The past of an ex with your future
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: north royalton
Posts: 60
The past of an ex with your future
Hi all. I want to thank you all so much for helping me in the past I have been doing wonderful even tho my ex fiance has continued to still try to contact me after 4 years of not being together,ughhh. So anyways I am with someone new and I am very happy now, he thankfully is not a drinker which is a whole new life for me.
Occurrences of my past creep up on me and I sometimes get mad or angry at my b/f if he does drink or gets drunk, which is very very rare. I know I need to understand that he doesn't have a problem and that he can socially drink once n awhile. I don't really drink anymore bc I choose not to.
I'm sure many of you know when u look into an alcoholic a eyes and they are completely gone and not their normal self all the time it's very heartbreaking. And if my bf chooses to drink and I see his eyes the way I used to see my ex's I immediately get mad. It's like I can't forget about the past it has completely ruined me with drinking. Anyone that I care about and them drinking makes me cringe. Does anyone experience this??? I am getting better but it's so unfortunate that I can't have a good time and let my bf without me throwing a fit bc I'm so paranoid and I hate people drunk....
Occurrences of my past creep up on me and I sometimes get mad or angry at my b/f if he does drink or gets drunk, which is very very rare. I know I need to understand that he doesn't have a problem and that he can socially drink once n awhile. I don't really drink anymore bc I choose not to.
I'm sure many of you know when u look into an alcoholic a eyes and they are completely gone and not their normal self all the time it's very heartbreaking. And if my bf chooses to drink and I see his eyes the way I used to see my ex's I immediately get mad. It's like I can't forget about the past it has completely ruined me with drinking. Anyone that I care about and them drinking makes me cringe. Does anyone experience this??? I am getting better but it's so unfortunate that I can't have a good time and let my bf without me throwing a fit bc I'm so paranoid and I hate people drunk....
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 994
I get how you feel. I used to feel the same but I learnt to differentiate between the odd drinking session and getting blitzed everyday. My sons used to be paranoid if me and b/f had a drink here. However they quickly realised that us having a drink did not lead to rows, fighting, someone passed out on the kitchen floor or listening to morning vomiting. I never drink alone and months go by when no one is here to have a drink with. I like a tipple at Christmas and I drink beer in Europe. It's all a matter of moderation, It helps that my boyfriend is happy when merry and never goes past that point.
I won't ever be with someone who drinks again.
If it bothers you - listen to that feeling. Getting drunk is not a normal thing to do, social drinking to me means one or two every few weeks. Not getting drunk. That's dangerous and it's a slippery slope that maybe your boyfriend doesn't yet understand. It won't get better, only worse.
If it bothers you - listen to that feeling. Getting drunk is not a normal thing to do, social drinking to me means one or two every few weeks. Not getting drunk. That's dangerous and it's a slippery slope that maybe your boyfriend doesn't yet understand. It won't get better, only worse.
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 773
Yes, same here. I nearly had a panic attack on the boat this summer when I realized that I am trapped on water with bunch of drunk people
I don't think getting drunk would be ok with me. Maximum of two drinks twice a month or so would be acceptable.
If I ever get involved with anyone (which is doubtful) - there is a list of "musts" - I don't care how great the person is....too much potential suffering
My DS worries about me even drinking wine so I don't
I don't think getting drunk would be ok with me. Maximum of two drinks twice a month or so would be acceptable.
If I ever get involved with anyone (which is doubtful) - there is a list of "musts" - I don't care how great the person is....too much potential suffering
My DS worries about me even drinking wine so I don't
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 40
Growing up with a AF, I don't like being around drinking either. Of course, there's the family who drink responsibly at holiday gatherings, and it has taken a long time but I am ok now with some of that. But I have stayed away from all other gatherings that involve alcohol. My AH knew drinking was a deal breaker for me When we married.
Anyway, i would not accept any drinking in a personal relationship. Alcohol has done nothing in my whole life except cause hurt & pain. I will never have it a part of my life.
Anyway, i would not accept any drinking in a personal relationship. Alcohol has done nothing in my whole life except cause hurt & pain. I will never have it a part of my life.
I'm the same way. When my husband has the occasional drink, I tense up. But I don't control him and the problem is mine. It takes a long time for people who grew up with alcoholics or were in relationships with them to understand that no one -- addict or otherwise -- is drinking AT them. But I'm getting there.
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