I feel hurt and stupid to not see this coming
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 51
I feel hurt and stupid to not see this coming
Hi all i am new here and just need to speak to people who have dealt with this.
I recently split from my partner of 3 years the first year was amazing yes he would drink but not a lot, as time went on he started drinking a little more he was always bubbly funny and caring more so when he had a drink infact !!
As more time went on he started drinking 2 bottles of red wine he use to say he drank every other night, he was never at mine every night so i cant really answer that one but Friday's saturdays he would drink always and every time he came to mine a few times a week Sundays he didnt drink still dont know why that was.
If we drank together i would only have 1 bottle of Rosa of a weekend and very rare i would drink tbf but if there was ever any drink left after he'd finish his bottles he would finish the rest of my bottle, so there was never alcohol left in fridge.
God getting him to bed was like sometimes getting a child to bed always trying to get him upstairs and he'd be like oh lets have another cigarette or he would get into bed lay down oh lets have one more drink babe, i always had work in the morning as he did !!! and after a while the 1am 2 am late nights where just draining me.
It got to a stage where i was not looking forward to him coming round because if he wasn't drinking he was very quite loving but horribly quiet like moody, i always felt like something was wrong which then started to make me anxious.
when he was drinking he was yes funny and loving and full of life (ok alcohol induced ) but i always knew it was going to be a late late night there was never ever any early night when he had a drink.
He was never ever nasty or rude to me more like a big bundle of love he would rant about work things sometimes when he had been drinking but i always had a way of calming him down just by talking to him we never had arguments.
As time went on i did mention that maybe he should slow down on the drinking his response was always chill babe not doing any harm just chilling out.
After 2 years i started to feel drained and felt like family parties, meals any event with alcohol etc i wouldn't look forward to because he would drink the party boy comes out and i noticed then he would not actually stop drinking he would go on and on until i would drag him home and to bed which always took forever !! and yes he fell over on a few occasions.
So as much as it hurt i walked away not because i didn't love him i did and do still ..........my life just didnt feel normal, i just wanted him to be like hey babe lets got for dinner ill not drink for a change so you can have a drink for that never ever happened. the snoring after he had passed out in bed through being drunk, the nights out with his mates where i would sit and worry cos i knew he would get absolutely smashed. it wasnt what i wanted for me i had to walk away and it hurt so much.
After a few months i was out and saw him and we spoke and decided to meet all the feelings where still raw and i felt confused i went to his place. he had his normal 2 bottles of red wine in the fridge ! and he had bought me a bottle of wine we sat and we spoke and he said he loves me and will always love me but can change and wont change,he is him and people have to accept that (i knew i couldn't anymore) sitting there watching him drinking his 2 bottles of red wine and then he drank 2 cans of Beer and then half of my bottle of Rosa on a Thursday night ! when he has work the next day !! now i sit here thinking wow just wow
I know i shouldn't have but i did stay the night maybe because when i was sitting there watching him it was all clicking into place for me (yes i know i should have ran away)
But i knew he loved a drink but when i went out into his summer house and stood there with tears running down my face because in front of me was about 23 EMPTY red wine bottles all the same brand when i asked him what the hell, he laughed said babe calm down there just empties i havent drank them all at once just havent had time to put them in the bins who does that that's madness !!!!!
This man i loved who showed me so much love he was always loving my heart just broke knowing that he really did have a drink problem so i suppose for me it was clarification ! i knew now it was final for me so sad to see someone you love with such a serious illness and so young his 36 and could have had an amazing life but he'd chosen his path it was clear i just feel so sad inside i cant get over the empty bottles i cant get my head round it i can the rest because it was always there in the back of my head now i just have to heal my heart because this really does hurt,
I recently split from my partner of 3 years the first year was amazing yes he would drink but not a lot, as time went on he started drinking a little more he was always bubbly funny and caring more so when he had a drink infact !!
As more time went on he started drinking 2 bottles of red wine he use to say he drank every other night, he was never at mine every night so i cant really answer that one but Friday's saturdays he would drink always and every time he came to mine a few times a week Sundays he didnt drink still dont know why that was.
