EmmyG

Hi All,

I haven't been on for awhile. My life has been suprisingly calm. AH and I are still living apart, and life is really peaceful right now. The only thing really stressing me out is my work commute. As far as AH goes, he hasn't been drinking and has been working on himself and being healthy, and things between us have been very civil/friendly. We aren't arguing at all, and co-parenting is going well. The boys are doing great, and my 7-year-old is excelling at school and happy.

On Monday nights, AH travels for work. Since I work Tuesdays the boys and I usually sleep at my parents' house and they take my older son to school in the morning and watch my 4-year-old until I get home. Last night, my 7-year-old watched a movie with my parents and asked if he could sleep with them. I said it was ok. Early this morning, I carried my 4-year-old to bed with them so that he wouldn't wake up alone. To my suprise, my dad is in bed with NO UNDERWEAR on. I was completely shocked (my father was always very modest about that kind of stuff growing up and never even walked around without a shirt on around us.) I threw a blanket over him and left for work, fuming and freaked out.

I texted my mom a bit ago and said "So, dad was naked this morning." She responded with "LOL. I'll have to remind him. That must be where (my 4-year-old) gets it."

How does she not see this as wildly inappropriate? I'm not suggesting anything untoward at all, but I can't really think of a logical explanation of why my dad would need to sleep naked. I know he takes sleep meds at night and can sometimes be kind out of out of it, but WHY ON EARTH would he think its ok to sleep naked with his grandchild in the bed? I haven't told my husband yet, but I told my sister. She said if she tells her husband, he will lose it and never let their daughter sleep there again.

Am I overreacting?

ladyscribbler

If this is new behavior and out of character for him, I'm wondering about your dad's age. This type of inappropriate behavior can actually be a sign of declining cognitive function, and possibly dementia. Especially if he's always been modest before.
IME, abusers are always very careful about covering their tracks, which is how they get away with it for years.
Have you noticed any other signs of behavior changes in your dad? Is he using language he didn't used to or having memory blips?
Proceed with caution either way, and maybe have a sit down talk with your mom, not texting but face to face, about your concerns. See if she's noticed anything different with him recently or over the past few months.

firebolt

Yeah, I'm with ladyscribbler if it is new / odd behavior for him.

That being said - they are from a different time. I remember having a slumber party with a neighbor girl (we were 7 ish), and we slept on the couch hide-a-bed. We woke up at 5 am to my 300 pound dad making pancakes in the kitchen in ONLY his whitey-tighties singing in a very high pitched voice "In the jungle, the mighty jungle the li-on sleeps tonight".


Yeah...neighbor girl and I are still friends, and still laugh about it, and still talk about how much we love my dad because of things like that. Today, he would be arrested.

Duckygirl1

My dad had episodes of dementia in his final year. He'd call people different names, thought someone stole a car that had been gone for decades and kept trying to walk out of the door in his skivvies thinking that he was going to a job he retired from 25 years before. It starts small with little things barely noticeable that you dismiss. If this is new behavior mention it.

That said, maybe no sleep in with the kids until you can figure it out. They shouldn't be sleeping with nudie gramps. It's about body privacy.