New to forum, both parents died from alcohol addiction
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 10
New to forum, both parents died from alcohol addiction
Hi,
As the subject says I lost both my parents to alcohol. Mum died in August 2015, Dad in March 2017. I'm 43 and I have no brother or sisters. The last few years of my parent's lives were horrific. I think I coped pretty well and I had some counseling following my mother's death. I have realised lately that I'm still haunted by some of the experiences I had. I don't think I'm giving the enormity of what I've been through enough respect. I know I need to explore this, to look inwards and deal with the demons. I want to move forward with my life but I don't want to take all of this with me as it is.
I thought I'd post on here to try and make some connections with like minded people. I'd be really happy to hear from you.
Peace.
Jon
As the subject says I lost both my parents to alcohol. Mum died in August 2015, Dad in March 2017. I'm 43 and I have no brother or sisters. The last few years of my parent's lives were horrific. I think I coped pretty well and I had some counseling following my mother's death. I have realised lately that I'm still haunted by some of the experiences I had. I don't think I'm giving the enormity of what I've been through enough respect. I know I need to explore this, to look inwards and deal with the demons. I want to move forward with my life but I don't want to take all of this with me as it is.
I thought I'd post on here to try and make some connections with like minded people. I'd be really happy to hear from you.
Peace.
Jon
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Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Hi Jon -- Welcome. I'm sorry for what you've been through. I also lost my parents to complications from alcohol addictions. When I look back on my life, it's a wonder I survived. My therapist says it's a wonder I'm as normal as I am although that's debatable haha.
It's so sad to watch one's parents go down that road, and it must be especially sad for you as an only child. I have a sibling with whom I am not close and who rejected my parents toward the end. I was their caretaker, so I saw everything up close. Brutal.
I've recently recovered from an alcohol addiction of my own. Such things do run in families so you're blessed if you've managed to escape. I wish you well and hope you'll keep posting and reading here. There are lots of helpful, understanding folks. Also, keep up with the therapy is a good idea.
It's so sad to watch one's parents go down that road, and it must be especially sad for you as an only child. I have a sibling with whom I am not close and who rejected my parents toward the end. I was their caretaker, so I saw everything up close. Brutal.
I've recently recovered from an alcohol addiction of my own. Such things do run in families so you're blessed if you've managed to escape. I wish you well and hope you'll keep posting and reading here. There are lots of helpful, understanding folks. Also, keep up with the therapy is a good idea.
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JPRB...…..If you go to the book section of amazon.com.....and type in the words "Adult Children of Alcoholics".....you will find several books pertaining to this subject....being raised in an alcoholic home...and the profound consequences for the offspring.....
There is an organizarion...a 12 step program....called "Adult Children of Alcoholics"....
I am sure that it will really resonate with you...…
To Aliceiw….I make the same suggestion to you....in addition to your regular counseling, of course.....
There is an organizarion...a 12 step program....called "Adult Children of Alcoholics"....
I am sure that it will really resonate with you...…
To Aliceiw….I make the same suggestion to you....in addition to your regular counseling, of course.....
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The Beach
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I'm sorry for your losses, and for what brings you here, but I am glad you found us.
I sympathize. I lost my Dad in December 2015. He was an alcoholic and had a multitude of cardiac issues (and wet brain) because of that. He died three weeks before he turned 72. I have a brother who has mental health issues, he lives with my extremely codependent mother. He only takes his medication sporadically and throws in alcohol and street drugs to the mix. It is a horrendous way of life for the both of them. My first husband became an alcoholic and after several years of living in that chaos, I chose to save my own sanity and left him. I know all to well what this disease does to families.
I'm glad you are here trying to make connections and to try and find a way to untangle all the things that happen to us as people who have grown up with alcoholism as part of our fabric. It's messy and it's painful, but there is a way through it.
I sympathize. I lost my Dad in December 2015. He was an alcoholic and had a multitude of cardiac issues (and wet brain) because of that. He died three weeks before he turned 72. I have a brother who has mental health issues, he lives with my extremely codependent mother. He only takes his medication sporadically and throws in alcohol and street drugs to the mix. It is a horrendous way of life for the both of them. My first husband became an alcoholic and after several years of living in that chaos, I chose to save my own sanity and left him. I know all to well what this disease does to families.
I'm glad you are here trying to make connections and to try and find a way to untangle all the things that happen to us as people who have grown up with alcoholism as part of our fabric. It's messy and it's painful, but there is a way through it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 10
Thank you all for your replies and suggestions. It's great to feel like I'm not alone. I went to an Alanon meeting this evening (I hope it's ok to mention that on here?). It was great to be there, nice people and I got some numbers. I felt very emotional while I was introducing myself and summarising my story so I know I'm doing the right thing by reaching out.
I hope to be an active member here. Once I have dealt with some of my stuff I want to be able to help others, use what I've been through for good.
I hope you are all safe, happy and well.
Thanks again.
Jon
I hope to be an active member here. Once I have dealt with some of my stuff I want to be able to help others, use what I've been through for good.
I hope you are all safe, happy and well.
Thanks again.
Jon
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Eauchiche 
Dear Jon
You have sustained the loss of your parents twice: when they were alive, then when they died.
I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks for joining us here. You have come to a good place.
You have sustained the loss of your parents twice: when they were alive, then when they died.
I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks for joining us here. You have come to a good place.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Aliceiw
.
Such things do run in families so you're blessed if you've managed to escape.
Such things do run in families so you're blessed if you've managed to escape.
I didn't escape. I worked the steps and came out the other side in much better shape. However you did it, my hat is off to you. Addiction killed my parents, I wasn't going to let it take me too.
Jon
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Originally Posted by JPRB
I didn't escape. I worked the steps and came out the other side in much better shape. However you did it, my hat is off to you. Addiction killed my parents, I wasn't going to let it take me too.
I also managed to recover eventually.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
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Originally Posted by FeelingGreat
Wow, that's impressive. My parents had a drinking problem, although nothing like yours, and I ended up with one as well. Crazy isn't it?
I also managed to recover eventually.
I also managed to recover eventually.
Yeah, crazy indeed. Live is pretty crazy, as long as I get through each day without causing harm to myself or anyone else, that's a successful day.
Thanks for your message ☮️
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by SmallButMighty
I'm sorry for your losses, and for what brings you here, but I am glad you found us.
I sympathize. I lost my Dad in December 2015. He was an alcoholic and had a multitude of cardiac issues (and wet brain) because of that. He died three weeks before he turned 72. I have a brother who has mental health issues, he lives with my extremely codependent mother. He only takes his medication sporadically and throws in alcohol and street drugs to the mix. It is a horrendous way of life for the both of them. My first husband became an alcoholic and after several years of living in that chaos, I chose to save my own sanity and left him. I know all to well what this disease does to families.
I'm glad you are here trying to make connections and to try and find a way to untangle all the things that happen to us as people who have grown up with alcoholism as part of our fabric. It's messy and it's painful, but there is a way through it.
I sympathize. I lost my Dad in December 2015. He was an alcoholic and had a multitude of cardiac issues (and wet brain) because of that. He died three weeks before he turned 72. I have a brother who has mental health issues, he lives with my extremely codependent mother. He only takes his medication sporadically and throws in alcohol and street drugs to the mix. It is a horrendous way of life for the both of them. My first husband became an alcoholic and after several years of living in that chaos, I chose to save my own sanity and left him. I know all to well what this disease does to families.
I'm glad you are here trying to make connections and to try and find a way to untangle all the things that happen to us as people who have grown up with alcoholism as part of our fabric. It's messy and it's painful, but there is a way through it.
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