Need to just not deal with him
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Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 91
Laur12,
That sounds like my life, except my RAF has 31 days and went from being sweet after detox/rehab to flipping a switch in his brain where he is mean and horrible to me every single day. I didn't do anything wrong, except confront him on a lie about money, and now he's decided I'm the enemy. I miss the great guy I had before.
I think Anvil is right--he can't have his num nums and that has to be blamed on someone, so I'm the one he's blaming.
Hugs.
That sounds like my life, except my RAF has 31 days and went from being sweet after detox/rehab to flipping a switch in his brain where he is mean and horrible to me every single day. I didn't do anything wrong, except confront him on a lie about money, and now he's decided I'm the enemy. I miss the great guy I had before.
I think Anvil is right--he can't have his num nums and that has to be blamed on someone, so I'm the one he's blaming.
Hugs.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by TriStrong 
Laur12,
That sounds like my life, except my RAF has 31 days and went from being sweet after detox/rehab to flipping a switch in his brain where he is mean and horrible to me every single day. I didn't do anything wrong, except confront him on a lie about money, and now he's decided I'm the enemy. I miss the great guy I had before.
I think Anvil is right--he can't have his num nums and that has to be blamed on someone, so I'm the one he's blaming.
Hugs.
That sounds like my life, except my RAF has 31 days and went from being sweet after detox/rehab to flipping a switch in his brain where he is mean and horrible to me every single day. I didn't do anything wrong, except confront him on a lie about money, and now he's decided I'm the enemy. I miss the great guy I had before.
I think Anvil is right--he can't have his num nums and that has to be blamed on someone, so I'm the one he's blaming.
Hugs.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by skippernlilg
Neither of you got to this place in 4 short days. Give yourself some patience, and you may find some for him, too. It's a journey, not a destination. Breathe!!
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by PuzzledHeart
How are you doing today Laur? And how was the movie?
Doing pretty well. I took today off and visited with my aunt and relaxed at the pool. Also got my yankees playoff tix which made me smile!!!! movie was good. I saw hustlers.
This week has been pretty ok. AH is at a week of sobriety. It is not much but it is the first time in 12 years other than while in rehab so it is something.
We have had a mellow week. Both working and just dinner and tv each night. Getting along ok.
I am trying to balance time together and apart so that i am not smothering and so that i have time on my own. Seems to be good. Next two nights we will spend separately and sat and sun we are doing a movie and going to a top golf charity event.
i know it is way early but he really does seem ready. I know he his tired of feeling crappy.
I know he needs to focus on his sobriety so i am trying not to push so hard.
I need a vacation and he told me he needs to have some time in first and wants to stay close to the program. The old me would be flipping out. The new me (thanks to alanon) understands. So we compromise. We are doing a couple weekends in dc and boston instead. And i will probably go away with some girlfriends for a few days in the sun. This way he does not feel pressured and i do not feel deprived.
Thanks so much for checking on me. I am hoping this is a good new start.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
This made me really laugh. I hope everyone is tip top today! Have a wonderful day!
Originally Posted by TriStrong
Laur12,
he can't have his num nums and that has to be blamed on someone, so I'm the one he's blaming.
Hugs.
he can't have his num nums and that has to be blamed on someone, so I'm the one he's blaming.
Hugs.
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