help clearing the fog.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 140
help clearing the fog.
So things are going along just dandily as I'm letting things slide, not causing conflict (causing?), and doing as he pleases (not as I please).
But once I start to stand up on my own, gain some ground, voice my needs/wants, then the screaming/yelling/blaming comes out... and thats abuse. Correct? Thats basically my sign saying, he hasn't changed. He is only keeping the calm while you do what he wants you to do. Once you step "out of line" then the calm breaks and its all.your.fault.
Then once I back down, the "peace" comes back. He is overly nice almost enough to make me question if that episode really just happened.
Am I seeing/reading into this correctly?
But once I start to stand up on my own, gain some ground, voice my needs/wants, then the screaming/yelling/blaming comes out... and thats abuse. Correct? Thats basically my sign saying, he hasn't changed. He is only keeping the calm while you do what he wants you to do. Once you step "out of line" then the calm breaks and its all.your.fault.
Then once I back down, the "peace" comes back. He is overly nice almost enough to make me question if that episode really just happened.
Am I seeing/reading into this correctly?
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Yes, you are. Trust what you see and hear.
And remember, right now your own safety is WAY more important than standing up for yourself to him. You can stand up for yourself by getting safely OUT of this environment, but don't risk your own well-being by making speeches or openly defying him. You gotta be clever and stay under the radar until you are safely OUT.
And remember, right now your own safety is WAY more important than standing up for yourself to him. You can stand up for yourself by getting safely OUT of this environment, but don't risk your own well-being by making speeches or openly defying him. You gotta be clever and stay under the radar until you are safely OUT.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Montana
Posts: 140
I agree LexieCat. And proving my point with him is pointless anyways. No matter what, its MY fault. The abuse is all a consequence of the "terrible" things I have done. Thanks for your input as always. : )
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
amartin....I just went back and reviewed you previous posts....
When it is said that a p icture is worth a thousand words....the picture that you daughter drew is worth ten million words....that picture says it all!
If I were you...I would put it some place safe....so that you can keep your eyes on the goal.......
dandylion
When it is said that a p icture is worth a thousand words....the picture that you daughter drew is worth ten million words....that picture says it all!
If I were you...I would put it some place safe....so that you can keep your eyes on the goal.......
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Yep-to everything said above. I wore the fog glasses for years-he will most likely accuse you of anything-again, it's your fault for being too (fill in the blank), over sensitive, etc. HE is the problem-the bully and the abuser-and most of the time these guys don't change (ask me how I know!!). Keep moving forward and be safe !!
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Originally Posted by armartin 
So things are going along just dandily as I'm letting things slide, not causing conflict (causing?), and doing as he pleases (not as I please).
But once I start to stand up on my own, gain some ground, voice my needs/wants, then the screaming/yelling/blaming comes out... and thats abuse. Correct? Thats basically my sign saying, he hasn't changed. He is only keeping the calm while you do what he wants you to do. Once you step "out of line" then the calm breaks and its all.your.fault.
Then once I back down, the "peace" comes back. He is overly nice almost enough to make me question if that episode really just happened.
Am I seeing/reading into this correctly?
But once I start to stand up on my own, gain some ground, voice my needs/wants, then the screaming/yelling/blaming comes out... and thats abuse. Correct? Thats basically my sign saying, he hasn't changed. He is only keeping the calm while you do what he wants you to do. Once you step "out of line" then the calm breaks and its all.your.fault.
Then once I back down, the "peace" comes back. He is overly nice almost enough to make me question if that episode really just happened.
Am I seeing/reading into this correctly?
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