More FOO FOG POO
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
More FOO FOG POO
I've been N/C with my FOO for over 1-1/2 years. I moved since then, and they don't know where I live.
All of a sudden, I am getting texts from my youngest sister wanting my new address. I supplied her with my P.O. box info.
She sent a new text wanting my physical address. I ignored that request.
Now, a follow up text this morning saying, "OK. GOODBYE."
I think she is confirming that I did the right thing going N/C.
My FOO enjoys fighting as their national sport. I think I might have avoided getting lured in.
All of a sudden, I am getting texts from my youngest sister wanting my new address. I supplied her with my P.O. box info.
She sent a new text wanting my physical address. I ignored that request.
Now, a follow up text this morning saying, "OK. GOODBYE."
I think she is confirming that I did the right thing going N/C.
My FOO enjoys fighting as their national sport. I think I might have avoided getting lured in.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I envy those of you that have managed NC with FOO - I am very LC but it's still too much lately. Isn't it nice not even knowing what has her all twisted? Ahhhhh..... easy detachment......
Thank you for keeping the FOO FOG POO acronym alive & kicking - I immediately laughed out loud when I saw the thread title!!!
Thank you for keeping the FOO FOG POO acronym alive & kicking - I immediately laughed out loud when I saw the thread title!!!
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
Originally Posted by Eauchiche 
POO is an organic substance, frequently used as fertilizer.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Thought I'd help you feel better this morning by commiserating about my FOO TOO (again)....
Last week my sister got all twisted & came marching over to my side of the street via trying to get my BFF to gossip about my life because..... are you ready?.... we were too happy at Easter dinner. Something must be wrong.
Apparently she's also irked at my response to some of mom's problems - mostly that I'm not volunteering to own them or fix them. Her selective memory has kicked in again & she seems to have forgotten all the conversations we had a few months ago leading up to this very predictable situation. The one I've been waving safety flags around for 3-4 yrs. Tell me again?
So, just to keep all this alive & kicking, my husband did get into some trouble this week which, now that they are digging so deeply, they are aware of despite the fact that it has nothing to do with them, or me, for that matter. And again, nagging my BFF to essentially betray MY confidence & dump my business in the streets.
I have zero issues. I don't call them & share or complain about my problems or life. I stay on my side of things. I nod & smile & know that I can't change the stripes on these zebras. I've explained my life changes enough that I have no new words & I can accept that they can't hear me anyway. I have productive, honest conversations with DD about the whole thing. But I am somehow always the problem - I don't care enough, do enough, carve out enough space to carry these relationships one-sided like I did for 40 years. I've Changed and it's personal.
My sister has turned into my mother & they have both insisted to me that their needs for recovery/therapy/mental health are completely unnecessary. My sister HAS healed, TYVM. My mom KNOWS about her damage but prefers to compress it internally until it evidences in screaming, physical ailments. Beside that, she's told me point blank that there just aren't resources available for her.... just what exactly do I expect her to do???
Gosh that's funny.... what in the world have *I* been doing these last 7 years then? How is that after a few sessions with a therapist this year she told me I was already doing everything right in most areas of this & that there was little to tweak? (but certainly, we can all benefit from therapy as a check-in with ourselves from time to time)
Just like an addict, I had to WANT to become healthier for me & do the hard work of owning my side of the street. Just like many addicts do, I find myself "sober" among still-drinking friends.
Last week my sister got all twisted & came marching over to my side of the street via trying to get my BFF to gossip about my life because..... are you ready?.... we were too happy at Easter dinner. Something must be wrong.
Apparently she's also irked at my response to some of mom's problems - mostly that I'm not volunteering to own them or fix them. Her selective memory has kicked in again & she seems to have forgotten all the conversations we had a few months ago leading up to this very predictable situation. The one I've been waving safety flags around for 3-4 yrs. Tell me again?
So, just to keep all this alive & kicking, my husband did get into some trouble this week which, now that they are digging so deeply, they are aware of despite the fact that it has nothing to do with them, or me, for that matter. And again, nagging my BFF to essentially betray MY confidence & dump my business in the streets.
I have zero issues. I don't call them & share or complain about my problems or life. I stay on my side of things. I nod & smile & know that I can't change the stripes on these zebras. I've explained my life changes enough that I have no new words & I can accept that they can't hear me anyway. I have productive, honest conversations with DD about the whole thing. But I am somehow always the problem - I don't care enough, do enough, carve out enough space to carry these relationships one-sided like I did for 40 years. I've Changed and it's personal.
My sister has turned into my mother & they have both insisted to me that their needs for recovery/therapy/mental health are completely unnecessary. My sister HAS healed, TYVM. My mom KNOWS about her damage but prefers to compress it internally until it evidences in screaming, physical ailments. Beside that, she's told me point blank that there just aren't resources available for her.... just what exactly do I expect her to do???
Gosh that's funny.... what in the world have *I* been doing these last 7 years then? How is that after a few sessions with a therapist this year she told me I was already doing everything right in most areas of this & that there was little to tweak? (but certainly, we can all benefit from therapy as a check-in with ourselves from time to time)
Just like an addict, I had to WANT to become healthier for me & do the hard work of owning my side of the street. Just like many addicts do, I find myself "sober" among still-drinking friends.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Dear Firesprite
Thanks for sharing.
I think you are a stronger person than I am, to still be able to hang in there with your FOO.
I must admit that I took the easy path and went N/C when it became obvious that I was in a different universe than they were. Sometimes I struggle with the "OG" in the "FOG." Yesterday was a rough day, and a friend of mine helped me a lot over coffee.
I am seeing more and more that some things in life just aren't fixable.
Thanks for sharing.
I think you are a stronger person than I am, to still be able to hang in there with your FOO.
I must admit that I took the easy path and went N/C when it became obvious that I was in a different universe than they were. Sometimes I struggle with the "OG" in the "FOG." Yesterday was a rough day, and a friend of mine helped me a lot over coffee.
I am seeing more and more that some things in life just aren't fixable.
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