into recovery mode (thank goodness we can still kick that high). That is what we are all hear for and that she-devil sponser.

Did you go to the concert?

Your son has alot of information...alot of program. That tends to take the fun out of his using. He is no longer in denial either (his HP move it on him, too) so wherever he is and whatever he is doing he is filled with regret. How sad. The addiction was stronger than he was and it may always be.

The blessing is that he had, what, 90 days of sobriety this time, so he got a glimpse of what life can be without the drugs.

I quit smoking for three years one time and went back. I look at those years knowing I had it licked, wishing I was back there, but it doesn't make it any easier to quit again.

Love and Hugs,
Paula

Ann

Hi JT

I'm going to the concert this afternoon for a while. It's really crazy downtown. There is a huge car race thing happening called "The Molson Indy" and traffic is a mess because so many major streets are closed for this.

I'm also going to by brother's for a barbeque tomorrow and am looking forward to seeing him and my nieces and nephew. The kids are all adults now (I am the matriarch of this side of the family since my brother is a single dad...his wife left him after 25 years and 4 children, for another "woman" and nope that's not a typo). He has a terrific lady friend who I really like and have fun with.

Haven''t heard from my son...my guess is that he will be done soon as he must be out of money by now. And won't he be a sorry mess, but he knows what he has to do. I have tried not to worry about not hearing from him (that is unusual for him not to call and at least say he's alive). I stay away from "second guessing" as I cannot do anything about it anyway and will deal with what happens as it happens. One day at a time. But I am keeping my recovery survival gear on and feel better when I stay busy.

How was your cruise on the "Duck"? I laughed several times thinking of you last night. Hope you had a wonderful time.

Morning Glory

Ann,

Just want you to know I'm still thinking of you. I know it's hard work for you to keep your life balanced when you are worried about your son.

Keep up the good work and we're all in your corner.


Hugs,

MG

Ann

Thanks MG

I haven't hear from my son yet, which is unusual as he always calls, especially when he knows that I already know he relapsed. But I am not doing the "call the hospitals" "call the jails" routine...I am just not up to it emotionally.

My guess is that he must be pretty well finished by now, he will be out of money and probably out of energy. Which will now leave him broke and homeless. He knows where help is, he knows who to call, and he knows the drill...so I am leaving it up to him and God. And I pray a lot.

Meanwhile, I am practicing what I preach...I am keeping busy and while acknowledging the pain, I am doing healthy things for me.

This afternoon, I am going to a barbeque at my brother's, and look forward to seeing him and my nieces and nephew. I will leave my problems at home. However, I am taking 4 bags of garbage LOL with me, as he lives north or Toronto out of the "garbage strike" zone.

Thank you all for your support, and for your prayers. My son and I both need them right now.

Love you all!!!!

JT

Ann,

You are doing exactly what I would be doing...stay busy...not making the phone calls. You know if something bad happened you would get a call. Maybe he hooked up wih someone who isn't broke. A new "friend".

Tomorrow is a work day which fill your time and if sleep is difficult, you know there are things you can take for that. You need your rest.

He knows where you are an he very well might be ashamed to face you...he knows he hs dissappointed you again.

Take care..you are in my thoughts.

Ann

Well - he called. He said he didn't want to talk, the phone number was blocked, but he just wanted to tell me he was alive.

He wouldn't say where he was - like you said he may have found a "friend" with money still - and said he would call sometime this week. He sounded angry (not at me but just his attitude) and my guess is that he is angry at himself, and is beginning to see where this has taken him.

Anyway, I do feel better that he called and that he is alive and I know the rest of this journey is up to him. I will pray twice - once to say "thank you" and once to say"he's all yours Lord, look after him please"

Right now, I feel like my crisis is over, and I will stay focused on looking after myself. I can't live in his disease, so I will live in my recovery.

You people have all been such sweet friends and have made a huge difference in how I have felt through all this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Morning Glory

I'm glad he called Ann,

I hope you can rest a little easier now.


Hugs,

MG

Paulie

Ann -

God answered one prayer (of many I am sure) and he called and you know he is okay. I will pray with you for thanks to God and I will pray for God to watch over him and to guide him when he is ready for help. And I will continue to pray for you and your serenity.

Enjoy your day!!!

JT

I am so glad for you...now breath...in and out...

Ok now...we can have some fun...everything is fairly calm for the mom's...everyone ok out there?? Josie?? Mo?? Mg?? Any other Mom that I am forgetting??

Calm of course means we know they are alive...we expect so little...

Love ya!

Ann

He called AGAIN - that is two days in a row and that is a good thing.

He kept his job (helping a landscaper do fences, interlocking brick and decks) and he got a room not too far...yet far enough...from where I live (about 1/4 mile away).

So another prayer has been answered. He is not homeless, my guess is the room isn't too great but it will do just fine. And he can still feed himself, and he hasn't asked for money, or cigarettes, or to come live at home. And the fact that he IS calling tells me he will be back on the wagon soon...or maybe not, but it is between him and God.

I feel soooo relieved, and grateful I didn't waste more energy second guessing. This is such a big step for him...to know how to look after himself even when he is using. And I am certain he is not having any fun with it. Maybe this time he will try it differently, or maybe not.

Yup, JT, we require very little, just "alive" is a good start.

And Pauline, and everyone, thank you for your prayers. I truly believe in the power of prayer and that God does listen.

Love you all (have I said that yet today?)

Paulie

Ann -

Prayer does work (just ask my mom). You are doing great!! And you are right, I can guarantee you, he isn't having any fun, and that is a good thing.

Take care -

Morning Glory

Alive is a good thing.

Hugs,
Hugs,
Hugs,


MG

Morning Glory

Has anyone seen Washbe?

I'm afraid she got lost when we moved to the new board. I saw a washbe2 at the top, but I'm not sure if that was her.

I think stressedoutmom may have gotten lost too. I saw her over on the old board.

I think I saw E'smom on this board.


Check in if you're lurking.


MG

Ann

I've been missing them too. Especially Washbe who was a "mom"supporter of mine when I first came to these boards.

Hope they come back.

Kitty

I am so glad you have heard from your son and that he is safe. I will say an extra little prayer for him.
Love, Kitty