I like grumpy people
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I like grumpy people
I really do. They remind me that it's ok to not put on that happy face all the time. Its ok to show you're feeling down or upset. And its not anyone's responsibility to ignore your own feelings, while trying to make sure everyone around you feels good. It's a hard habit to break, I still feel guilty, but I can catch little glimpses of feeling lighter and free.
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I dunno. When i think about grumpy people I tend to think they are doing a little more than just owning their emotions. They're kind of inflicting their misery on others through their grumpiness.
I think I prefer people who own their negative feelings with honesty and humility, but who will also take action to help themselves feel better, and sometimes that might include asking for some help. After all, it's one thing accepting you're feeling rotten and have fallen in the mire, but another thing to resolve to swim around in those feelings and splash that crap all over every one else.
Just my take on it though. Feel free to ignore.
BB
I think I prefer people who own their negative feelings with honesty and humility, but who will also take action to help themselves feel better, and sometimes that might include asking for some help. After all, it's one thing accepting you're feeling rotten and have fallen in the mire, but another thing to resolve to swim around in those feelings and splash that crap all over every one else.
Just my take on it though. Feel free to ignore.
BB
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Wamama......I get what you are saying...I really do..... and, I realize you are being a little bit tongue-in-cheek...in order to make the point....
I have felt the same way, sometimes. Not that I like grumpy people so much...but, that, it is like everybody expecting that you should be bright sunny and cheerful at all times...and, not allowed to ever be your own authentic self....
It is like you are expected to be there for everybody else...but, heaven forbid that they should be expected to be there for you!
I have felt the same way, sometimes. Not that I like grumpy people so much...but, that, it is like everybody expecting that you should be bright sunny and cheerful at all times...and, not allowed to ever be your own authentic self....
It is like you are expected to be there for everybody else...but, heaven forbid that they should be expected to be there for you!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Grumpiness. Well, are they grumpy because they just got a bad medical diagnosis or because there are four people in front of them in the grocery line? I think context is important.
With that said, compassion and patience are great skills to develop and one of my favorite AA Thoughts of the Day is:
Try Levitating
We reacted more strongly to frustrations than normal people.
Impatience with other people is one of my principal failings. Following a slow car in a no-passing lane, or waiting in a restaurant for the check, drives me to distraction. Before I give God a chance to slow me down, I explode, and that's what I call being quicker than God.
That repeated experience gave me an idea. I thought if I could look down on these events from God's point of view, I might better control my feelings and behavior. I tried it and when I encountered the next slow driver, I levitated and looked down on the other car and upon myself. I saw an elderly couple driving along, happily chatting about their grandchildren. They were followed by me - bug eyed and red of face - who had no time schedule to meet anyway. I looked so silly that I dropped back into reality and slowed down.
Seeing things from God's angle of vision can be very relaxing.
~AS BILL SEES IT, p. 111
With that said, compassion and patience are great skills to develop and one of my favorite AA Thoughts of the Day is:
Try Levitating
We reacted more strongly to frustrations than normal people.
Impatience with other people is one of my principal failings. Following a slow car in a no-passing lane, or waiting in a restaurant for the check, drives me to distraction. Before I give God a chance to slow me down, I explode, and that's what I call being quicker than God.
That repeated experience gave me an idea. I thought if I could look down on these events from God's point of view, I might better control my feelings and behavior. I tried it and when I encountered the next slow driver, I levitated and looked down on the other car and upon myself. I saw an elderly couple driving along, happily chatting about their grandchildren. They were followed by me - bug eyed and red of face - who had no time schedule to meet anyway. I looked so silly that I dropped back into reality and slowed down.
Seeing things from God's angle of vision can be very relaxing.
~AS BILL SEES IT, p. 111
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i was just thinking this morning i found a new diagnosed illness: OCGOM:
Obsessive Compulsive Grump Old Man.
i think i see what yer sayin there- wamama- we CAN be grumpy. just as i CAN be happy, i CAN be sad, i CAN be frustrated. it doesnt mean thats who i am.
i CAN be human????