If we drank together i would only have 1 bottle of Rosa of a weekend and very rare i would drink tbf but if there was ever any drink left after he'd finish his bottles he would finish the rest of my bottle, so there was never alcohol left in fridge.
God getting him to bed was like sometimes getting a child to bed always trying to get him upstairs and he'd be like oh lets have another cigarette or he would get into bed lay down oh lets have one more drink babe, i always had work in the morning as he did !!! and after a while the 1am 2 am late nights where just draining me.
It got to a stage where i was not looking forward to him coming round because if he wasn't drinking he was very quite loving but horribly quiet like moody, i always felt like something was wrong which then started to make me anxious.
when he was drinking he was yes funny and loving and full of life (ok alcohol induced ) but i always knew it was going to be a late late night there was never ever any early night when he had a drink.
He was never ever nasty or rude to me more like a big bundle of love he would rant about work things sometimes when he had been drinking but i always had a way of calming him down just by talking to him we never had arguments.
As time went on i did mention that maybe he should slow down on the drinking his response was always chill babe not doing any harm just chilling out.
After 2 years i started to feel drained and felt like family parties, meals any event with alcohol etc i wouldn't look forward to because he would drink the party boy comes out and i noticed then he would not actually stop drinking he would go on and on until i would drag him home and to bed which always took forever !! and yes he fell over on a few occasions.
So as much as it hurt i walked away not because i didn't love him i did and do still ..........my life just didnt feel normal, i just wanted him to be like hey babe lets got for dinner ill not drink for a change so you can have a drink for that never ever happened. the snoring after he had passed out in bed through being drunk, the nights out with his mates where i would sit and worry cos i knew he would get absolutely smashed. it wasnt what i wanted for me i had to walk away and it hurt so much.
After a few months i was out and saw him and we spoke and decided to meet all the feelings where still raw and i felt confused i went to his place. he had his normal 2 bottles of red wine in the fridge ! and he had bought me a bottle of wine we sat and we spoke and he said he loves me and will always love me but can change and wont change,he is him and people have to accept that (i knew i couldn't anymore) sitting there watching him drinking his 2 bottles of red wine and then he drank 2 cans of Beer and then half of my bottle of Rosa on a Thursday night ! when he has work the next day !! now i sit here thinking wow just wow
I know i shouldn't have but i did stay the night maybe because when i was sitting there watching him it was all clicking into place for me (yes i know i should have ran away)
But i knew he loved a drink but when i went out into his summer house and stood there with tears running down my face because in front of me was about 23 EMPTY red wine bottles all the same brand when i asked him what the hell, he laughed said babe calm down there just empties i havent drank them all at once just havent had time to put them in the bins who does that that's madness !!!!!
This man i loved who showed me so much love he was always loving my heart just broke knowing that he really did have a drink problem so i suppose for me it was clarification ! i knew now it was final for me so sad to see someone you love with such a serious illness and so young his 36 and could have had an amazing life but he'd chosen his path it was clear i just feel so sad inside i cant get over the empty bottles i cant get my head round it i can the rest because it was always there in the back of my head now i just have to heal my heart because this really does hurt,
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 216
I can relate so much, as I have considered my Xfiancé to be the love of my life! But sadly, I also clarified for myself (over time) how ill he was actually, and so I knew at one point I had to leave the situation unless he commits to 100percent healing, as it became impossible for me and draining my energy and even affecting my physical health!
So, my heart goes out to you! Mine is also a brilliant funny smart handsome and beautiful man, but sadly with this huge issue that none of us can compete with.
I am slowly learning how sometimes higher love is to actually LET GO! And it gives me some ultimate peace to know that I didnt wish to be his enabler! I could have married him, but didnt see it as a right thing, NOR would I be able to live with myself with staying in such situation. So perhaps you can see it in this way too. Your love for him will always stay! And perhaps, serve as an inspiration/ground for his ultimate healing.
