Will Anyone Ever Want Me?
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
Lorelai,
This is a passage that helped me with these questions:
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
"The Prophet" Kahlil Gibran
Codependence is manipulation and hostage taking. When I work on myself to become the unique and seperate individual that I am supposed to be, I am ready for healthy love. And I am not the only one who has the desire for healthy love. So I know that I won't be alone. You aren't alone. You just haven't met many people who are on the same level as you have risen to. Give it time. You will be amazed at how many people there are who are capable of healthy relationships. Hugs, Magic
This is a passage that helped me with these questions:
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
"The Prophet" Kahlil Gibran
Codependence is manipulation and hostage taking. When I work on myself to become the unique and seperate individual that I am supposed to be, I am ready for healthy love. And I am not the only one who has the desire for healthy love. So I know that I won't be alone. You aren't alone. You just haven't met many people who are on the same level as you have risen to. Give it time. You will be amazed at how many people there are who are capable of healthy relationships. Hugs, Magic
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Originally Posted by Magichappens
When I work on myself to become the unique and seperate individual that I am supposed to be, I am ready for healthy love. And I am not the only one who has the desire for healthy love. So I know that I won't be alone. You aren't alone. You just haven't met many people who are on the same level as you have risen to. Give it time. You will be amazed at how many people there are who are capable of healthy relationships.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Star's Hollow
Posts: 615
Wow ! I love this board. Every one of your posts was amazing and, in each one, there was at least one thought that really struck me.
I know that I'm not ready for healthy love. I know I have more work to do. That is the beauty of giving it some time before I get in over my head. I'm certainly one to put the cart before the horse - patience is not one of my strong suits.
I will read this thread many times and I will smile every time.
Thank you all for your wise words and encouragement. I am blessed to have all of you.
Big Hugs - L
I know that I'm not ready for healthy love. I know I have more work to do. That is the beauty of giving it some time before I get in over my head. I'm certainly one to put the cart before the horse - patience is not one of my strong suits.
I will read this thread many times and I will smile every time.
Thank you all for your wise words and encouragement. I am blessed to have all of you.
Big Hugs - L
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: princeton WV
Posts: 15
was so afraid of being alone and not loved. Guess what I was already alone and not loved, I just didn't realize it. In a way I'm already loved... I found you guys. Hang in there girl!
Love ya!
Ms. B--- just dont put your love of another above your own love for yourself, that is the painful lesson I've learned, also, he didn't choose booze over you on a conscious level, he is sick remember, and sometimes its easier to choose the evilness/disease over love,...depending on how they feel about recieving love...you have always given me wonderful advice...I hope it helps--If you haven't cried deeply a number of times, your healing/meditation hasn't really begun" -Achaan Chah--I know that I'm not ready for healthy love. I know I have more work to do. That is the beauty of giving it some time before I get in over my head. I'm certainly one to put the cart before the horse - patience is not one of my strong suits--
Codependence is manipulation and hostage taking. When I work on myself to become the unique and seperate individual that I am supposed to be, I am ready for healthy love. And I am not the only one who has the desire for healthy love. So I know that I won't be alone. You aren't alone. You just haven't met many people who are on the same level as you have risen to. Give it time. You will be amazed at how many people there are who are capable of healthy relationships. Hugs, Magic---Wow! You've had some incredibly insightful posts above! I agree with whoever said that a relationship is about give and take. I also agree that an alcoholic will always choose alcohol over a relationship. That IS his relationship. I agree, but am mad, that he chooses alcohol because of his disease. If the disease was not of his own making, I would have an easier time accepting it. But I don't get to make his choices, just my own.
(((((I REALLY NEEDED TO READ ALL THESE COMMENTS, THANK YOU)))))
Love ya!
Ms. B--- just dont put your love of another above your own love for yourself, that is the painful lesson I've learned, also, he didn't choose booze over you on a conscious level, he is sick remember, and sometimes its easier to choose the evilness/disease over love,...depending on how they feel about recieving love...you have always given me wonderful advice...I hope it helps--If you haven't cried deeply a number of times, your healing/meditation hasn't really begun" -Achaan Chah--I know that I'm not ready for healthy love. I know I have more work to do. That is the beauty of giving it some time before I get in over my head. I'm certainly one to put the cart before the horse - patience is not one of my strong suits--
Codependence is manipulation and hostage taking. When I work on myself to become the unique and seperate individual that I am supposed to be, I am ready for healthy love. And I am not the only one who has the desire for healthy love. So I know that I won't be alone. You aren't alone. You just haven't met many people who are on the same level as you have risen to. Give it time. You will be amazed at how many people there are who are capable of healthy relationships. Hugs, Magic---Wow! You've had some incredibly insightful posts above! I agree with whoever said that a relationship is about give and take. I also agree that an alcoholic will always choose alcohol over a relationship. That IS his relationship. I agree, but am mad, that he chooses alcohol because of his disease. If the disease was not of his own making, I would have an easier time accepting it. But I don't get to make his choices, just my own.
(((((I REALLY NEEDED TO READ ALL THESE COMMENTS, THANK YOU)))))
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
So I'm getting my hair cut tonight. I'm sitting next to a lady who, for an entire hour and a half did nothing but bitch, moan and complain about everything that had happened to her over the last week. She mentioned her husband a couple of times so I know she is married.
I decided that, if that lady could find someone who loved her, I should have no problem at all.
I decided that, if that lady could find someone who loved her, I should have no problem at all.
It's not that you weren't enough, Lorelei.
It's that he wasn't.
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