Obsessive Compulsive Grump Old Man.
i think i see what yer sayin there- wamama- we CAN be grumpy. just as i CAN be happy, i CAN be sad, i CAN be frustrated. it doesnt mean thats who i am.
i CAN be human????
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 128
Love this! It's another important nugget of information for me. We get to see grumpy people every day, and instead of avoiding them, we can appreciate them and learn from them!
If you love grumpy people you'd hate me! I'm the one who goes around smiling and helping people all day long until, every now and then, I crash. But then I just pick myself up and be sickingly cheerful again!
Seriously. Yesterday I felt overwhelmed after a busy day. I lost my keys and at the same time remembered that I had forgotten to make an important phone call again during work hours. My daughter and husband were helping me find my keys. I let myself act grumpy, I shut down their jokes about me that I usually join in on and I was grumpy. When I felt guilty about how my grumpiness could affect them I said to myself, "they're adults, they're allowed to show their emotions, you are allowed to do this!" It didn't exactly feel good, just different, but my daughter offered to do the errand with my keys that was for her in the first place, and my husband gave me space after for me to continue the items in my self care list. At the end of the day feeling my emotions and letting other people know that I'm human was a very good way to go
If you love grumpy people you'd hate me! I'm the one who goes around smiling and helping people all day long until, every now and then, I crash. But then I just pick myself up and be sickingly cheerful again!
Seriously. Yesterday I felt overwhelmed after a busy day. I lost my keys and at the same time remembered that I had forgotten to make an important phone call again during work hours. My daughter and husband were helping me find my keys. I let myself act grumpy, I shut down their jokes about me that I usually join in on and I was grumpy. When I felt guilty about how my grumpiness could affect them I said to myself, "they're adults, they're allowed to show their emotions, you are allowed to do this!" It didn't exactly feel good, just different, but my daughter offered to do the errand with my keys that was for her in the first place, and my husband gave me space after for me to continue the items in my self care list. At the end of the day feeling my emotions and letting other people know that I'm human was a very good way to go
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Wamama48 
I really do. They remind me that it's ok to not put on that happy face all the time. Its ok to show you're feeling down or upset. And its not anyone's responsibility to ignore your own feelings, while trying to make sure everyone around you feels good. It's a hard habit to break, I still feel guilty, but I can catch little glimpses of feeling lighter and free.
For me I guess it would depend if the person was grumpy all the time. I know a few such people and I can't be around them for too long.
On the other hand to pretend life is peaches and cream while going through a rough patch isn't particularly heathy either.
What I have learned is most people aren't interested in how you're doing. They've got their own lives and drama.
Which is why discussing the weather is usually the safest route.
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
Having been around perpetually grumpy people, and people who hate them, I think I like people who are comfortable with a range of emotions. So my ideal buddy would be someone who is not afraid to be happy, sad, angry, grumpy, goofy, serious... basically a human. It's difficult trying to fake happiness all the time, and being around fake-happy is draining because it's an act. But it's also difficult knowing that someone is actually stuck in a bad place because they somehow benefit from it -- that's a bit like being around an addict. It makes you feel helpless. I have had phases of grumpiness, at least, I think I have.
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I would LOVE to be where you are! At work I have a favorite customer. He is always smiling and upbeat. I was talking to him one day and he seemed upset. He was going to visit an old friends grave. He shared a few of his favorite memories, and even though he was teary-eyed, he was smiling. He can stay fairly positive, upbeat and smiling through anything. I would love to be like that! I've never been able to get even close to that, but maybe one day.
Originally Posted by Blueskies18
Love this! It's another important nugget of information for me. We get to see grumpy people every day, and instead of avoiding them, we can appreciate them and learn from them!
If you love grumpy people you'd hate me! I'm the one who goes around smiling and helping people all day long until, every now and then, I crash. But then I just pick myself up and be sickingly cheerful again!
