Screwed up thinking.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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I feel better. I spoke to him yesterday - we talked about the fact that since we separated we haven't spent enough time apart, and starting today we are doing that. I need distance if I want to experience real change. We have been using the excuse that it's good to be around each other for the kids, but at the end of the day, we are SEPARATED. He said that he takes the blame for 100% of the dysfunction in our marriage and that he handled everything wrong. I don't think he's ever said that before. He also said that if we do get divorced, as much as he hates the thought of me moving on and someday being with someone else, he just wants me to be happy and he will have to accept it and move forward. And he said we can never go back to our old life no matter what, because it was bad for the kids and we can't ruin their lives. I feel pretty good, I feel like separating was the best thing we could have done. It will work out the way it's supposed to. Things are so much better now than they were a year ago. Our kids are happier, we both see that. We aren't arguing and I'm not stressing about his actions. Now, I just need to limit contact, quit worrying about him, focus on myself and my boys and keep moving forward.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
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Originally Posted by EmmyG 
I feel better. I spoke to him yesterday - we talked about the fact that since we separated we haven't spent enough time apart, and starting today we are doing that. I need distance if I want to experience real change. We have been using the excuse that it's good to be around each other for the kids, but at the end of the day, we are SEPARATED. He said that he takes the blame for 100% of the dysfunction in our marriage and that he handled everything wrong. I don't think he's ever said that before. He also said that if we do get divorced, as much as he hates the thought of me moving on and someday being with someone else, he just wants me to be happy and he will have to accept it and move forward. And he said we can never go back to our old life no matter what, because it was bad for the kids and we can't ruin their lives. I feel pretty good, I feel like separating was the best thing we could have done. It will work out the way it's supposed to. Things are so much better now than they were a year ago. Our kids are happier, we both see that. We aren't arguing and I'm not stressing about his actions. Now, I just need to limit contact, quit worrying about him, focus on myself and my boys and keep moving forward.
Good girl
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
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Good for you Emmy!
FYI....My kids told me later that when we separated and still would spend time together it felt weird to them. Now we can be at the same place and be civil, but we don't hang as a group, which my kids prefer.
Hugs to you.
FYI....My kids told me later that when we separated and still would spend time together it felt weird to them. Now we can be at the same place and be civil, but we don't hang as a group, which my kids prefer.
Hugs to you.
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