One week after leaving ABF
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 16
One week after leaving ABF
Well it’s been a week. I haven’t gone this long without talking to him in over 2 years.
On the down side, the addiction I had to saving him still tries to convince me to reach out to check on him. I tell myself it isn’t up to me and he’d be drinking no matter if I talk to him or not. I find myself constantly wondering if he’s drinking. I didn’t realize how controlling this whole experience made me. It’s like I was on constant drunk alert and now that I have nothing to be alerted to I’m just a live wire all the time.
He found out today I told his parents. I was concerned about doing it because he’s a grown a** 36 year old but I worried about things like “What if he ends up in the hospital and no one knows to tell them he’s going to go through withdrawl.” Plus he has no one left to reach out to that’s sober now but them and I thought if they already knew it wouldn’t be as much to process if they are confronted with the scale of it. His mom told him that she was not willing to end her relationship with me because of him, that she supported me for finally leaving him to his choices and trying to take care of myself, and that they love him and want to help him if he decides he needs help. So that makes me feel better that he knows there is still love and support for him if he chooses it.
The pros: I made plans with a friend of mine to go to a concert I was originally going to go with my ex to, so I don’t have to go alone and mope or waste my hotel room. And I think I’m going to call my family in warm and sunny Florida to see if they would mind me coming to visit for a few days next month. I’ve never taken a vacation alone but it will be nice to get out of the snow and lay on the beach. Plus I haven’t travelled at all since we got together because of a combination of him never having money to travel plus me worrying about being far from home with someone who is going to see “vacation” as “reason to drink from sunup until pass out.”
One day at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time. I will get through this. And thank god for dogs.
On the down side, the addiction I had to saving him still tries to convince me to reach out to check on him. I tell myself it isn’t up to me and he’d be drinking no matter if I talk to him or not. I find myself constantly wondering if he’s drinking. I didn’t realize how controlling this whole experience made me. It’s like I was on constant drunk alert and now that I have nothing to be alerted to I’m just a live wire all the time.
He found out today I told his parents. I was concerned about doing it because he’s a grown a** 36 year old but I worried about things like “What if he ends up in the hospital and no one knows to tell them he’s going to go through withdrawl.” Plus he has no one left to reach out to that’s sober now but them and I thought if they already knew it wouldn’t be as much to process if they are confronted with the scale of it. His mom told him that she was not willing to end her relationship with me because of him, that she supported me for finally leaving him to his choices and trying to take care of myself, and that they love him and want to help him if he decides he needs help. So that makes me feel better that he knows there is still love and support for him if he chooses it.
The pros: I made plans with a friend of mine to go to a concert I was originally going to go with my ex to, so I don’t have to go alone and mope or waste my hotel room. And I think I’m going to call my family in warm and sunny Florida to see if they would mind me coming to visit for a few days next month. I’ve never taken a vacation alone but it will be nice to get out of the snow and lay on the beach. Plus I haven’t travelled at all since we got together because of a combination of him never having money to travel plus me worrying about being far from home with someone who is going to see “vacation” as “reason to drink from sunup until pass out.”
One day at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time. I will get through this. And thank god for dogs.
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