Sharing from "Newcomers" on the A Side of the Forum
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Sharing from "Newcomers" on the A Side of the Forum
I was wandering the forums this AM and I found this incredible piece of writing by a member called FreeOwl over on the alcoholic boards, in the "Newcomers" section. Granted, the post speaks of dealing with addiction from the addict's point of view, but I know it certainly spoke to me and my life also, albeit in perhaps a slightly different way.
I was so moved by it that I wanted to share it w/the rest of us over here in "Family and Friends" too. After contacting FreeOwl and receiving approval, I came straight here to share.
Link to the original post here if you want to read others' responses: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...nce-panda.html (Don't fight the gorilla, dance with the panda)
Don't Fight With the Gorilla; Dance With the Panda
You keep on hopping back through the ropes.
That 800 pound gorilla, heaving and thrashing, rippling with bulging muscles, silverback hair standing on end, awaits you.
Each time you leap back into the ring ready for the fight - this time with renewed belief that somehow you'll prevail. That THIS time you've found the weakness in his technique. THIS time you've worked out the victorious strategy. Each time, he pummels you. He bounces you about, he beats you profusely about the head and torso. He breaks your bones and eventually, hurls you out of the ring in a blackout.....
You come to.
You stagger about.
You lick your wounds and feel the weight of your shame, your stupidity.
And then, with a little time, you think maybe it's just another training program you need.... maybe another supplement or a particular mental game attitude. You feel stronger, you gain your feet and it's back to business.... you want to BEAT that gorilla.
But, see... that gorilla just gets stronger every time. He's training, too. He sees your weakness. He outweighs you a thousandfold. He's pumping iron and gaining ground every time you're not looking. He's more than ready for you. He'll beat you every time.
One day, he will kill you.
Instead, one day, as you raise your bruised and broken head from the concrete beside the ring, you notice in the distance a green mountainside. A beautiful panda dances serenely.... he flows... he is at peace.... a smile of joy upon his face, he meanders the mountainside meadow and he sways in the breeze like the bamboo he munches as he goes. He beckons.... he beckons to you.
And so you crawl. You gain strength. You gain your feet. You walk, slowly at first.... uncertain. You have thoughts about turning back, back to your training, pumping iron, working the heavy bag, readying for another go at that gorilla. But the panda beckons. He dances. He is joyful. You keep walking, then you run, then you fall to the ground at the panda's feet... exhausted.
You look up and instead of the gorilla's menacing, steely death-stare.... you are greeted with a grinning friendly smile of black and white faced joy. That panda is a welcome sight. He encircles you with an embrace, lifts you to your feet.... slowly, begins fluid movements of a dance that seems part t'ai chi, part swimming, part flying.... he beckons you to follow along. You mimic his moves, you flow.... awkward and unsure at first, but over time.... as you continue the dance... as you train and you unfold and your heart swells - you are overtaken with joy, gratitude.
You roll and you tumble and you dance. You swell and you grow and you graze and you ramble. You eat the bamboo and drink of the clear mountain spring. You dance in unison with the other pandas.... and one day, as you lift your eye to the horizon, your gaze meets the bleary red eyes of another being... a being lifting his head from the concrete.... he is broken, miserable, boiled in despair.....
And as you begin to dance, you beckon, you call to that being with the love of experience, strength, hope..... you dance. And in your furry black and white panda coat you realize you are free.... and will live your life in service to offering others that same freedom.
Stop fighting that gorilla....
The panda tribe awaits your dance.
I was so moved by it that I wanted to share it w/the rest of us over here in "Family and Friends" too. After contacting FreeOwl and receiving approval, I came straight here to share.
Link to the original post here if you want to read others' responses: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...nce-panda.html (Don't fight the gorilla, dance with the panda)
Don't Fight With the Gorilla; Dance With the Panda
You keep on hopping back through the ropes.
That 800 pound gorilla, heaving and thrashing, rippling with bulging muscles, silverback hair standing on end, awaits you.
