hopeful4

Good stuff, be proud of your young man!

Ladybird579

We've shown our children a different way, change is happening to our family dynamics and that is soooo awesome. We've broken the cycle and that empowers our next generation.

I brought 8 up with an active alcoholic and none of them drink, smoke or do drugs. They see it as a waste of life and money. My daughter married a normal man. No drama. My other daughter is engaged to a teetotal. I hope it stays that way. Their dealings with people are not co dependent and I just think maybe I was lucky? Maybe it was cos I didn't drink like he did ..I've no idea. I am glad tho. I had enough to feel guilty about.

Ladybird579

Well ds is learning the hard way that other peoples baggage can be very problematic. His now ex girl friends ex has been to the police and accused my son of verbally abusing him in the street. One of his associates is witness to this and therefore my son has to go in and make a statement of his side of it. His side being he walked past him and has never even spoken to him never mind abused him verbally. The ex is a violent alcoholic and has previous for many horrible things. He lives literally 300 yards from us. The police said it could go to court if the ex is believed and, as my son was on his own, he has no one to back up he didn't say anything. Worse the ex only reported it 2 days ago so ds cannot remember what he was doing on the day in question 3 weeks ago but knows he did not speak to him as he is scared of him. So my son could end up with a criminal record for something he hasn't done all cos one crafty, violent, child abusing alcoholic made it up on a day ds cannot prove he never.

Yeah am furious.

hopeful4

I would be furious as well! Sending hugs and prayers for you and your son!

DontRemember

I've never heard of verbal abuse being a crime. That's strange to me. I know it's not right,but I don't see how it would be a criminal charge minus death or terroistic threats.

Edit: I had to look through my legal books(google)...Seems like something that is hard to prove in court. I'm sure it'll be dropped as most police have more serious things to worry about. Didn't know I was breaking the law when I'd threaten to 'toss a beating' a few times throughout the years. Yikes! (In my defense;They all deserved it. LOL)

Ladybird579

Thanks for the replies. It is a strange one. Ds never said what is alleged but even if he had it happens to be true. I went away for a few days and enter exah, who surfaced from a binge, to "save the day" He phoned me and said he was taking ds for his police interview. I was on a railway station in Europe at the time and you could have heard me screaming no, no and no again from there lol. Ds does not want a man the police here have carried home when drunk and done several safe and well checks on, as well as taken abuse off, going with him as a pillar of society. Anyhow after I calmed down I phoned ds and said if that is what you want to do get on with it. When it all goes wrong do not come to me to me sort it out. The chances of exah remembering to turn up are also remote. Ds suddenly decided he'd rather I was there and told his dad. Dad seemed relieved cos he had realised he'd have to be a bit sober for at least an hour. I flew back today for the next round.

Ladybird579

Update:-

Police interview was today. It took them 15 minutes to decide after we left the cop shop there was no further action. My son's good name in our small town and his lack of police record saved him from further investigation/court cos they realised he had not done what was alleged. He conducted himself with dignity and maturity and I was so proud of him. It has gone a small way to ease the horror of the last few weeks. He came home to find he has been offered an apprenticeship in a field he really wants to work in so that was a bonus.