Wisconsin

Well, so much for my plans to keep the news of the move under wraps for a couple of weeks.

Big blowup at home last night, during which AH declares that he does not want our son to "turn out like" me. Dear friends, something snapped in my mind after that one. I have become so good at just ignoring all of the verbal abuse, but that was a new one, and it caught me off guard. I informed him that I am moving out on September 1.

The news did not go over well. Shocking, I know.

I got all the usual stuff. How dare I leave him after everything he has done for me! I can't possibly make it on my own! How will our son EAT?!? His drinking has absolutely nothing to do with the demise of our marriage! Quackity quack quack quack. Quacktacular quackiness!

So, my original plan to move a few things under the radar between September 1-4 is out. I'm taking a vacation day on September 1, which is a Tuesday, and getting everything out then as quickly as I can.

It's going to be a loooong four weeks.

theuncertainty

Well... now you don't have to try to pack surreptitiously....? I'm sorry, WI. I'm glad you see his rant as quacking and aren't taking it to heart. ((((hugs))))

Pia

I second what theuncertainty stated.

I try to remember before I respond to anything STBXAH says or does is that he is a sick person right now and it is not about him anymore. This really helps me with detachment and keeping the focus on me.

Becareful with moving out and get ready for more fireworks!

FireSprite

I wish I had a big, empathetic reply but I can't stop laughing over:

With all the insanely important issues you COULD be talking about.....

Stay strong Wisconsin, the finish line is in sight!!!

Wisconsin

Thanks all! For better or for worse, this is NOT my first rodeo with all of this blame-deflecting and guilt projection. I don't buy into one single word of his quacking. And yes, FS...I was also practically howling with laughter on the inside at that particular line. It reminded me of the pearl-clutching-mother cliche "won't SOMEBODY think of the CHILDREN?!?"

FireSprite

HILARIOUS!

firebolt

Bahahaa - really?!

You've basically made it on your own the entire time he's been drinking...except with this huge annoying, smelly drunken brick wall in your way. (I should know - I live with one too.)

My dear, 'on your own' is going to be a friggin cake - walk!
HUGS - and a speedy August to you!

lizatola

Hugs to you! If your A is anything like mine, it will not be a bed of roses but it will be worth it! Good luck and please let me know if you need anything!

Liveitwell

Fire bolt-I couldn't have said it better. My ex threatened me with : "you'll just end up a single mom" (well, duh-I knew that for a while-you're an alcoholic who's not going to stop drinking-I've basically been a single mom for years already) and "nobody's taking my kids away from me" to "after all I've done for you...". Vomit. Really dude? Grow up, GROW UP!!!!
You'll be so much better off-the grass is truly greener on the other side of life with an addict. I'm living proof. Peace to you

Yurt

Wow! I couldn't have lived with XAH for that long after telling him my intentions. I had to endure it for only one week, and that was awful.
Keep Strong!

Refiner

Oh gosh I'm so happy but also scared for you at the same time!!! He will most likely amp it up now. Your FINISH line to freedom from his abuse is within sight!!!

PohsFriend

I can't say it is true EVERYWHERE but in most areas if you are worried about conflict when you leave the local police are very good about dropping by if you request it just to make sure you get your stuff and get out. They aren't gonna wait for 8 hours while movers go to work but if you can go fast they would rather respond to a request to make sure nothing happens than a request to document what happened. Silly as it sounds I did this once just to be safe. Tape recorder is a real good idea too right now for two reasons - tapes remember better than drunks and it is a self-check. Keeps you from saying what you want to say and helps you be civil and appropriate. There is nothing that sounds worse later than one person being very calm and reasonable while another drunk one rants and raves.

Sorry you are going through this and wish you peace and serenity.

Liveitwell

Sending you hugs today....

knowthetriggers

I think my response would have been "With a fork".....
I'm just saying...

You got this Wisconsin!

hopeful4

[QUOTE=Wisconsin;5496699]
Quackity quack quack quack. Quacktacular quackiness!
QUOTE]

Oh well....now you don't have the dread of having to hide it. Now....all serious things aside, Quacktacular Quackiness...that is my favorite so far!!!

You can do this. I know it seems like Sep will never get here, but it will and you will absolutely be free of his BS finally!!!!!

Hugs to you my friend!

MsPINKAcres

Geaux Wisconsin!!

Hate that you will have to stay in this a few weeks but compared to freedom for a lifetime - it will pass fast enough ~

My thoughts on the how will he eat?? "well, if he forgets we will find a youtube video to help him" <-- but that's not "recovery", that's my sarcastic nature I still struggle with often. Progress not Perfection right???

Remember when he tries to make it quackably miserable for you - This too shall pass & then you can happy dance forever!

PINK HUGS