Each time you leap back into the ring ready for the fight - this time with renewed belief that somehow you'll prevail. That THIS time you've found the weakness in his technique. THIS time you've worked out the victorious strategy. Each time, he pummels you. He bounces you about, he beats you profusely about the head and torso. He breaks your bones and eventually, hurls you out of the ring in a blackout.....
You come to.
You stagger about.
You lick your wounds and feel the weight of your shame, your stupidity.
And then, with a little time, you think maybe it's just another training program you need.... maybe another supplement or a particular mental game attitude. You feel stronger, you gain your feet and it's back to business.... you want to BEAT that gorilla.
But, see... that gorilla just gets stronger every time. He's training, too. He sees your weakness. He outweighs you a thousandfold. He's pumping iron and gaining ground every time you're not looking. He's more than ready for you. He'll beat you every time.
One day, he will kill you.
Instead, one day, as you raise your bruised and broken head from the concrete beside the ring, you notice in the distance a green mountainside. A beautiful panda dances serenely.... he flows... he is at peace.... a smile of joy upon his face, he meanders the mountainside meadow and he sways in the breeze like the bamboo he munches as he goes. He beckons.... he beckons to you.
And so you crawl. You gain strength. You gain your feet. You walk, slowly at first.... uncertain. You have thoughts about turning back, back to your training, pumping iron, working the heavy bag, readying for another go at that gorilla. But the panda beckons. He dances. He is joyful. You keep walking, then you run, then you fall to the ground at the panda's feet... exhausted.
You look up and instead of the gorilla's menacing, steely death-stare.... you are greeted with a grinning friendly smile of black and white faced joy. That panda is a welcome sight. He encircles you with an embrace, lifts you to your feet.... slowly, begins fluid movements of a dance that seems part t'ai chi, part swimming, part flying.... he beckons you to follow along. You mimic his moves, you flow.... awkward and unsure at first, but over time.... as you continue the dance... as you train and you unfold and your heart swells - you are overtaken with joy, gratitude.
You roll and you tumble and you dance. You swell and you grow and you graze and you ramble. You eat the bamboo and drink of the clear mountain spring. You dance in unison with the other pandas.... and one day, as you lift your eye to the horizon, your gaze meets the bleary red eyes of another being... a being lifting his head from the concrete.... he is broken, miserable, boiled in despair.....
And as you begin to dance, you beckon, you call to that being with the love of experience, strength, hope..... you dance. And in your furry black and white panda coat you realize you are free.... and will live your life in service to offering others that same freedom.
Stop fighting that gorilla....
The panda tribe awaits your dance.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 246
What a beautiful piece! I appreciate you sharing it.
Slightly off topic, but it drew my attention because a couple of weeks ago my 13 year old daughter came home from her therapy appointment. I guess the therapist had her look at animals and try to assign animals to members in her family. She thought her brother was a turtle, her and her sister were a dog and I was a panda bear. What did it mean, I asked her? But, with a smile, she didn't want to talk about it any more and I let it go. I'll assume it was good?
I have to say - I'm not the panda bear in the above piece (...I'm in the midst of a divorce). I'm still trying to get myself to a good place. When I read about the gorilla, I sensed anxiety in my chest, but the words of the panda bear were lovely.
Slightly off topic, but it drew my attention because a couple of weeks ago my 13 year old daughter came home from her therapy appointment. I guess the therapist had her look at animals and try to assign animals to members in her family. She thought her brother was a turtle, her and her sister were a dog and I was a panda bear. What did it mean, I asked her? But, with a smile, she didn't want to talk about it any more and I let it go. I'll assume it was good?
I have to say - I'm not the panda bear in the above piece (...I'm in the midst of a divorce). I'm still trying to get myself to a good place. When I read about the gorilla, I sensed anxiety in my chest, but the words of the panda bear were lovely.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 246
Originally Posted by honeypig 
I will be carrying the image of the panda bear with me to each class, I think.
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