Raindrops

hello everyone,
I have had a rough week. I guess it is the holidays and I am missing my ex AH and all the family fun a lot. Just a new wave of grieving my divorce is setting in. I am staying low, in prayer and getting through one day at a time. Any words of encouragement will help right now. I am terribly missing happy times and just want to touch and feel him but I know that is not a road I can go down on without harming myself. I have been very good with no contact for almost 6 months now and I go in for my final divorce hearing in one month.

thank you for reading.

hopeful4

You are getting divorced for a reason. This is one of those times to go back and review the WHY. It's easy to put those happy times in front of everything else, but that's not reality.

In time you will make new happy memories that will be real that you can hang onto.

Big hugs.

SparkleKitty

Sending you strength and courage and patience, Raindrops. Maybe try gently redirecting these painful thoughts towards acceptance that he is not the man you wish he was, or that he used to be.

Hawkeye13

You have done so well Raindrops--it isn't easy, and you keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Of course holidays make it harder, and the one month coming up compounds that.

Please treat yourself to a nice spa or yoga class and know you deserve it.

lostinjersey1

The holidays make it very rough..I have been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster myself..I broke up with my ex AH after he came back from a three month rehab and started binge drinking three days later....It's normal to feel this way, it's apart of moving on. It's easy to remember the good times, but than I think of how bad he treated me when he drank and that helps ease my mind. Just remember why you left.....

Sending strength your way, Do something nice for yourself!

trailmix

I'm sorry Raindrops, I know this time of year can be particularly painful.

What about your family, what do they do over xmas? What are your actual plans? If you have been drifting up until now (completely understandable) now might be a good time to look at what you want, what makes you happy.

If plans with your immediate family is not a thing, how about planning a get-away over Christmas?

DriGuy

If you are struggling with cravings, that will subside with abstinence. If you're struggling with emotions those should pass too, but that's something different from cravings.

Michsm

You will get through this, time will heal. It is a long hard road but know you will be at peace in the end. 6 months is great and you should be proud of yourself. I struggle as well. I was really sad on Thanksgiving but remembered the other Thanksgivings with him and what stood out was how I was lonely, angry, dissapointed in myself for staying, etc. He would start drinking on Wed night and end on Sat night when he passed out. The best part of it was depending on his mood, would I get berated the whole time, screamed at...once inch from my face, items thrown at me or would he just stay in the basement at his bar and hear him sing (scream) loudly with his headphones on...either way, hated it, hated him, hated my life. After just writing this, this was pretty much every Holiday and every weekend as my XAH was “functioning”. HA! Whatever that means, he felt since he drank when he didn’t work he didnt have a problem. Nothing is more disgusting than seeing a grown man not able to walk a straight line or understand him from his slurred speech, every single weekend and Holidays ....disgusting! Sorry, your post opened a door for me and it just poured out. You will get through this, stay strong.

CakeLady4000

Congratulations on six months. You can and will get past these feelings. You are doing great. Whenever I’m feeling lonely and nostalgic it’s usually because I’m sad and mourning what could have been....and not what actually was. At some point I made a list of all the reasons for leaving and when I feel myself waivering, I get it out and read it. It helps ground me in the present and remind me that I left for some very good reasons.

LovePeaceSushi

I agree with the others that you should do something for yourself! Big or small - - SOMETHING. Get a manicure. Go on a trip. Treat yourself to a fancy dinner. Go see a movie.....just something to be kind to yourself during this time. Sending hugs to you.