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Manipulation

Old 06-04-2015, 04:01 AM
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Manipulation

So my ex reached out the other day; we ended up having a conversation that didn't go so well. It was via text. He was drunk; for the first time in 3 months I ended up telling him how I was so hurt that he left me and was so cruel about it. This was such a bad idea. We exchanged not so good texts; I was cordial but expressed my thoughts. He was verbally abusive.. It didn't go well. He is supposed to pay me alimony until August. He began to blow up my phone this am from 1:00 to 6:00 am with all kinds of cruel texts. He told me that he isn't paying me a dime even though he owes me for 2 more months. All because I let him know he hurt me. It's so pathetic; he is truly a monster; and now I feel I have totally screwed my finances up. Ughhh
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Old 06-04-2015, 04:33 AM
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Ok. Why did you think you were going to engage in a sensible conversation with a drunk? Keep the text. Bring them to your lawyer. Don't worry about his money right now. Take this opportunity to grab hold of your finances so you can support yourself. Are you getting help for yourself? Please do. This man is sick. Stop exposing yourself to his poison. IF you have to talk to him, it's ONLY when he is sober and ONLY about the divorce and most of that should be done by your attorney.
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Old 06-04-2015, 04:53 AM
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Originally Posted by iGirl66 View Post
Ok. Why did you think you were going to engage in a sensible conversation with a drunk? Keep the text. Bring them to your lawyer. Don't worry about his money right now. Take this opportunity to grab hold of your finances so you can support yourself. Are you getting help for yourself? Please do. This man is sick. Stop exposing yourself to his poison. IF you have to talk to him, it's ONLY when he is sober and ONLY about the divorce and most of that should be done by your attorney.
Ok- I knew it was wrong when I did it; it was just a very bad moment and i slipped up; he is sick. So sick. I feel the venom through the phone.

I will contact an attorney today. Can he get in trouble for the texts?
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Old 06-04-2015, 05:07 AM
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abitconfused.....it can be easy to "forget" how truly sick and messed up their thinking is when you are still so hurt and grieving.
We tend to want to treat them like normal, healthy people.....LOL!!

Let be a reminder that trying to communicate with a drunk person is a total waste of your breath and time.....

Absolutely....you should be talking with an attorney.....
(I don't know about the texts.....maybe, ask the attorney.....

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Old 06-04-2015, 06:40 AM
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If you don't have a protective order against him (something you might be able to get, if you want one), then he won't "get in trouble" over the texts unless you report them to the police. Do let your lawyer know about them in the event he does refuse to pay--they might help to prove his failure to pay was willful, and not due to a lack of ability to pay.

And yes, never expect empathy or a reasonable conversation with an alcoholic who is drinking.
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Old 06-07-2015, 06:41 AM
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Thank you all for your responses; that interaction I had with him completely threw me off of my recovery. It has taken me 3 days to get back feeling ok again. I have never encountered anything like him before in my life and it throws my entire psyche out of balance. He is truly a narcissist. I have retreated all weekend to the walls of my small apartment and not wanting to face the world to gain my momentum back. That's how bad he can attack my soul.
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