merhaba

On my way to the airport I received a message that my AH was on his way there too - he was going back to Turkey as he could not get anymore teaching work (guess even Vietnamese Public schools don't want drunk/aggressive unqualified teachers)

Fortunately we did not meet up - but it put him right back into my head. More photos of him appeared with him drinking Raki with a caption - I deserved that! - but we so did not deserve him. He is telling people he will come back to Vietnam in winter to be with his new gfriend - hopefully that is fantasy..I doubt he would get a visa without my help.

Now I am worried because altho I wanted him out of Vietnam...he will be close by for our summer in Turkey and I have to go to resolve house/pets/divorce issues.

Still feeling overwhelmed and all this drama has overshadowed our holiday here in beautiful Hoi An. Poor YDD is ill so we are confined to the hotel room today - probably why I am overhtinking.

I just feel so hurt that he can move on so lightly while I am left wondering how/why I got myself into this mess and stayed so long...would probably still be in it if he hadn't left. I can't even feel good about myself for finally getting out.
And I feel so guilty about my girls (not his bio kids but the only Dad they knew - and hate) the damage seems endless aling with the problems.
Not the life I had planned

PhoenixJ

Empathy, compassion and support to you, merhaba. The aftermath of addiction..damage done. High emotions have passed- but like a storm, there is still work to do. Hard work- the tedium of getting on with life, keeping memories, feelings and emotions in balance. To live today- planning for tomorrow with the shadow of yesterday in our minds. Keep posting.