Seriously. Yesterday I felt overwhelmed after a busy day. I lost my keys and at the same time remembered that I had forgotten to make an important phone call again during work hours. My daughter and husband were helping me find my keys. I let myself act grumpy, I shut down their jokes about me that I usually join in on and I was grumpy. When I felt guilty about how my grumpiness could affect them I said to myself, "they're adults, they're allowed to show their emotions, you are allowed to do this!" It didn't exactly feel good, just different, but my daughter offered to do the errand with my keys that was for her in the first place, and my husband gave me space after for me to continue the items in my self care list. At the end of the day feeling my emotions and letting other people know that I'm human was a very good way to go
If you love grumpy people you'd hate me! I'm the one who goes around smiling and helping people all day long until, every now and then, I crash. But then I just pick myself up and be sickingly cheerful again!
Seriously. Yesterday I felt overwhelmed after a busy day. I lost my keys and at the same time remembered that I had forgotten to make an important phone call again during work hours. My daughter and husband were helping me find my keys. I let myself act grumpy, I shut down their jokes about me that I usually join in on and I was grumpy. When I felt guilty about how my grumpiness could affect them I said to myself, "they're adults, they're allowed to show their emotions, you are allowed to do this!" It didn't exactly feel good, just different, but my daughter offered to do the errand with my keys that was for her in the first place, and my husband gave me space after for me to continue the items in my self care list. At the end of the day feeling my emotions and letting other people know that I'm human was a very good way to go
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 625
I too think that context for "grumpiness" is important. People who are alone, without accepting families, are not allowed to be grouchy to others they interact with. In a work situation, being excessively negative is not ok, especially for the boss. People who are around/work with children, or those who are ill or struggling need to find another way/place to be grumpy. I agree that being human means we all have a range of emotions that are real and valid, but it's also true that there are consequences to grumping on other people - for the grumpee and the grumpered-at.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
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Originally Posted by biminiblue
I tried it and when I encountered the next slow driver, I levitated and looked down on the other car and upon myself. I saw an elderly couple driving along, happily chatting about their grandchildren. They were followed by me - bug eyed and red of face - who had no time schedule to meet anyway. I looked so silly that I dropped back into reality and slowed down.
Seeing things from God's angle of vision can be very relaxing.
~AS BILL SEES IT, p. 111[/I]
Seeing things from God's angle of vision can be very relaxing.
~AS BILL SEES IT, p. 111[/I]
I was actually in this very situation the other day but I wasn't the driver. The person I was with was livid! The horn was honked, yelling, swearing etc. Granted, the person ahead was doing pretty much everything wrong and we might still be sitting there if he or she was left to their own devices.
I've known a few people who have decided how everyone should drive and what I see is the only person that is affected is the person getting their knickers in a twist.
Aside from the time I was in a vehicle and someone else was driving and they got so mad at being cut off they waited until the person stopped and got out and punched their door and left a dent in it.
But that's another story.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,647
Originally Posted by Wamama48
I really do. They remind me that it's ok to not put on that happy face all the time. Its ok to show you're feeling down or upset. And its not anyone's responsibility to ignore your own feelings, while trying to make sure everyone around you feels good. It's a hard habit to break, I still feel guilty, but I can catch little glimpses of feeling lighter and free.
I think for those that I don't know well enough to share any of that with I will just smile and laugh - i'm comfortable with that.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
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Reading the title of your post made me laugh. I have to admit it !
I don't mind grumpy people for the most part. There is an expression of reality/being real when a person is able to recognize their feelings and not try to cover them up. My only issue is when someone stays in the grumpy mode (ok now im thinking of Grumpy Cat) sigh... stays in the grumpy mode for a long time, as if there is no hope for tomorrow being a better day. Either through circumstances changing, or by making a plan and taking action which might turn the frown right side up.
