lee42lee

My wife is an alcoholic with liver disease. She will go a month or two sober then start drinking again. This last year she has been pretty much bedridden and in and out of the hospital every month or so from complications from the cirrhosis. The last month she has felt better than she has in over a year but started drinking again. She has agreed and wants to do an impatient program to get help. The only place we can find that will take her without a huge amount up front is American Addiction Centers. I have read some reviews and I am a little worried. I have read where they have been mislead about insurance verification and when they got there had to pay or was sent home because insurance wouldn't cover it even though they were told it would. She booked a flight for later today and is dead set to go. Im glad she is wanting help but I don't feel we have done enough research. If she gets there and has the same experience as I've read we don't have the money right now for another ticket. Can someone please give me advice or share your experience with this company?

Bekindalways

Welcome to SR Lee. I don't know anything about addiction centers but I hope someone else will chime in here. You might post this in the Newcomers to Recovery forum.

I hope you are seeking help for yourself through Alanon or just educating yourself about being in a relationship with an addict. It is tough stuff.

Seren

Hello Lee, and Welcome!

I'm afraid I don't know anything about that particular center at all. It is best to do your homework, and ask very specific questions of the intake people at the center. As an aside, I have read that the Salvation Army offers an excellent rehab program--and it's free.

Now....what are you doing for *you* through all of this? You matter, too!

S

lee42lee

I have never been to an Alanon meeting but I have read a ton online. You are right it is tuff. I am a sales director over three automobile dealerships and my work schedule is crazy. For last year I have left for work at 8:00 then get home anywhere from 8 to 10 pm then cook dinner for our two boys, do laundry watch a few minutes of TV with my wife then get ready to do it all again.

My wife has been to the ER at least once every month since May 2019 and most of the time she was admitted. She has had 2 stays of over two weeks, 2 over a week and i cant remember how many stays of a few days. The last month and a half has been completely different. She has been out of bed, driving, shopping, cleaning, cooking and actually happy. Now I catch her drinking again and it makes me so angry. I feel horrible because instead of supporting her I feel bitter because of all we have been through to finally see some light only to have her do the same thing that caused it. I never thought I would be in this position.

biminiblue

I'm not defending your wife's alcohol use - but...do you think you are giving your family what it needs if you are working 12-14 hour days?

I would feel pretty abandoned if I were your wife and boys and I wouldn't think it can be good for you in general.

Coldfusion

I have some experience with a wife who picks the first rehab place she learns about. It was good that my wife did not go to her first choice, as there were some questions about its reputability and it was in another state. We found a highly-recommended place in-state instead.

lee42lee

Cold fusion I dont know what to do. She is set to get on a plane in three hours and fly alone to this place we know nlthing about. The place may be great but after reading reviews its scares the crap out of me.

Coldfusion

There are plenty of free resources to help your wife stay sober. There might be a free or low-cost detox program sponsored by your local government, and there are support networks like SoberRecovery and AA. I hope she is truly committed to recovery, and takes best advantage of her current situation.

Seren

Hello lee,

Did your wife make it to the rehab center? How are you doing?

lee42lee

She made it down yesterday and seems to be doing OK. She can still use her phone until her Covid test comes back then she starts the program.

As for myself, I am doing ok. It was very hard to watch her go at the airport. She has been sick and I've taken care of her for the last year and its nerve racking not to know what's going on. I can honestly say I never would have thought I would be dealing with a spouse with addiction problems and it is the hardest thing i have ever done.

Bekindalways

Yes, for most of us here dealing with our addicted family member or spouse was probably the hardest thing we've ever done. It is beyond excruciating.

Please do whatever you can to take care of yourself even if it is just being sure you eat a few veggies and stay hydrated at this time.

Let us know how you get on.

Lines

I hope things work out. At least she was motivated to get help. Never heard of that place. It's unfortunate that she didnt look deeper into what theirtreatment consists of, aside from the cost. A lot of places are basically cookie cutter in what they offer clients. All I can say is, if this one doesn't end up helping her then look for something different next time. I went to treatment after a binge with cocaine. I kept my phone and a laptop. There were only certain hours of the day when I had therapy sessions, educational classes, yoga classes. I felt crummy when I first got there and slept a lot, but when I started feeling better then I had a lot more interaction with my family. You might want to check and see if they will include you in some therapy sessions (joint or alone) if they will, skype works well.

trailmix

Hi lee. What do you do to support yourself? I hope you are taking care of yourself (all those good general things, eating well, getting sleep etc). I'm going to guess that a lot of your pastimes and interests have gone by the wayside as you tackle all of this.

I would like to suggest a book to you, that is often recommended here, Codependent no More by Melody Beattie. It has a lot of good information about boundaries and relationships etc. I'm not saying you are codependent (which is an overused word and has negative connotations attached to it) just that you might get a lot out of the information regardless.

It's so important to focus on yourself here, your life, what you need in it and how you can generate your own happiness and contentment. I know you are probably devastated right now but relief will come with shifting your focus.