ellima01

Well, My AH took my car and I am here at work after 12hrs- I knew he'd be drunk when he called saying he's on his way. i don't know why I am so pissed now. I guess I am just SOOOOO sick of it.
What do I do when he pulls up? Ignore him? talk to him? YELL at him ( which is what I'd like to do) He's drunk every single day- every day. I just am at my end right now
any advise

smoke gets in my eyes

(((ellima! )))
Don't bother yelling. Why don't you take the keys, drive both of you home and never let him have the keys again? You will have one less thing to get mad about and there will be one less potential killer on the road.

Hugs!
Smoke

gelfling

You might want to think about driving yourself to work with your own car. At least you know you'll get there and back safely.

If you're in a situation where you have the only vehicle, be firm and tell him you want to drive yourself. He'll have a fit, but if the car is yours, he can't do anything.

Be aware that he's driving drunk :elephant and jeopardizing your life and those of others on the road. Want it to stop? Call the cops when you know he's loaded and on the road. They'll take care of it.

Good Luck, Kathy

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi again ellima.

This is one of those times when I don't have to say "check the law in your state", because we live in the same state. In KY if you allow someone that you know is unlicensed drive your vehicle, you can be prosecuted (just for letting them drive your car) and are legally responsible for any damage they cause. Unfortunately I don't know what your culpability is if the car is half his. You need to find out. If stopping him means selling the car and buying one in your name alone, it would be worth it. Lot's of us let substance abusing loved ones take advantage of us, wreck our credit and our reputation with our friends. Credit rankings can be restored and friends can forgive. However, a legal record is forever, as are many injuries caused by drunk drivers. This is not a situation to mess around with. Venting here may make you feel better temporarily but you can't fix this by grumbling. And it needs fixing.

Extra hugs,
Smoke

hope2bhappy

I'm with Smoke. Save your breath. No need to say anything -- he knows what he has done wrong. Take the keys, take the car and leave him to his own imagination as to how to get around.

hope2bhappy

I just read from your post yesterday that the car belongs to both of you. I guess this will make it a little tougher for you to maintain sole possession. As for selling the car... well, if it's in both names, wouldn't a sale require his signature too? I doubt he'd agree to this.

The Equation:
A + A's behavior + the result of A's behavior = your anger
(Him + Drinking + you're stranded = you're pissed)

When faced with A problems, I try to find ways to remove myself from the equation so that it isn't a problem for me again. If you remove yourself from the equation, you will face fewer incidents that will make you angry. When there's an A-type obstacle, I try to come up with ways to go around it. Sometimes I can't do this, because I'm so angry that I can't see the forest for the trees. But the solutions ARE there -- we just have to use creative thinking to find them. For example: Is there anyway you could purchase a used car in your own name? Could you borrow a relative's/friend's car? Could you carpool to work? Take a bus? If you can find a solution, then it won't matter how or what your A does, because it won't be directly interfering with YOUR daily life.

Think about it, find a solution and you will remove yourself from the equation, which is the source of your anger. Does any of this make sense?

redrose0729

If the title has the word "or" between the names you do not need his signiture on it to trade it in or sell it . If it has "and" between your names then you would. Like John or Jane Doe , or, John and Jane Doe. Just thought that info might be useful.