Another Tatertot Update :)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 120
Another Tatertot Update :)
Hello friends,
My apologies that I keep bounding in here every once in a while to bore you all with my updates... but in the slim chance that it might give others hope to hear happy updates, I think it's worth it
I will try to summarize my situation for those that are new..
A little over 7 years ago I met a man entering the drug & alcohol recovery center where I volunteer and he immediately had an effect on my heart, he made me very happy and I always looked forward to seeing him, and the best I can describe it as is that he made my heart smile. I simply could not put any words to what I was feeling at the time. While he was in treatment (and just so everyone knows, he was completely single.. he had been divorced for over 10 years and didn't have anyone waiting for him while he was in treatment) we began talking over dinner (residents, staff, and volunteers all eat together in a large cafeteria) and found out we had quite a bit in common.
An important point to my story is that he is actually much older than I. When we met I was 33 and he was 53 so I knew that it couldn't be any type of romantic attraction that I felt for him.. I just thought he was a really nice person, or so I told myself. After he graduated (6 month program) he still lived at the treatment center (they have an "after care program") and so we would still see each other once every 2 weeks at dinner (when I volunteered). Eventually he invited me out for coffee to which I hesitantly said yes (even though I had a friend watch from outside the coffee shop to make sure I was alright). He asked me out a few more times after that to which I said "no". He respected that and didn't try to pester me all the time, which was important to me.
At this point I was beginning to wonder if that really happy, smiley, wonderful warm and fuzzy feeling that I always got when he was around could actually be something "more"... which is probably when I logged on here for the first time, lol! I couldn't even fathom entering into a relationship with someone who was in recovery from drugs and alcohol, COUPLED with the fact that he was almost 21 years older than me!... could I?
Many very wise people here told me to run far and to run fast and to never look back, lol! And I definitely took that into consideration.. I did a lot of soul searching before finally deciding that maybe I should listen to both his actions as well as my heart and give him a chance...
We have now been together almost 6 years, living together for just over 1 (yes we took our time deciding to move in together), and he is coming up on 7 years clean and sober. It has been the most loving, respectful, honest, caring, FUN, relationship I've ever had. I don't regret a minute of it and I'm so glad I listened to my heart.
But I am so grateful for all the support and opinions I received from this wonderful community that I think I owe it to you guys to come back every now and then and give you an update. Believe me I would also update you if things went waaayyy south, but I'm really hoping I won't have to do that!! We are living together and talking about marriage, but I've told him that I am not in any real hurry to take that step.. that I'm loving life as it is, but that I'm not opposed to it when the time comes.
P.S. Note to self: I suck and writing "brief" summaries!
Thank you, as always, for listening.
Wishing happiness for all of you, and BIG HUGS,
TT
My apologies that I keep bounding in here every once in a while to bore you all with my updates... but in the slim chance that it might give others hope to hear happy updates, I think it's worth it
I will try to summarize my situation for those that are new..
A little over 7 years ago I met a man entering the drug & alcohol recovery center where I volunteer and he immediately had an effect on my heart, he made me very happy and I always looked forward to seeing him, and the best I can describe it as is that he made my heart smile. I simply could not put any words to what I was feeling at the time. While he was in treatment (and just so everyone knows, he was completely single.. he had been divorced for over 10 years and didn't have anyone waiting for him while he was in treatment) we began talking over dinner (residents, staff, and volunteers all eat together in a large cafeteria) and found out we had quite a bit in common.
An important point to my story is that he is actually much older than I. When we met I was 33 and he was 53 so I knew that it couldn't be any type of romantic attraction that I felt for him.. I just thought he was a really nice person, or so I told myself. After he graduated (6 month program) he still lived at the treatment center (they have an "after care program") and so we would still see each other once every 2 weeks at dinner (when I volunteered). Eventually he invited me out for coffee to which I hesitantly said yes (even though I had a friend watch from outside the coffee shop to make sure I was alright). He asked me out a few more times after that to which I said "no". He respected that and didn't try to pester me all the time, which was important to me.
At this point I was beginning to wonder if that really happy, smiley, wonderful warm and fuzzy feeling that I always got when he was around could actually be something "more"... which is probably when I logged on here for the first time, lol! I couldn't even fathom entering into a relationship with someone who was in recovery from drugs and alcohol, COUPLED with the fact that he was almost 21 years older than me!... could I?
Many very wise people here told me to run far and to run fast and to never look back, lol! And I definitely took that into consideration.. I did a lot of soul searching before finally deciding that maybe I should listen to both his actions as well as my heart and give him a chance...
We have now been together almost 6 years, living together for just over 1 (yes we took our time deciding to move in together), and he is coming up on 7 years clean and sober. It has been the most loving, respectful, honest, caring, FUN, relationship I've ever had. I don't regret a minute of it and I'm so glad I listened to my heart.
But I am so grateful for all the support and opinions I received from this wonderful community that I think I owe it to you guys to come back every now and then and give you an update. Believe me I would also update you if things went waaayyy south, but I'm really hoping I won't have to do that!! We are living together and talking about marriage, but I've told him that I am not in any real hurry to take that step.. that I'm loving life as it is, but that I'm not opposed to it when the time comes.
P.S. Note to self: I suck and writing "brief" summaries!
Thank you, as always, for listening.
Wishing happiness for all of you, and BIG HUGS,
TT
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
what a wonderful and welcome update! i love the story of the caring friend outside the coffee shop keeping an eye on you! congrats to you both on your collective and separate journeys and accomplishments! has it really be SEVEN years??????????????
congrats to you both on your collective and separate journeys and accomplishments! has it really be SEVEN years??????????????
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 120
I know, RIGHT!!!
Sometimes it feels like an age, and other it feels like a blink of an eye!
Sometimes I think about what I put him through before we started dating and I wonder how he ever put up with it! For the first few months I would walk down the street next to him, holding my purse in the hand that was on his side to make sure that he couldn't hold my hand, I actually turned away when he first tried to kiss me because I wasn't ready for that yet, we went to a movie and he tried to put his hand on my leg and I brushed it off, and once we were *actually* dating I never even gave him my phone number for 3 months and forced him to communicate through email! Wow I was cruel, lol! But I really wanted to make sure it was the right thing for me (and him!) and when I couldn't deny my feelings any longer I finally gave in and found the love of my life
TT
P.S. Thank you Anvil, for all your support through the years!
Sometimes it feels like an age, and other it feels like a blink of an eye!
Sometimes I think about what I put him through before we started dating and I wonder how he ever put up with it! For the first few months I would walk down the street next to him, holding my purse in the hand that was on his side to make sure that he couldn't hold my hand, I actually turned away when he first tried to kiss me because I wasn't ready for that yet, we went to a movie and he tried to put his hand on my leg and I brushed it off, and once we were *actually* dating I never even gave him my phone number for 3 months and forced him to communicate through email! Wow I was cruel, lol! But I really wanted to make sure it was the right thing for me (and him!) and when I couldn't deny my feelings any longer I finally gave in and found the love of my life
TT
P.S. Thank you Anvil, for all your support through the years!
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