I don't mind grumpy people for the most part. There is an expression of reality/being real when a person is able to recognize their feelings and not try to cover them up. My only issue is when someone stays in the grumpy mode (ok now im thinking of Grumpy Cat) sigh... stays in the grumpy mode for a long time, as if there is no hope for tomorrow being a better day. Either through circumstances changing, or by making a plan and taking action which might turn the frown right side up.
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Location: America
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I'm not sure what's worse: A grouchy person or a fake cheerful person who looks at real problems with rose colored glasses and who pretends there is no elephant in the room when in fact there is a very big purple elephant with pink polka dots all over him.
I'm a bit tongue in cheek too....
I get what dandy is saying....and maybe this isn't so for everyone, but God forbid if you give an honest answer to how you really feel when someone asks how you are....is it that people are asking "amiss" or is it that we answer them "amiss" (as in we don't tell them the truth about how we really are.). Now, mind you, those who know me well can tell whether or not I am telling the truth or just saying something "nice".
Why is it not okay to say, "I'm not feeling that great today."? Why do people react the way they do when you just tell them the truth? Some of it is how people are raised. Well, my dad was the more honest one of my parents...my mom was more like an ostrich who would bury her head in sand rather than say something like, "It's been a crappy day." No no no....she taught us as kids to say nice things no matter what. So, I landed somewhere in the middle between my mom and dad. I like to find nice things to say about others when I can....I like to point out the positive....but if something is truly wrong....I'd like to think it's okay to speak up about it....and , sometimes, I'd best just leave the premises before I say something I'll later regret. Which, it turns out is also considered "unacceptable" in certain settings.
No wonder my dad liked to be alone on his property so much. The world is just full of people putting on pretenses. Look at the media, for heaven's sakes. All those glamorous pictures of people on the red carpet...."appearance" is "everything"....except....it's NOT everything. No one tells you about the fight someone had with their red carpet date before hand....well, in some cases they tell us TOO much about a person's private life, huh?
So, with tongue in cheek, but also being as nicely honest as possible here(wink, wink)....I'm going to follow in my dad's footsteps a little and stick to my plaid shirts and cowboy knock your socks off coffee stout enough to sink a barge in the muddy Mississippi.
Off my soapbox I go now, which by the way is big, and purple, and has pink polka dots all over it.
I'm a bit tongue in cheek too....
I get what dandy is saying....and maybe this isn't so for everyone, but God forbid if you give an honest answer to how you really feel when someone asks how you are....is it that people are asking "amiss" or is it that we answer them "amiss" (as in we don't tell them the truth about how we really are.). Now, mind you, those who know me well can tell whether or not I am telling the truth or just saying something "nice".
Why is it not okay to say, "I'm not feeling that great today."? Why do people react the way they do when you just tell them the truth? Some of it is how people are raised. Well, my dad was the more honest one of my parents...my mom was more like an ostrich who would bury her head in sand rather than say something like, "It's been a crappy day." No no no....she taught us as kids to say nice things no matter what. So, I landed somewhere in the middle between my mom and dad. I like to find nice things to say about others when I can....I like to point out the positive....but if something is truly wrong....I'd like to think it's okay to speak up about it....and , sometimes, I'd best just leave the premises before I say something I'll later regret. Which, it turns out is also considered "unacceptable" in certain settings.
No wonder my dad liked to be alone on his property so much. The world is just full of people putting on pretenses. Look at the media, for heaven's sakes. All those glamorous pictures of people on the red carpet...."appearance" is "everything"....except....it's NOT everything. No one tells you about the fight someone had with their red carpet date before hand....well, in some cases they tell us TOO much about a person's private life, huh?
So, with tongue in cheek, but also being as nicely honest as possible here(wink, wink)....I'm going to follow in my dad's footsteps a little and stick to my plaid shirts and cowboy knock your socks off coffee stout enough to sink a barge in the muddy Mississippi.
Off my soapbox I go now, which by the way is big, and purple, and has pink polka dots all over it.
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