TryingToLearn

I think one thing I've realized is alcohol has destroyed my AH's ability to form plans and stick to them. He will say one thing in the morning and make plans to do that and by the evening it's all changed. He picks up projects around the house, gets the house torn apart and then loses interest and walks away. I used to get so caught up in thinking he knew what he wanted but I'm starting to realize he can't changes his mind constantly. I've learned how to detach but every once in a while I get caught up in it. Is it just my AH or does anyone else experience this with their partner?

dandylion

TryingToLearn-----is this a recent thing for your husband, or has this always been a feature of his personality, or perhaps, another underlying condition that h may suffer from?

TryingToLearn

Dandylion, it's definitely gotten worse with age. He's always started things and left them undone but the changing his mind from one hour to the next is new.

dandylion

tryingToLearn------alcoholism certainly does affect the short-term memory of all alcoholics, especially as the condition grows worse. Alcoholics of any age can have "blackouts"---where they can remember little or nothing that happened when intoxicated---even though they appeared pretty normal at the time.
The not finishing projects can be a symptom of unrecognized or undiagnosed adhd (adult attention deficit disorder) which is not uncommon in lots of people----alcoholic or not. You can google and find out lots about it.
There are other conditions, also----but, of course. alcoholism worsens all of them. LOL----in fact, I scratch my head to think of anything that alcoholism makes better.

Alcoholics that I have known, that were even in long-term recovery---like years of sobriety---say that there are whole years of their life where they can remember very little---as the short-term working memory never had a chance to be transferred to long term memory.

TryingToLearn

Thank you so much Dandylion. The information you provided is very helpful to me to understand this. Appreciated.

velma929

Late husband did that. Start a project, lose interest / mojo / and abandon it. If I cleaned up the work space and put everything away he'd start working again. We diagnose a lot more stuff these days than when Late was a child back in the 1950s. He actually did at one point have some psychological evaluation and yes, there was *something like* ADHD in the mix. Dandylion hit the nail on the head by writing that alcoholism only makes it worse.

TryingToLearn

Thank you so much for answering. I had never thought about undiagnosed ADHD until Dandylion mentioned it yesterday. Really helpful to have both of your insights. I'm looking at things in a new way now.