cricket123

Background-my daughter(age19)has additional insurance due to several heath issues. I have always taken care of her insurance, got doctors on it called for transportation issues etc, so I have an indept knowledge of how this works.

Since I left my ah he decided I should not know anything about dd's medical appointments and refused to tell me any thing, until I was just about begging him to tell me. Well he made a couple of drs appointments with doctors that are not on her additional insurance and he is having tests done on her.

I am wondering, according to detachment guidelines I should watch it unfold and let him deal with the consequences. I have no problem with this part, I'm all for it. But my 19 year old daughter is involved and the bill collectors will come after her.

So I am conflicted on what I should do. My 19 year old does not understand this sort of stuff and would not know what to do.(low IQ)

He has done this before and I took care of it by getting the doctors on her additional insurance.

So do I let things unfold or take care of it before it becomes a problem for dd ?

Rosalba

I don't know the legal implications of a case like this, but if your daughter isn't capable of grasping what her medical condition's about, will the bill collectors be coming after her? In the UK there's the Mental Capacity Act which would protect someone like her from harassment. Is she capable of giving informed consent, for example?

If your AH is using your daughter as a pawn in his games, what options ARE realistically open to you?

Duckygirl1

If she cannot understand or make her own decisions, you as parent have a right to know what's going on especially if you may have to absorb the bills. The x has no right to keep this info from you and you may be able to get a court order that all info is to be shared and provide a copy to her doctors. I had to do that

CodeJob

Hello Cricket, I don't have any advice, but just wanted you to know I'd be doing a slow rage if this were me....

I suppose if he messes up, he too could try to add the MDs he selected to this additional insurance? I would imagine, being logical and taking the high road is not going to work as he is an addict. He would not take an email with a link of authorized providers too well if at all. Perhaps detachment for his particular first time is the best? Maybe he will make a mess of it then stick it back in your hands? Maybe detachment inadvertently will help you win the war on this area where you would like some control?

cricket123

I think I will let it play out. Dd is smart enough to take some college classes with help but does not excel at it so I don't know if I could get medical power of attorney -a strong maybe. He'll tire of it in a year or two.

Been doing a slow burn over a lot of stuff