suncatcher

I'm not sure if friends and family of alcoholics is right place to post this but thus is where I usually post about issues with ABF. This post is about my son. He currently is living with my mom. He is involved with a woman who has a long history of substance abuse. He seems to be heading toward that himself. I have tried to talk to him only to have him lash out at me saying don't tell me how to live my f$#&ing life I'm my own man. Yet he can't seem to get his life together and live on his own. I watched my mom enable my cousin for years and now she is enabling my son to let him live with her, she paid for him to go to truck driving school and he is currently out of that job because of poor choices he made. He had another job doing something else but he is involved with an addict who is in a halfway house currently. I can't make him see that his choices are not only hurting him but also my mom. I told my mom not to give him money but to give him a deadline on finding other living arrangements. she gave him 3 months to get out on his own. He has stayed with me in the past also and I posted a thread about that situation. I wouldn't let him lay around and sleep and not look for a job. He has had several break ups with girls he cared about and that seems to have set him on this path to self destruction. I told him tonight when I saw him to not think he can save someone. The only person he can save is himself. I've been there as you all know and I hate to see him go down this road. I've put him in God's hands for now but I'm very worried about him. Just venting here. Thank you for listening.

Maudcat

No advice. Hugs. Here for you.

MicroMacro

That might not have felt very good, but it sure looks wise.

Best

LexieCat

My older son had a soft spot for troubled people, too--friends, girlfriends. It took getting burned a few times for him to understand he can't save people from themselves. I was proud of how he handled an emotional meltdown by his current g/f a year or so ago, where she took off without telling anyone where she was going. He kept going to work, and although I'm sure he was worried, he took care of himself. (She came back a short time later and got into therapy and they are still happily together).

Seems like we all gotta learn things the hard way.

PhoenixJ

Support to you

FireSprite

(((((((Hugs)))))))) I'm so sorry suncatcher.

Jaeger

It is so hard to watch our children go down a bad path. I started Al-Anon because my husband is an alcoholic but it has helped me more with my children. I'm not sure with my old coping skills and behavior that I would still be sane if it weren't for the guidance I've gotten in the rooms and here at SR.

suncatcher

Same here I have gained so many valuable coping skills here especially with codependency. Hoping I can pass on some of what I learned to my son. Thank you all for your continued support!

hopeful4

Big hugs to you!