I am thankful for a good weekend.
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: OKC OK
Posts: 414
I am thankful for a good weekend.
It didn't start out great. It was my fault and I apologized.
Friday a friend sent me a link to a blog called the privileged addict. I posted something from the blog on my FB wall instead of in my private FB al anon group. I just wasn't paying attention.
AH flipped out. I am proud of my response. He said that people were sending him private messages on FB asking if he was okay and offering their help. (I do not believe this to be true. Any of my friends or family would have spoken to ME and his friends wouldn't have seen my post. I think he just saw himself in the post and got angry and wanted me to feel crappy) I told him that I was truly sorry that my post made him feel as though I compromised his anonymity and that I would delete it. (I did) He decided he still wanted to be angry so I let him and went with a friend to the casino. Super fun time by the way. I won 50.00 (I only do penny and nickel slots)
Saturday was our big family picture. His family stresses me out because no one is EVER on time for anything. I just decided that if someone didn't show up they weren't going to be in it. End of story. I discovered that I can now buy clothes from the misses section and wore a dress for the first time in a decade. Several people were late but we had a blast, there was a lot of laughter. AH showed up SOBER so super bonus. I can't wait to see the pictures.
Sunday was an interesting day. I slept through my alarm so we missed the morning service. (went to evening service) I had a few errands to run and when I got back AH had mowed the lawn, vacuumed, swept and mopped the floor and was doing laundry and watching Fireproof. When I asked what was up he said "I need to make sure our marriage is okay" I see...obviously I asked if he thought something was wrong and he said "You looked incredible yesterday and you're working really hard to correct your health problems and you're spending a lot of time away from the house. I just feel like maybe things are...off" (ie I'm changing and he's not-he probably feels left behind)
I told him that when he drinks I don't feel connected to him at all. I don't like the person he becomes and don't want to be around him. What I think he's feeling is that I'm not quite as focused on him as I usually am(or at least appear to be LOL) and that I needed to focus on myself. I've been neglecting myself horribly and that it didn't mean I was leaving or didn't love him." I did also tell him that the most damaging thing to our relationship was verbal abuse. He said he was sorry and that he shouldn't get angry. Ai yi yi this man needs counseling so badly. I told him he really needed to talk to the psychiatrist and to BE HONEST. That it's okay to be angry. It's not okay to abuse people when you're angry. I also told him I couldn't be his therapist, even if I was a therapist.
All in all a good weekend. I'm trying to let go and let people be.
Friday a friend sent me a link to a blog called the privileged addict. I posted something from the blog on my FB wall instead of in my private FB al anon group. I just wasn't paying attention.
AH flipped out. I am proud of my response. He said that people were sending him private messages on FB asking if he was okay and offering their help. (I do not believe this to be true. Any of my friends or family would have spoken to ME and his friends wouldn't have seen my post. I think he just saw himself in the post and got angry and wanted me to feel crappy) I told him that I was truly sorry that my post made him feel as though I compromised his anonymity and that I would delete it. (I did) He decided he still wanted to be angry so I let him and went with a friend to the casino. Super fun time by the way. I won 50.00 (I only do penny and nickel slots)
Saturday was our big family picture. His family stresses me out because no one is EVER on time for anything. I just decided that if someone didn't show up they weren't going to be in it. End of story. I discovered that I can now buy clothes from the misses section and wore a dress for the first time in a decade. Several people were late but we had a blast, there was a lot of laughter. AH showed up SOBER so super bonus. I can't wait to see the pictures.
Sunday was an interesting day. I slept through my alarm so we missed the morning service. (went to evening service) I had a few errands to run and when I got back AH had mowed the lawn, vacuumed, swept and mopped the floor and was doing laundry and watching Fireproof. When I asked what was up he said "I need to make sure our marriage is okay" I see...obviously I asked if he thought something was wrong and he said "You looked incredible yesterday and you're working really hard to correct your health problems and you're spending a lot of time away from the house. I just feel like maybe things are...off" (ie I'm changing and he's not-he probably feels left behind)
I told him that when he drinks I don't feel connected to him at all. I don't like the person he becomes and don't want to be around him. What I think he's feeling is that I'm not quite as focused on him as I usually am(or at least appear to be LOL) and that I needed to focus on myself. I've been neglecting myself horribly and that it didn't mean I was leaving or didn't love him." I did also tell him that the most damaging thing to our relationship was verbal abuse. He said he was sorry and that he shouldn't get angry. Ai yi yi this man needs counseling so badly. I told him he really needed to talk to the psychiatrist and to BE HONEST. That it's okay to be angry. It's not okay to abuse people when you're angry. I also told him I couldn't be his therapist, even if I was a therapist.
All in all a good weekend. I'm trying to let go and let people be.
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