Is It Real?
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I don't think it's a blanket answer. I know on some levels I connected with my XAH. We were together for 20 years for goodness sakes. There were also times of disconnect and toxicity.
I think addiction ebbs and flows, and I believe relationships do as well. People go through different stages of life. I have made sure that I remember the good times, especially the ones involving all of us together as a family w/our children. No one can take away the good, or the bad.
What matters is the behavior that is happening now, who that person is right now.
I think addiction ebbs and flows, and I believe relationships do as well. People go through different stages of life. I have made sure that I remember the good times, especially the ones involving all of us together as a family w/our children. No one can take away the good, or the bad.
What matters is the behavior that is happening now, who that person is right now.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
I think it can be both/and. Alcoholism is a moving target - in early stages or when it's more "functional", we can be attracted to and attached to many of the good qualities the alcoholic displays. If the addiction progresses, this attachment can be "recruited" into the manipulative and reality-denying behaviors that addicts have to engage to justify their drinking - and as it gets worse, the dysfunctional aspects of the attachment can overwhelm the good stuff that was there at the start.
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