I wish you fast recovery! And do check out some of my posts too if ure interested.
Hugs
So, my heart goes out to you! Mine is also a brilliant funny smart handsome and beautiful man, but sadly with this huge issue that none of us can compete with.
I am slowly learning how sometimes higher love is to actually LET GO! And it gives me some ultimate peace to know that I didnt wish to be his enabler! I could have married him, but didnt see it as a right thing, NOR would I be able to live with myself with staying in such situation. So perhaps you can see it in this way too. Your love for him will always stay! And perhaps, serve as an inspiration/ground for his ultimate healing.
I wish you fast recovery! And do check out some of my posts too if ure interested.
Hugs
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
BlueEyes…...We all know what that kind of pain is.
Thankfully, you have enough self esteem that you were able to end it.....
The pain that you feel now will come to an end....but, hitching your wagon to his star would bring more pain than you can even imagine.....
Thankfully, you have enough self esteem that you were able to end it.....
The pain that you feel now will come to an end....but, hitching your wagon to his star would bring more pain than you can even imagine.....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 51
Thank you i found this site i suppose searching for answers and questions for things i already know, but now need to now except that he has an illness and after reading some of the posts on here i can see from a lot of experience that he will only get worse not better, and that i cant bare to stand and watch not for someone i would have spent the rest of my life with, my love for him will always remain in my heart but, with a heavy heart I cant be with this man my head knows that, my heart has to accept that now.
just sitting and thinking about all the drunken times the little things that are now piecing together like puzzle pieces, click click and i wish and hope that one day he will find the strength to fight this illness he has . thank you
just sitting and thinking about all the drunken times the little things that are now piecing together like puzzle pieces, click click and i wish and hope that one day he will find the strength to fight this illness he has . thank you
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,644
23 bottles, based on what you say he drinks, really isn't that much (sadly).
I too am glad that you had enough self-esteem to walk away from this. It's hard, no doubt about that but if you had stayed you could really just expect more of the same and worse.
Alcoholism is progressive and where he is now is not even where he will be or what he will be like a year from now. It would be great if you could help but you really can't, recovery has to come from them.
Remember you didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it (the 3 c's)
I'm really sorry you got hurt in all of this. Hope you will stick around and read the threads and the stickies at the top of the forum as well, you will find a lot of stories you can relate to I'm sure.
Hope you will also keep posting.
I too am glad that you had enough self-esteem to walk away from this. It's hard, no doubt about that but if you had stayed you could really just expect more of the same and worse.
Alcoholism is progressive and where he is now is not even where he will be or what he will be like a year from now. It would be great if you could help but you really can't, recovery has to come from them.
Remember you didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it (the 3 c's)
I'm really sorry you got hurt in all of this. Hope you will stick around and read the threads and the stickies at the top of the forum as well, you will find a lot of stories you can relate to I'm sure.
Hope you will also keep posting.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 51
Originally Posted by trailmix 
23 bottles, based on what you say he drinks, really isn't that much (sadly).
I too am glad that you had enough self-esteem to walk away from this. It's hard, no doubt about that but if you had stayed you could really just expect more of the same and worse.
Alcoholism is progressive and where he is now is not even where he will be or what he will be like a year from now. It would be great if you could help but you really can't, recovery has to come from them.
Remember you didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it (the 3 c's)
I'm really sorry you got hurt in all of this. Hope you will stick around and read the threads and the stickies at the top of the forum as well, you will find a lot of stories you can relate to I'm sure.
Hope you will also keep posting.
I too am glad that you had enough self-esteem to walk away from this. It's hard, no doubt about that but if you had stayed you could really just expect more of the same and worse.
Alcoholism is progressive and where he is now is not even where he will be or what he will be like a year from now. It would be great if you could help but you really can't, recovery has to come from them.
Remember you didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it (the 3 c's)
I'm really sorry you got hurt in all of this. Hope you will stick around and read the threads and the stickies at the top of the forum as well, you will find a lot of stories you can relate to I'm sure.
