Afraid of Abuse? Have a Plan.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Star's Hollow
Posts: 615
Afraid of Abuse? Have a Plan.
I read an article in O Magazine which included this list of steps to take if you are concerned about possible abuse or are suffering abuse. It is always possible for an alcoholic to become physically abusive. Please have a safety plan. Better safe than sorry.
- Never tell an abuser you are leaving him - that's when things can escalate.
- Make copies of key documents such as your birth certificate, marriage license and insurance policies - keep them outside the house.
- Note bank account numbers and Social Security numbers (for spouse and children) - keep them outside the house.
- Get a set of duplicate keys for home and cars - keep them outside the house.
- Put some money in a safe place (not in a purse or drawer).
- If you phone a lawyer, shelter, hotline or service agency, hang up and immediately dial another number so your partner can't use *69 or redial to trace the call.
- If you have caller ID, make sure to erase all incoming numbers that could tip him off.
- Cover your tracks on your computer by deleting "Cookies" (go to the Help box once you are online, click on Index and find Cookies for instructions)
- To clear recently visited websites, clear your history and empty your Cache files - again, go to Help option for details.
- Establish a code to alert friends, family or neighbors if you're in danger. Call and let the phone ring once and hang up, pull a shade half-way down, etc.
- Join a support group which can help relieve the isolation and lend some perspective.
National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-SAFE
- Never tell an abuser you are leaving him - that's when things can escalate.
- Make copies of key documents such as your birth certificate, marriage license and insurance policies - keep them outside the house.
- Note bank account numbers and Social Security numbers (for spouse and children) - keep them outside the house.
- Get a set of duplicate keys for home and cars - keep them outside the house.
- Put some money in a safe place (not in a purse or drawer).
- If you phone a lawyer, shelter, hotline or service agency, hang up and immediately dial another number so your partner can't use *69 or redial to trace the call.
- If you have caller ID, make sure to erase all incoming numbers that could tip him off.
- Cover your tracks on your computer by deleting "Cookies" (go to the Help box once you are online, click on Index and find Cookies for instructions)
- To clear recently visited websites, clear your history and empty your Cache files - again, go to Help option for details.
- Establish a code to alert friends, family or neighbors if you're in danger. Call and let the phone ring once and hang up, pull a shade half-way down, etc.
- Join a support group which can help relieve the isolation and lend some perspective.
National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-SAFE
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
Thanks. It really is so very important to have a plan. It's also important to have a trusted friend who knows you have a plan as well.
I found I was empowered a bit JUST having the plan, even if I never had to use it. It took away much of the overwhelming fear of the unknown.
Hugs and love
Barb
I found I was empowered a bit JUST having the plan, even if I never had to use it. It took away much of the overwhelming fear of the unknown.
Hugs and love
Barb
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