cricket123

AH I think went and got son from his sisters this morning. Son came home took shower and is now headed to the court house to fill out papers for emancipation. Says it will be done in a month. I think it will take a lot longer than what he is thinking. In the mean time I have set up an appointment with a counselor for him but I can't get him in until the middle of September.

I have to say this just to get it off my chest. I did not want a divorce, yes I filed, I did not want to be in hiding on my days off, due to AHs nastiness and I did not want my kids to suffer. I asked him(AH) several times if he would work things out with me and was ignored. Of course he's the one who told me in February that he could no longer tolorate me and would not do anything to work it out.

So now I am the villain. Looking forward to the day when my kids realize what exactly is going on.

ladyscribbler

Maybe I'm missing something, but it sounds like your stbx is instigating this whole emancipation thing just to avoid paying you child support. Am I off base? Whatever's going on, I'm really sorry you're experiencing this. I think the truth will come out sooner rather than later. Sending hugs and strength your way.

dandylion

Cricket----I believe you that you did not want all of this in your life. Who, on the day they get married, say: "I hope that my husband will practice active alcoholism, and that I will become miserable and my children will suffer in the process...and that it will, ultimtely end in divorce". NO one.

I get the feeling that you feel that a lot of blame is being heaped on your shoulders....by your husband and kids. I wonder if you suffer from a lot of feelings of shame....and guilt...and low self esteem feelings because of it.
You have asked several times: "Am I the villan?"
Those of us who have been scapegoated in our lives...or past...often feel this way, I think.

Honestly...I have not followed the details of your family dynamics from the beginning...so there is a lot that I don't know....but, I do get it that you have been living under difficult circumstances for a long while.....

I think you have to just keep doing the next right thing....as you seem to be doing, now.
Things often seem "worse" before they get better.

dandylion

cricket123

Omg I think you are so right. I am so pissed he is using my son like this. I just found out that he took my son down there. Wow stbxah is dumber than I thought.

This is going to look so bad for him.

I was busy and son said he was heading x said he was heading in a different direction and I look out when I got done doing what I was doing and only the x's car is gone. I'm so pissed

Hog tying mama bear so I don't look bad.

ladyscribbler

What an absolute creep. I am so sorry for your son right now. I know you didn't want this divorce, but maybe the universe is handing you a strangely wrapped gift. Freedom from a very sick man.

cricket123

Yeah that's the problem he is very sick and I'm (and my counselor) the only one that knows how sick. If I could I would send him to a boot camp, behavior modification, detox all in one. I feel very sorry for him. He is losing everything one by one and he's always had the power to do right. Possessed

FindingMe2

That's a lot of effort for your husband to through since your son is 17 1/2. Were you seeking child support until he was 21?

In my state, there are several requirements to meet before a minor can get emancipated. Have you looked at the requirements in your state?

cricket123

Just until he graduates next June. Yes it will not be as easy as he thinks. Says a month it will be done but no job no apt no way to pay for food. Grrr I'm sure the judge will see through this. He's a good kid just needs an absent dad right now so I can get him back on track