Hope you will also keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 63
I cried reading this, it was like the first time I had the courage to write on this page. You are not stupid, you took as much as you were able to. You still have self-steam and you are strong for walking out of this mess.
I wanted to believe every time my fiancé said he was sober, truth is that he never was. I use to clean the house and just a few days latter all the bottle off wine, beer can and vodka would show up again in my closet, inside my shoes, on top of bathroom cabinets etc, etc, etc.
Last time I tried to break up with him was because I wanted to walk with him to his car and help him carrying the groceries inside. I held his arm as we walked out and he told me I was embarrassing him and to just stay inside he would be right back. When I got to his car it was stocked with beer and wine. He apologized and made all the promises you are probably familiar with. Even said he would get professional help. Two days before his doctor appointment he broke up with me.
I am now dealing with the pain of everything that happen in that relationship and the pain of being left/rejected/abandoned. And just now I’m finding out I am a codependent and enabler. It’s killing me ... so I can just imagine what you are going through.
Al-anon has been saving me, also therapy if is an option for you. This group is amazing too.
Be strong and kind to you. For right now I hope sharing a little of my experience will comfort you in some way as I am also new to all this and leaning so much about my situation and myself.
I wanted to believe every time my fiancé said he was sober, truth is that he never was. I use to clean the house and just a few days latter all the bottle off wine, beer can and vodka would show up again in my closet, inside my shoes, on top of bathroom cabinets etc, etc, etc.
Last time I tried to break up with him was because I wanted to walk with him to his car and help him carrying the groceries inside. I held his arm as we walked out and he told me I was embarrassing him and to just stay inside he would be right back. When I got to his car it was stocked with beer and wine. He apologized and made all the promises you are probably familiar with. Even said he would get professional help. Two days before his doctor appointment he broke up with me.
I am now dealing with the pain of everything that happen in that relationship and the pain of being left/rejected/abandoned. And just now I’m finding out I am a codependent and enabler. It’s killing me ... so I can just imagine what you are going through.
Al-anon has been saving me, also therapy if is an option for you. This group is amazing too.
Be strong and kind to you. For right now I hope sharing a little of my experience will comfort you in some way as I am also new to all this and leaning so much about my situation and myself.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Such a sad end to a relationship, but I'm glad you found the strength to walk away. Many people don't, have children and endure years of regret before they break the ties. You at least can leave cleanly as you're not married, don't have children and even live apart.
I know it hurts, but you still seem very firm that you made the right decision. The pain will fade, and you'll have a good future. It's very sad about him though. I know he says that's just who he is, but it's not WHO he is, it's a condition that harms him and stops him realising his potential.
I know it hurts, but you still seem very firm that you made the right decision. The pain will fade, and you'll have a good future. It's very sad about him though. I know he says that's just who he is, but it's not WHO he is, it's a condition that harms him and stops him realising his potential.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 51
Originally Posted by Nara
I cried reading this, it was like the first time I had the courage to write on this page. You are not stupid, you took as much as you were able to. You still have self-steam and you are strong for walking out of this mess.
I wanted to believe every time my fiancé said he was sober, truth is that he never was. I use to clean the house and just a few days latter all the bottle off wine, beer can and vodka would show up again in my closet, inside my shoes, on top of bathroom cabinets etc, etc, etc.
Last time I tried to break up with him was because I wanted to walk with him to his car and help him carrying the groceries inside. I held his arm as we walked out and he told me I was embarrassing him and to just stay inside he would be right back. When I got to his car it was stocked with beer and wine. He apologized and made all the promises you are probably familiar with. Even said he would get professional help. Two days before his doctor appointment he broke up with me.
I am now dealing with the pain of everything that happen in that relationship and the pain of being left/rejected/abandoned. And just now I’m finding out I am a codependent and enabler. It’s killing me ... so I can just imagine what you are going through.
Al-anon has been saving me, also therapy if is an option for you. This group is amazing too.
Be strong and kind to you. For right now I hope sharing a little of my experience will comfort you in some way as I am also new to all this and leaning so much about my situation and myself.
