The Language of Letting Go, May 24
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The Language of Letting Go, May 24
May 24
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Letting the Cycles Flow
Life is cyclical, not static. Our relationships benefit when we allow them to follow their own natural cycles.
Like the tide ebbs and flows, so do the cycles in relationships. We have periods of closeness and periods of distance. We have times of coming together and times of separating to work on individual issues.
We have times of love and joy and times of anger.
Sometimes the dimensions of relationships change as we go through changes. Sometimes life brings us new friends or a new loved one to teach us the next lesson.
That does not mean the old friend disappears forever. It means we have entered a new cycle.
We do not have to control the course of our relationships, whether these be friendships or love relationships. We do not have to satisfy our need to control by imposing a static form on relationships.
Let it flow. Be open to the cycles. Love will not disappear. The bond between friends will not sever. Things do not remain the same forever, especially when we are growing and changing at such a rapid pace.
Trust the flow. Take care of yourself, but be willing to let people go. Hanging on to them too tightly will make them disappear.
The old adage about love still holds true: If it's meant to be, it will be. And if you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, the love is yours.
Today, I accept the cyclical nature of life and relationships. I will strive to go with the flow. I will strive for harmony with my own needs and the needs of the other person.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
images
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Letting the Cycles Flow
Life is cyclical, not static. Our relationships benefit when we allow them to follow their own natural cycles.
Like the tide ebbs and flows, so do the cycles in relationships. We have periods of closeness and periods of distance. We have times of coming together and times of separating to work on individual issues.
We have times of love and joy and times of anger.
Sometimes the dimensions of relationships change as we go through changes. Sometimes life brings us new friends or a new loved one to teach us the next lesson.
That does not mean the old friend disappears forever. It means we have entered a new cycle.
We do not have to control the course of our relationships, whether these be friendships or love relationships. We do not have to satisfy our need to control by imposing a static form on relationships.
Let it flow. Be open to the cycles. Love will not disappear. The bond between friends will not sever. Things do not remain the same forever, especially when we are growing and changing at such a rapid pace.
Trust the flow. Take care of yourself, but be willing to let people go. Hanging on to them too tightly will make them disappear.
The old adage about love still holds true: If it's meant to be, it will be. And if you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, the love is yours.
Today, I accept the cyclical nature of life and relationships. I will strive to go with the flow. I will strive for harmony with my own needs and the needs of the other person.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
images
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Along with today's post, I wanted to include this:
A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime
I believe I first encountered this "Reason, Season or Lifetime" piece here on SR, and it really struck me. I'd always felt that "real" friends, much like "real" anything, were forever. It never occurred to me that as I changed and grew and learned, the situations and people around me would change, too. I always regarded anything that didn't last forever as a failure on my part. Now I'm beginning to understand that it's OK to let go of what no longer fits.
Not only is it OK, it's the kindest and best thing to do for everyone concerned. In the past, I always felt I was "abandoning" or "leaving behind", but now I realize just how egotistical that way of thinking is. I am beginning to see how it lifts a weight off the other person, the same way it lifts that weight off me, when I let go and allow life to move both of us forward in whatever direction is right at that time.
A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime
I believe I first encountered this "Reason, Season or Lifetime" piece here on SR, and it really struck me. I'd always felt that "real" friends, much like "real" anything, were forever. It never occurred to me that as I changed and grew and learned, the situations and people around me would change, too. I always regarded anything that didn't last forever as a failure on my part. Now I'm beginning to understand that it's OK to let go of what no longer fits.
Not only is it OK, it's the kindest and best thing to do for everyone concerned. In the past, I always felt I was "abandoning" or "leaving behind", but now I realize just how egotistical that way of thinking is. I am beginning to see how it lifts a weight off the other person, the same way it lifts that weight off me, when I let go and allow life to move both of us forward in whatever direction is right at that time.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Chicago, Il
Posts: 123
This one is so so hard for me because I feel like when I went no contact with my exabf it felt like it was a death of a relationship! For me. it is still so hard to let go completely of someone you love, even though it is what's best and even though the relationship was hurtful!
Painting through the pain
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Los Osos, CA
Posts: 2
This is the post that got me to join yesterday, because I have been searching for a way to explain my "madness"...and it's a relief to know I am not alone. I broke up with my AB in January. Because of our work/living situation, our proximity led us back into a sticky kind of limbo relationship. Two weeks ago, I finally moved 800 miles away, yet still remain in contact via texts and occasional phone calls. I, too, am having a really difficult time letting him go, though the distance is giving me perspective and I can actually think about letting go. I'm not ready to do it yet, is that an excuse, or does it really take time?
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
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Glad you decided to join us here at SR, artistgrrl--there is a lot of support and a lot of learning and growing going on here. I hope you find what you're looking for.
There is no "right" timeline for us. Our own recovery can follow as many different paths as there are people. Only you will know what you are ready to do, and when you are ready to do it. Folks here can do a heck of a lot in helping you figure those things out for yourself but ultimately it's your life and you have the final say.
Again, welcome--I look forward to reading more of your posts.
There is no "right" timeline for us. Our own recovery can follow as many different paths as there are people. Only you will know what you are ready to do, and when you are ready to do it. Folks here can do a heck of a lot in helping you figure those things out for yourself but ultimately it's your life and you have the final say.
Again, welcome--I look forward to reading more of your posts.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Chicago, Il
Posts: 123
welcome artistgrrl! You will find so much help,wisdom, support and strength here! I like you held onto a relationship and then friendship with my exabf on my own time line until I finally found the clarity and strength that I needed. You are in the right place on your path to recovery and figuring out your relationship. Welcome again and lots of hugs!
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