Broke Up with Alcoholic Girlfriend.. Feel a lot of guilt.
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Join Date: Jun 2018
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Wrote a list of every reason why I left her, helps assure me I made the right decision when I’m feeling down. I’ve been going to the gym, lost 8 pounds since we broke up, and doing all the things I didn’t have time to do before. Part of me hopes some day she apologizes to me and understands the pain she put me through, but I’ve learned expecting anything from her will not turn out well, so I’m trying my best to just let it go completely.
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Originally Posted by Jlinks 
Part of me hopes some day she apologizes to me and understands the pain she put me through,.
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Originally Posted by dandylion
OMG.....I was raised with that saying too! Haven't heard that one in years...lol.....
I wouldn't have it any other way though! 
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Join Date: Dec 2014
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Seriously though,Jlinks..If you block all forms of communication it does alleviate the hopes/fantasy of a "I was so wrong" coming in some day and probably never. Even if she does reach out to you it's only going to be in her best 'interest'(selfish) and not yours..That's sad,but it's the reality of your situation. The "well..what if's?" suck for a while,but it does go away.. I'm approaching a year in Sept of my half ass final 'goodbye'(there were two/three nights we hooked up 1st of Oct,but we had pretty much called it quits in Aug/Sept and SURPRISE she had been seeing someone since July and he's already fed up. LOL Rip the bandaid off,deal with the hurt and accept that there's never going to be an appology. It's in YOUR best interest. Hang in there!
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I am sitting here laughing...with a s mil e o n my face....
It never ceases to amaze me...how, in the midst of such bone-deep pain...humor ma mages to come seeping through.....like--signifying that the spritit is still alive...still holding on...…
LOl…"rub some dirt on it; walk it off"...…
Also.....put some ice on it....elevate it.....let the dog lick it....
It never ceases to amaze me...how, in the midst of such bone-deep pain...humor ma mages to come seeping through.....like--signifying that the spritit is still alive...still holding on...…
LOl…"rub some dirt on it; walk it off"...…
Also.....put some ice on it....elevate it.....let the dog lick it....
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Location: Central O-H-I-O
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Originally Posted by dandylion
LOl…"rub some dirt on it; walk it off"...…
Also.....put some ice on it....elevate it.....let the dog lick it....
Also.....put some ice on it....elevate it.....let the dog lick it....
Last week a coach for another team did rub some dirt on a kid's arm after the kid took a shot to the arm by a baseball that took a bad bounce. The kid did recover nicely!
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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Jkinks, you are obviously an incredibly compassionate person, so I have to commend you for that. What you’ve gone through with her is terrible, and I feel a tremendous amount of empathy for you both. She has a long road ahead of her.
Unfortunately I relate to many aspects of this from your ex’s perspective. I was that alcoholic girlfriend who would have done anything to maintain the lies and continue drinking. I never typically got beligerent; I would hang my head the day after and beg for forgiveness. In retrospect, it had nothing to do with forgiveness. I wanted validation of my own worth from this person, which was not fair and created a truly toxic lack of parity in our relationship dynamic.
It sounds like she is staunchly standing at the point I was in the beginning: how dare you call me an alcoholic (a dirty word for many people). I drink for x,y,z reasons, and frankly your oppressive attitude is one of them! Well, that was not the case. I drank because I am an alcoholic and was incapable of controlling it. She’s been through a lot of terrible things, but she should address them as separate issues. There are plenty of people who have, tragically, experienced rape and have not become alcoholics. To be completely honest - I mean no disrespect to victims out there - but if i were you, i might question if she actually had experienced that. At least consider the possibility that it is another lie to attempt to excuse the chronic drinking. I mean, she also clearly told people that you threatened to kill her... another extreme accusation undoubtedly fueled by alcohol.
I can confirm that I’ve done and said countless things are simply untrue and uncharacteristic of me while drunk. It is difficult to explain this to a person who has never struggled with addiction and who likely believes the myth that alcohol is a kind of “truth serum”. While this could be the case for the average social drinker, for someone like me - and obviously your ex - it is generally not. As you said of her, I would become an entirely different person, saying and doing things that made 0 sense. I once went around faking an accent and making up an entirely different identity for myself. And that was one of the more benign stupidities...
anyway, what I’m getting at is that you made the right choice for you. She has to admit that it’s a problem on her own and get help for herself and her future. You cannot stop an alcoholic who doesn’t want to stop by any method, including policing them (tried this; another element of toxic dynamic). You will get through this and I’m proud of you for posting here. I truly hope she seeks help and gets honest with herself and others. Best wishes x
Unfortunately I relate to many aspects of this from your ex’s perspective. I was that alcoholic girlfriend who would have done anything to maintain the lies and continue drinking. I never typically got beligerent; I would hang my head the day after and beg for forgiveness. In retrospect, it had nothing to do with forgiveness. I wanted validation of my own worth from this person, which was not fair and created a truly toxic lack of parity in our relationship dynamic.
It sounds like she is staunchly standing at the point I was in the beginning: how dare you call me an alcoholic (a dirty word for many people). I drink for x,y,z reasons, and frankly your oppressive attitude is one of them! Well, that was not the case. I drank because I am an alcoholic and was incapable of controlling it. She’s been through a lot of terrible things, but she should address them as separate issues. There are plenty of people who have, tragically, experienced rape and have not become alcoholics. To be completely honest - I mean no disrespect to victims out there - but if i were you, i might question if she actually had experienced that. At least consider the possibility that it is another lie to attempt to excuse the chronic drinking. I mean, she also clearly told people that you threatened to kill her... another extreme accusation undoubtedly fueled by alcohol.
I can confirm that I’ve done and said countless things are simply untrue and uncharacteristic of me while drunk. It is difficult to explain this to a person who has never struggled with addiction and who likely believes the myth that alcohol is a kind of “truth serum”. While this could be the case for the average social drinker, for someone like me - and obviously your ex - it is generally not. As you said of her, I would become an entirely different person, saying and doing things that made 0 sense. I once went around faking an accent and making up an entirely different identity for myself. And that was one of the more benign stupidities...
anyway, what I’m getting at is that you made the right choice for you. She has to admit that it’s a problem on her own and get help for herself and her future. You cannot stop an alcoholic who doesn’t want to stop by any method, including policing them (tried this; another element of toxic dynamic). You will get through this and I’m proud of you for posting here. I truly hope she seeks help and gets honest with herself and others. Best wishes x
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