I wanted to believe every time my fiancé said he was sober, truth is that he never was. I use to clean the house and just a few days latter all the bottle off wine, beer can and vodka would show up again in my closet, inside my shoes, on top of bathroom cabinets etc, etc, etc.
Last time I tried to break up with him was because I wanted to walk with him to his car and help him carrying the groceries inside. I held his arm as we walked out and he told me I was embarrassing him and to just stay inside he would be right back. When I got to his car it was stocked with beer and wine. He apologized and made all the promises you are probably familiar with. Even said he would get professional help. Two days before his doctor appointment he broke up with me.
I am now dealing with the pain of everything that happen in that relationship and the pain of being left/rejected/abandoned. And just now I’m finding out I am a codependent and enabler. It’s killing me ... so I can just imagine what you are going through.
Al-anon has been saving me, also therapy if is an option for you. This group is amazing too.
Be strong and kind to you. For right now I hope sharing a little of my experience will comfort you in some way as I am also new to all this and leaning so much about my situation and myself.
he never drank vodka neither did i ever find any bottles hidden just saw all those empty wine bottles when i went to see him.
i have spoke to his family who are sad me and him have finished and have said i made him a better person when i was with him and confirmed that he had always been a drinker but like me didnt realise how much as he probably hides it well from them.
he will have his son this weekend and i know he would be drinking last night i know this because i had a text message him sending me songs till early hours ( i was asleep so there was no response from me) he will go and watch the football today and take his son who is 10 with him and that will be day in the pub all day this is what he does. like his father did with him.
His son with will know this to be the norm with his dad and then when he gets older he will do the same and the patten will continue.
looking back now things that happen when he was at home i know now was because he was drinking , one morning i had a missed call from his son the voice mail just said she is asleep daddy, so i called back worried my ex answered and said oh its ok my son was scared of dark walking home and wanted to call you, at 12am in the morning ??? why was he outside and not in bed ?? oh we was walking home from his friends house after watching football which i knew to be true my ex was so drunk he fell over walking home, so his son called me this also breaks my heart now that i never knew then what i know now and that his son is caught up in this madness i have 2 older girls but my bond with his son was so good and now i have lost that as well. siting here even now thinking of all these things that happened and the penny's are dropping it truly is madness !!! i really didn't know the man i loved as much as i thought i did and how much he did drink when he was at home weekends with his son or on his own.
it scares me to think what his going to be like in another 5/10 years he has his own business and does get up and go but how long will that go on for.
as much as this hurts i have to move on and in time i will i know this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Virginia
Posts: 469
B1ueEyes,
I'm sorry your so sad. Its tough to see someone you care about destroy themselves with alcohol and the day it's not me but everybody else.
You were smart and strong too leave this relationship. I know their was lots of pain involved, but it was your best move. If he dosent want to get help and says he has no problem. Their is nothing you can do.
You are some what correct in that the hurt will fade. The memories will always be with you, but hopefully they will be overpowered but strong good memories of things to come in your life. You are a good caring person. Stay strong and you will get past this. Have a beautiful day.
I'm sorry your so sad. Its tough to see someone you care about destroy themselves with alcohol and the day it's not me but everybody else.
You were smart and strong too leave this relationship. I know their was lots of pain involved, but it was your best move. If he dosent want to get help and says he has no problem. Their is nothing you can do.
You are some what correct in that the hurt will fade. The memories will always be with you, but hopefully they will be overpowered but strong good memories of things to come in your life. You are a good caring person. Stay strong and you will get past this. Have a beautiful day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 51
Originally Posted by B1ueEyes
thank you for you words they mean alot, and hugs to you for going through what you are going through, my ex doesnt have a problem has not even said he will seek help, its everyone else that has the problem and has made his life difficult, all his relationships before me never lasted long not aslong as we did but that was never his fault they failed it was there's but now the fog has cleared i can see it was him and maybe they had the same issues as me he just said he cant deal with women that moan so he left them, probably them moaning about his drinking !
he never drank vodka neither did i ever find any bottles hidden just saw all those empty wine bottles when i went to see him.
i have spoke to his family who are sad me and him have finished and have said i made him a better person when i was with him and confirmed that he had always been a drinker but like me didnt realise how much as he probably hides it well from them.
he will have his son this weekend and i know he would be drinking last night i know this because i had a text message him sending me songs till early hours ( i was asleep so there was no response from me) he will go and watch the football today and take his son who is 10 with him and that will be day in the pub all day this is what he does. like his father did with him.
