How to respond to this?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 982
How to respond to this?
Just got a text from AH's step mom. They live four hours away. They don't know he's in jail
She wonders if we're coming for Christmas
And also they are trying to decide whether to come next weekend for DS bday
They have in the past been pretty supportive and understanding
What should I say
She wonders if we're coming for Christmas
And also they are trying to decide whether to come next weekend for DS bday
They have in the past been pretty supportive and understanding
What should I say
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 220
I think I would let them know that AH is in jail for assault and that you and your kids will be taking some space for the next couple of months to take care of yourselves and focus on healing. I would not discuss it beyond that.
If they are understanding and supportive, they will definitely be understanding and supportive of the need for you and your children to take time.
Your family does not need additional pressure right now.
Hugs.
If they are understanding and supportive, they will definitely be understanding and supportive of the need for you and your children to take time.
Your family does not need additional pressure right now.
Hugs.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I agree you should let them know, as matter-of-factly as you can, what's going on. I'd suggest you not give them details--you can tell them you are getting good emotional support and will take care of yourself and your kids.
Don't go through the details of what happened. You might be tempted to minimize it for their sake, and the next thing you know they are being called as defense witnesses at trial to say that you told them something different from what you told the police. Don't talk about what happened with ANY of his family and friends. If they say, "But he told me x, y, z is what happened," you can say, "That isn't accurate, but I don't care to discuss it." Period.
Don't go through the details of what happened. You might be tempted to minimize it for their sake, and the next thing you know they are being called as defense witnesses at trial to say that you told them something different from what you told the police. Don't talk about what happened with ANY of his family and friends. If they say, "But he told me x, y, z is what happened," you can say, "That isn't accurate, but I don't care to discuss it." Period.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
Keep it limited with only the bare facts without dotting the I's and crossing the t's with ANY details. Do exactly like Bunnynest said and don't open yourself up to them trying to "help" you in any way. I don't care how "understanding" they are. He will soon tap into them if he knows they're imbedded.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 982
Thanks 
We exchanged several texts. I was as to the point as I could be... She asks a lot of questipns though, so hopfully i didnt say too much..
They didn't even know that he had not been staying with me.
No reason they couldn't still come, no.
We exchanged several texts. I was as to the point as I could be... She asks a lot of questipns though, so hopfully i didnt say too much..
They didn't even know that he had not been staying with me.
No reason they couldn't still come, no.
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