lala27

I finally got the ex out of the house a month ago, he moved several states away to live with family. He says he's been going to AA meetings and plans to continue. He is now coming back as he misses his daughter, which is understandable. I told him he can not come back into my house, he doesn't seem to be perusing that at this point. I told him he needs to be mentally stable and sober if he wants to be in her life. She is physically safe with him, he is a worry wort and pretty much keeps her in a bubble & never drinks and drives. It's just the instability and mental abuse (towards me, not her) she has been exposed to. I am not one to keep a child away from their parent, I just want the best for her. My question is how do you go forward.... set boundaries, know they are participating in a program, etc, especially if you aren't living together.

LexieCat

Do you have a custody/visitation order in place? If not, I'd suggest you talk with a lawyer. Without that, there would be nothing to stop him from taking her and refusing to bring her back (as long as he isn't concealing her whereabouts), and you would have to go to court and go through everything from scratch to get her back.

Is he paying child support in the meantime? If not, he should be. Something else to discuss with a lawyer.

Others here can give you more insight into the logistics of what can work to keep your daughter safe, but the legal piece is important to address.

Liveitwell

Lexie said it all...talk with an attorney to see how you can ensure to your child is safe. Also , I might add that he may be saying that he's attending AA but may be lying, as addicts tend to tell us what we want to hear to get their way-and lie a lot. I'm not saying he is, rather just to beware of actions vs words. I'm sure others will come along and offer more but what I did was chose soberlink to monitor my exs sobriety, or lack therof. Peace to you.