His son with will know this to be the norm with his dad and then when he gets older he will do the same and the patten will continue.
looking back now things that happen when he was at home i know now was because he was drinking , one morning i had a missed call from his son the voice mail just said she is asleep daddy, so i called back worried my ex answered and said oh its ok my son was scared of dark walking home and wanted to call you, at 12am in the morning ??? why was he outside and not in bed ?? oh we was walking home from his friends house after watching football which i knew to be true my ex was so drunk he fell over walking home, so his son called me this also breaks my heart now that i never knew then what i know now and that his son is caught up in this madness i have 2 older girls but my bond with his son was so good and now i have lost that as well. siting here even now thinking of all these things that happened and the penny's are dropping it truly is madness !!! i really didn't know the man i loved as much as i thought i did and how much he did drink when he was at home weekends with his son or on his own.
it scares me to think what his going to be like in another 5/10 years he has his own business and does get up and go but how long will that go on for.
as much as this hurts i have to move on and in time i will i know this.
he never drank vodka neither did i ever find any bottles hidden just saw all those empty wine bottles when i went to see him.
i have spoke to his family who are sad me and him have finished and have said i made him a better person when i was with him and confirmed that he had always been a drinker but like me didnt realise how much as he probably hides it well from them.
he will have his son this weekend and i know he would be drinking last night i know this because i had a text message him sending me songs till early hours ( i was asleep so there was no response from me) he will go and watch the football today and take his son who is 10 with him and that will be day in the pub all day this is what he does. like his father did with him.
His son with will know this to be the norm with his dad and then when he gets older he will do the same and the patten will continue.
looking back now things that happen when he was at home i know now was because he was drinking , one morning i had a missed call from his son the voice mail just said she is asleep daddy, so i called back worried my ex answered and said oh its ok my son was scared of dark walking home and wanted to call you, at 12am in the morning ??? why was he outside and not in bed ?? oh we was walking home from his friends house after watching football which i knew to be true my ex was so drunk he fell over walking home, so his son called me this also breaks my heart now that i never knew then what i know now and that his son is caught up in this madness i have 2 older girls but my bond with his son was so good and now i have lost that as well. siting here even now thinking of all these things that happened and the penny's are dropping it truly is madness !!! i really didn't know the man i loved as much as i thought i did and how much he did drink when he was at home weekends with his son or on his own.
it scares me to think what his going to be like in another 5/10 years he has his own business and does get up and go but how long will that go on for.
as much as this hurts i have to move on and in time i will i know this.
Originally Posted by ironwill
B1ueEyes,
I'm sorry your so sad. Its tough to see someone you care about destroy themselves with alcohol and the day it's not me but everybody else.
You were smart and strong too leave this relationship. I know their was lots of pain involved, but it was your best move. If he dosent want to get help and says he has no problem. Their is nothing you can do.
You are some what correct in that the hurt will fade. The memories will always be with you, but hopefully they will be overpowered but strong good memories of things to come in your life. You are a good caring person. Stay strong and you will get past this. Have a beautiful day.
I'm sorry your so sad. Its tough to see someone you care about destroy themselves with alcohol and the day it's not me but everybody else.
You were smart and strong too leave this relationship. I know their was lots of pain involved, but it was your best move. If he dosent want to get help and says he has no problem. Their is nothing you can do.
