inthelight

I divorced my AH 6 months ago after 15 years of marriage due to the constant barrage of crisis situations. He tells me over and over how much he loves me and our children but I can't get passed all the hurts.....an affair, pitting his family against me, constant lying, 2 DWI's, etc., think of it and it has probably happened. He moved in with his mother and she has once again enabled him. I feel as though I'm going crazy.....I really don't think I am co-dependent based on the fact that I don't fit the "profile". Should I continue to take his phone calls and listen to his nonsense or just cut it off completely? I know my ex is a good person, and he says he attends AA but I don't think it works for him since about every 3-4 weeks he calls me after he has been drinking. I know I can't be the only sucker out there dealing with this type of situation. Thanks for letting me share.

Gwenyth

I wish I could give you some valuable advice that would make your situation easier - though you are definitely NOT a sucker. Since you have made the decision to get away from your AH, the question pops in my mind - would you tolerate his behavior from anyone else in your life (ex. a new boyfriend?). It doesn't seem like his calling you makes you feel any better or helps you in anyway. Only you can decide to whether or not to take his calls, but from what you say, I don't see that you have benefitted in any way from talking to him.

inthelight

Thanks for your response.....I know for a fact that I would not accept like behavior from anyone else...especially a new boyfriend! This is why I feel like a crazy person half the time for even listening to him and taking his phone calls. :scared1:

jojo

Inthelight -

I left my husband last April after his drinking caused too much pain and damage. I left the state which has been helpful to me. After spending a month in jail for breaking his probation on a DUI he eventually sought treatment and is now in a half way house and working again. He calls me about twice a week. He is sober and working hard on his program. There are times that I wish he wouldn't call so much but I don't have the heart to tell him to stop. Talking to me seems to help him and I am glad to hear that he has come so far. I'm thinking that as he continues to build a new life that the calls will lessen and eventually stop. If he were drinking though I would not talk to him. If I wanted to listen to a drunk, I would not have left him. You need to do what you need to do for your own peace of mind. You do not owe it to him to listen to his crap. Take care of yourself and let him deal with his own problems.

Hugs, Jo