Rough Week
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Rough Week
Since my last posts(Last Straw), things have been very tough in my house. My ah has been very nasty and rude.
His lastest was telling me I'm doing a horrible job in our new business, and I'm not qualified for the job. Also told me again I was unstable, and I don't spend enough time at work. This was supposed to be a part time job for me, doing the financial stuff. Sometimes, I actually work on it at home.
His uncle is coming up tomm., he is helping us financially. He asked me to get some numbers together for him which I did. Then my ah says he's not coming up to talk about the numbers he has a different agenda. Stupid me asked what that might be?? My ah stated you will be very surprised. The uncle is very aware of his alcohol abuse. Then I told my ah that I was an owner of the business, was doing a good job, I'm still learning. He then went on he won't work with me, and he has a plan that will shock his uncle and myself tomm.
The verbal diarrhea just continued, I don't love you, it's bordering hate.
Then I was in the kitchen, he came into the dining room and said, oh my the way, the biggest mistake of my life was marrying myou. My ah said as far as he is concerned we are only aquaintences.
Well he went to work. I came to work later in the day. I informed him, we need a new furnace, that I went and paid half . Since we're all aquaintences he will have to pay the other half. Also I have been paying all our bills, because the business is new and he's not getting a check right now. Informed my ah that since we're just aquaintences , he will be paying half the bills.
I asked him to move out, he refused. I told him, I will move when I am able to buy a home as comfortable as the one I'm in.
He's thank goodness, going down this weekend to see his sister and mother, staying overnight. His sister is thrilled he's leaving me, she's been trying to put a wedge between us for years. His mother gas dementia. I took care of her for 2 1/2 yrs. Funny, she remembers me, but not her daughter that she's living with.
I'm very sad that he's throwing away the great life he once had with me. There is no turning back for me now! I'm done. I said to him this morning, if you don't want to be with me that's ok, what's not ok is the hurtful hateful words and things you are saying. Not necessary.
I made plans to go to Florida for 2 weeks to visit my brother. I have another appt with a lawyer on Monday. Want to be sure when I come back I can get in to my house. When he figures out how he's going to buy me out of the business and our home, then I'll be moving. This weekend will be peaceful, my ah will be gone.
Someone on this forum told me I'll start to think clearer and make a good decision. Don't know how it happened but I'm at that place!! Maybe hearing from him that he didn't love me, hated me, and biggest mistake he made was marrying me was the trigger I needed. It doesn't matter to me if he meant it or not , it showed a disrespect that I will not live with!!
Thank you all for listening, just needed to say it out loud
His lastest was telling me I'm doing a horrible job in our new business, and I'm not qualified for the job. Also told me again I was unstable, and I don't spend enough time at work. This was supposed to be a part time job for me, doing the financial stuff. Sometimes, I actually work on it at home.
His uncle is coming up tomm., he is helping us financially. He asked me to get some numbers together for him which I did. Then my ah says he's not coming up to talk about the numbers he has a different agenda. Stupid me asked what that might be?? My ah stated you will be very surprised. The uncle is very aware of his alcohol abuse. Then I told my ah that I was an owner of the business, was doing a good job, I'm still learning. He then went on he won't work with me, and he has a plan that will shock his uncle and myself tomm.
The verbal diarrhea just continued, I don't love you, it's bordering hate.
Then I was in the kitchen, he came into the dining room and said, oh my the way, the biggest mistake of my life was marrying myou. My ah said as far as he is concerned we are only aquaintences.
Well he went to work. I came to work later in the day. I informed him, we need a new furnace, that I went and paid half . Since we're all aquaintences he will have to pay the other half. Also I have been paying all our bills, because the business is new and he's not getting a check right now. Informed my ah that since we're just aquaintences , he will be paying half the bills.
I asked him to move out, he refused. I told him, I will move when I am able to buy a home as comfortable as the one I'm in.
He's thank goodness, going down this weekend to see his sister and mother, staying overnight. His sister is thrilled he's leaving me, she's been trying to put a wedge between us for years. His mother gas dementia. I took care of her for 2 1/2 yrs. Funny, she remembers me, but not her daughter that she's living with.
I'm very sad that he's throwing away the great life he once had with me. There is no turning back for me now! I'm done. I said to him this morning, if you don't want to be with me that's ok, what's not ok is the hurtful hateful words and things you are saying. Not necessary.
I made plans to go to Florida for 2 weeks to visit my brother. I have another appt with a lawyer on Monday. Want to be sure when I come back I can get in to my house. When he figures out how he's going to buy me out of the business and our home, then I'll be moving. This weekend will be peaceful, my ah will be gone.
Someone on this forum told me I'll start to think clearer and make a good decision. Don't know how it happened but I'm at that place!! Maybe hearing from him that he didn't love me, hated me, and biggest mistake he made was marrying me was the trigger I needed. It doesn't matter to me if he meant it or not , it showed a disrespect that I will not live with!!
Thank you all for listening, just needed to say it out loud
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
I've heard the same things, friend-and I continued living in it for years. I got all the sweet tearful apologies and then more drunken rages. I got out. My ex was the same way with momma and sister-total dysfunction and driving a wedge until the very end. Fine by me-they can have him! Prob fuels their Codie desires and fantasies anyway!
Anyway, friend-glad you are here. It sounds like you put your foot down on what is appropriate in YOUR life-good for you! Please keep coming back and posting!