You are some what correct in that the hurt will fade. The memories will always be with you, but hopefully they will be overpowered but strong good memories of things to come in your life. You are a good caring person. Stay strong and you will get past this. Have a beautiful day.
we ordered breakfast I was ok at this point felt strong and positive about my decision. Until he ordered a cider !!! I mean it was 10 am in the morning !!!!! I have never ever seen him do that ever !!! I didn’t respond at all, we sat and spoke and had all the I love you so much but just need to be on my own for a while
( yeah to drink to your heart’s content) I know I will marry you one day ( no you won’t mr I ain’t that stupid) oh the stuff that came out of his mouth so I am ok just need to move forward and won’t be messaging in or meeting him again because his not the same man I first met, and I just need to ignore the words and be free of this man
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,644
Yes, he wants to be alone for now with his cider (for breakfast - to each his own I guess, sounds awful). This may be something he was missing when he was in a relationship!
You've made a good decision. Are you feeling a bit better day to day now?
You've made a good decision. Are you feeling a bit better day to day now?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Virginia
Posts: 469
B1ueeyes,
When I read he was having a cider at 10am. I knew his days were numbered with you. Like everyone says here he was just quacking up a storm. You seam to have it all under control. Keep coming back here for support. Keep being strong and have a great day.
When I read he was having a cider at 10am. I knew his days were numbered with you. Like everyone says here he was just quacking up a storm. You seam to have it all under control. Keep coming back here for support. Keep being strong and have a great day.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Blueeyes
Sometimes to us our loved ones seem so bad and it is hard for us to understand that they have not reached their own limit. One time I asked a recovery friend why won't they see the light and she said because they are still on Mt Everest even if to us it looks like the gutter.
I can see that "still on Mt Everest look" from 40 paces now. Learning that put me in a much better spot with the A's in my life for sure. Be gentle with yourself.
Sometimes to us our loved ones seem so bad and it is hard for us to understand that they have not reached their own limit. One time I asked a recovery friend why won't they see the light and she said because they are still on Mt Everest even if to us it looks like the gutter.
I can see that "still on Mt Everest look" from 40 paces now. Learning that put me in a much better spot with the A's in my life for sure. Be gentle with yourself.
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Originally Posted by trailmix
Yes, he wants to be alone for now with his cider (for breakfast - to each his own I guess, sounds awful). This may be something he was missing when he was in a relationship!
You've made a good decision. Are you feeling a bit better day to day now?
You've made a good decision. Are you feeling a bit better day to day now?
i am ok good days where I am grateful for my escape and other days wanting answers to questions why why why but as I think I am learning from this site, you can never work then out its there life to ruin
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Originally Posted by splendra
Blueeyes
Sometimes to us our loved ones seem so bad and it is hard for us to understand that they have not reached their own limit. One time I asked a recovery friend why won't they see the light and she said because they are still on Mt Everest even if to us it looks like the gutter.
I can see that "still on Mt Everest look" from 40 paces now. Learning that put me in a much better spot with the A's in my life for sure. Be gentle with yourself.
Sometimes to us our loved ones seem so bad and it is hard for us to understand that they have not reached their own limit. One time I asked a recovery friend why won't they see the light and she said because they are still on Mt Everest even if to us it looks like the gutter.
I can see that "still on Mt Everest look" from 40 paces now. Learning that put me in a much better spot with the A's in my life for sure. Be gentle with yourself.
mu ex even sat there saying anyone woman I meet she has to except me for who I am my mates my football she don’t like it she’s gone !!!
can’t be doing with anyone trying to change me I say that there and smiled inside thinking wow I truly feel sorry for any woman that comes you way she’s on for one hell of a ride this man should come with a warning sign stay clear !!!
his not the man I first met maybe he is and he just hid it well but i don’t want a man that sits in a cafe and order breakfast and a cider !!! To me that’s not normal and o found it quiet embarrassing if I’m honest.
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Ugh, what a great partner.
Just accept every single thing about me and don't complain - sounds like people will be lining up lol
Also, aside from the cider for breakfast, why on earth was he even talking about his next relationship (good luck finding anyone who will put up with that for any length of time). That's not for discussion with your ex-girlfriend.
