Berrybean

The Big Book of AA and the 12 and 12 (12 steps and 12 traditions) are both available to read online for free. It might be worth having a read through, especially the 12 and 12, if you want more understanding of what you might expect him to do and say.

Also, it's worth noting that steps 10, 11 and 12 are daily practice, and ongoing throughout recovery, so the steps are never 'completed '. The steps are an ongoing process. We keep working and keep learning.

Amends can be done in a few different ways. The idea is that they should not cause anyone else pain, and are supposed to put things right. Sure, the person making the amends does benefit from it afterwards in that they get to feel a but better about their skuzzy-selves (speaking for myself there ) but it should initially nit be about making them feel better, but an act of restitution. Sometimes this means suck it up, shut up, and spend the estate of forever treating people better and hope one day they trust and forgive you again. In some ways 'living amends' can be pretty tough long term as there is no sense of quick relief or other people realising that you're trying to make things right and to be a good person.
Hopefully he will ask you what he can do to right any wrongs he's done you. Yiu don't have to give any instant answers. You can tell him you want to think on it.

NoelleR

"... Keep in mind that amends are not apologies. You are not obligated to say anything in response to his amends... They are, after all, his amends..."

I kinda agree with this and disagree too. An amends is not only an apology for one's past actions/words/etc. However, as I was taught, an amends cannot be without an apology..........otherwise, listing of past 'wrongs' could come across as bragging.

For my amends, my sponsor had me.............: 1) list my past wrongs; 2) apologize for them; and 3) ask the offended person what I could do to mend (as in 'amend') the situation. In other words, I didn't get to choose my amends at all.

(o:

Mountainmanbob

Yes, actually with this gentleman being sober only 6 weeks it's kind of unusual for him to already be making admends. Not saying some will not be at this point so soon -- just a little unusual.

Thus, I understand where MIRecovery is coming from but, possibly I would suggest he bring his amends to me in 6 months.

I've seen many, many in AA that don't make 6 months sober.

Not meaning to shoot the poor guy down.

M-Bob

MAYA1

Thanks, I never knew what to imagine under amends. I will most likely never experience it but good to know thanks.