Anyway, friend-glad you are here. It sounds like you put your foot down on what is appropriate in YOUR life-good for you! Please keep coming back and posting!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
You could be living with this "acquaintance" for a very long time, waiting for him to get around to buying you out.
When you talk to the lawyer, see about an interim (pendente lite) order giving you temporary possession of the house. That's one possibility, your lawyer may have other ideas/suggestions. I'd rather live in cramped quarters in my own peaceful space than have to share living space with someone ugly and hateful every day. It won't be forever--eventually the house will be sold or awarded to one of you in an equitable fashion. Think about it.
When you talk to the lawyer, see about an interim (pendente lite) order giving you temporary possession of the house. That's one possibility, your lawyer may have other ideas/suggestions. I'd rather live in cramped quarters in my own peaceful space than have to share living space with someone ugly and hateful every day. It won't be forever--eventually the house will be sold or awarded to one of you in an equitable fashion. Think about it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
I am really sorry you are going through all that, but the good news is that you can see clearly now, that a verbal diarrhea is a verbal diarrhea. That is a great advantage. And once they see they cannot manipulate you anymore, they get into that hateful, I-do-not-love-you-anymore, mode. Do not take it seriously. It is just babbling of a two-year-old trapped in an adult's body. Do what you have to do.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: My Happy Place
Posts: 700
You said u won't move until you find a place as comfortable as you have now?
I get what you mean, but I wouldn't find living with his verbal abuse and ridiculous insults "comfy"
You sound like the money maker honey, go now.
I get what you mean, but I wouldn't find living with his verbal abuse and ridiculous insults "comfy"
You sound like the money maker honey, go now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
AH is Gone for the Weekend
I actually am relieved!!! My ah just left to go visit his sister and mother for the weekend.
The uncle we were supposed to have a meeting with today( see rough week post), he told me last night he has no reason to meet with him. Told me to call and cancel!!! My ah states you can talk and meet with him!!! I told him, he's his uncle and he needs to be there to discuss the business. The uncle is driving 3 hrs each way to help us. I called him, and told him, and he spoke with my ah. Not sure what was said. Frankly don't care, but a total lack of respect was shown for his uncle.
As for my dog, he didn't take her, last night my ah stated he was going to let me have both of my dogs!!! He just took the other dog which was my mother- in-law's dog, tha that she is no longer capable to take care of. Funny, my ah told my his sister not to get the dog for mom, but she did, and the sister won't allow the dog to live in the house with them. I had my mom- in-law living here for 2 1/2 years, and we had to accept the additional dog.
If seems everything he ranted about never happened!!! What a surprise. Last night my ah was so angry. I told him your getting exactly what you want. We are getting a divorce. I stated its not necessary to me hurtful and hateful.
My ah then told me I was going to meet a hot shot this week, and will be shocked. I told him I don't know any hot shots?? Wasn't sure what he meant. Now I'm thinking maybe he's serving me with divorce papers.
Also last night he said there's no way your living in this house till you find a new one, we'll be surprised again next week!!
Surprisingly, I'm not even concerned or upset!! Everything my ah has said has been garbage. If it's true, I wasn't going to stay with him anyway. And I find it hard to believe that a judge would kick a person out of there home when their the one who's been paying for it!!
The only thing I'm disappointed with is the meeting with the uncle isn't going to happen. His uncle has dealt with family with the disease, so I was hoping he could start to help him.
I'm very happy I'm going to have a peaceful home this weekend. It is going to be a taste of what I'm going to have to look forward too.
I must have my mom, who passed a few months ago, looking after me, because I couldn't see things this clearly a few days ago.
Thank you for all the support.
The uncle we were supposed to have a meeting with today( see rough week post), he told me last night he has no reason to meet with him. Told me to call and cancel!!! My ah states you can talk and meet with him!!! I told him, he's his uncle and he needs to be there to discuss the business. The uncle is driving 3 hrs each way to help us. I called him, and told him, and he spoke with my ah. Not sure what was said. Frankly don't care, but a total lack of respect was shown for his uncle.
As for my dog, he didn't take her, last night my ah stated he was going to let me have both of my dogs!!! He just took the other dog which was my mother- in-law's dog, tha that she is no longer capable to take care of. Funny, my ah told my his sister not to get the dog for mom, but she did, and the sister won't allow the dog to live in the house with them. I had my mom- in-law living here for 2 1/2 years, and we had to accept the additional dog.
If seems everything he ranted about never happened!!! What a surprise. Last night my ah was so angry. I told him your getting exactly what you want. We are getting a divorce. I stated its not necessary to me hurtful and hateful.
My ah then told me I was going to meet a hot shot this week, and will be shocked. I told him I don't know any hot shots?? Wasn't sure what he meant. Now I'm thinking maybe he's serving me with divorce papers.
Also last night he said there's no way your living in this house till you find a new one, we'll be surprised again next week!!
Surprisingly, I'm not even concerned or upset!! Everything my ah has said has been garbage. If it's true, I wasn't going to stay with him anyway. And I find it hard to believe that a judge would kick a person out of there home when their the one who's been paying for it!!
The only thing I'm disappointed with is the meeting with the uncle isn't going to happen. His uncle has dealt with family with the disease, so I was hoping he could start to help him.
I'm very happy I'm going to have a peaceful home this weekend. It is going to be a taste of what I'm going to have to look forward too.
I must have my mom, who passed a few months ago, looking after me, because I couldn't see things this clearly a few days ago.
Thank you for all the support.
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