I hope your next relationship (which will come along in time) is with some marvelous man who treats you with respect and kindness.
Yes, it's impossible not to get caught up in it in some way. The tornado that is alcoholism touches everyone that comes in to contact with the alcoholic.
Just accept every single thing about me and don't complain - sounds like people will be lining up lol
Also, aside from the cider for breakfast, why on earth was he even talking about his next relationship (good luck finding anyone who will put up with that for any length of time). That's not for discussion with your ex-girlfriend.
I hope your next relationship (which will come along in time) is with some marvelous man who treats you with respect and kindness.
Originally Posted by B1ueEyes
hi yes I am it’s just madness isn’t it when you read all the stuff they do and then realise you was living that life too !!
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actually ordering a drink with breakfast is not THAT uncommon - think Brunch and Mimosas. Think Bloody Marys. those are considered "acceptable" and even encouraged.
that is not to "defend" your ex. WHY did he drink? i'm sure his response would be something like - why NOT? but it's 10am! yeah but it's NOON somewhere!
but there you have it. you saw what you saw. you heard what you heard. and now you can leave him and his jacket and his cider and leave him to it.
that is not to "defend" your ex. WHY did he drink? i'm sure his response would be something like - why NOT? but it's 10am! yeah but it's NOON somewhere!
but there you have it. you saw what you saw. you heard what you heard. and now you can leave him and his jacket and his cider and leave him to it.
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Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 51
[QUOTE=trailmix;7292090]Ugh, what a great partner.
Just accept every single thing about me and don't complain - sounds like people will be lining up lol
Also, aside from the cider for breakfast, why on earth was he even talking about his next relationship (good luck finding anyone who will put up with that for any length of time). That's not for discussion with your ex-girlfriend.
I hope your next relationship (which will come along in time) is with some marvelous man who treats you with respect and kindness.
Yes, it's impossible not to get caught up in it in some way. The tornado that is alcoholism touches everyone that comes in to contact with the alcoholic
doesn’t he sound amazing !!! He was looking for a reaction from me his done this before and I just laugh and I use to say to him good luck finding someone sweetheart and walk off which he hated, he wants me to get jealous and after he woood say I’m only joking so to hear that again just made me laugh and I am now his deluded. Lol my eye are open o see him for who he is a train wreck and he knows with me I am not weak with his words like that it doesn’t faze me because he has a lot to offer someone haha
Just accept every single thing about me and don't complain - sounds like people will be lining up lol
Also, aside from the cider for breakfast, why on earth was he even talking about his next relationship (good luck finding anyone who will put up with that for any length of time). That's not for discussion with your ex-girlfriend.
I hope your next relationship (which will come along in time) is with some marvelous man who treats you with respect and kindness.
Yes, it's impossible not to get caught up in it in some way. The tornado that is alcoholism touches everyone that comes in to contact with the alcoholic
doesn’t he sound amazing !!! He was looking for a reaction from me his done this before and I just laugh and I use to say to him good luck finding someone sweetheart and walk off which he hated, he wants me to get jealous and after he woood say I’m only joking so to hear that again just made me laugh and I am now his deluded. Lol my eye are open o see him for who he is a train wreck and he knows with me I am not weak with his words like that it doesn’t faze me because he has a lot to offer someone haha
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
actually ordering a drink with breakfast is not THAT uncommon - think Brunch and Mimosas. Think Bloody Marys. those are considered "acceptable" and even encouraged.
that is not to "defend" your ex. WHY did he drink? i'm sure his response would be something like - why NOT? but it's 10am! yeah but it's NOON somewhere!
but there you have it. you saw what you saw. you heard what you heard. and now you can leave him and his jacket and his cider and leave him to it.
that is not to "defend" your ex. WHY did he drink? i'm sure his response would be something like - why NOT? but it's 10am! yeah but it's NOON somewhere!
but there you have it. you saw what you saw. you heard what you heard. and now you can leave him and his jacket and his cider and leave him to it.
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