Liveitwell

This got passed to me in my divorce group. Thought it was pertinent to share here as many if not most of us have been through this with toxic exs, spouses or associated family members:

"One of the most common character traits I have witnessed among survivors is their ability and desire to be self-reflective. As a generalization, most survivors are able to critically look at their motives and actions and behaviors. They are willing to fix character defects in themselves. These personal strengths are precisely what narcissist, sociopaths and psychopaths exploit. A toxic person knows if they hurl accusations at a survivor, those words will pierce deep and cause the survivor to question whether they are true. Quite the clever diversion tactic. It is THE TOXIC person who requires more self reflection but that will never, ever, happen."

Peace to y'all!

MsPINKAcres

Good stuff ~
people in my past were always great at attempting to divert the conversation about their wrong doings by bring up some totally unrelated "defect" of my character ~ through recovery I learned to say "you may have a valid point but that's not what we are discussing right now"

thanks for the reminder!
pink hugs

Liveitwell

^ yes, ma'am! Exactly.

Kata

MsPink, thank you, thank you, thank you!

That simple sentence is exactly what I wish I could've said when the xabf was trying to deflect and make it all about "my problems" instead of what we were discussing!

it funny how sometimes you don't realize how simple the answer is until you see it written in black and white.

It will etch this one into my brain and use it everytime the need arises!