Im a total mess, prayers needed
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Javatown
Posts: 92
Eveie- How goes it today? My heart goes out to you -I used to sit locked in my bedroom of MY OWN HOUSE just to be away from the awful housemates I was trapped with at the time.
You sound like you are working hard towards relocating, keep it up!
You sound like you are working hard towards relocating, keep it up!
I've Taken My Life Back!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Montana
Posts: 106
Lucky Friday the 13th? PRAY FOR ME, PLEASE!!!
Hello Everyone, thanks so much for your kind words, prayers, pms, I love you all so very much for being there!! Well let me update whats going on.... My friend never called back about the supposed spare room in the house she is living, nor did she return my calls last night, So, Roomate took off last night, YAY, and I sat on my porch and man I was ticked at God, and I let him know!! I prayed to him, well kinda really just let him know what was on my mind really... and just asked to PLEASE just show me a path!!! I cried hard....went to my room, read a little, took my medications for the night...but ya know, that was YESTERDAY so TODAY... I awoke at 3am, drunk roomate passed out on couch, reaking stinking drunk, back to my room, shut door, awoke again at 20 til 7( he is usually gone cuz he works at 7) hes still in same place snoring, so...hee hee 
AS Loud as I could, ( couldnt hold it back..LOL) I come up on him and say,"HEY, arent you supposed to be at work??" He about jumped off the couch onto the cieling 
and just says " I will get there later" so I giggling to myself go back to my room...tee hee, sometimes ya just have to have a little fun with yourself, ya know?...rofl... NEWAYS... I hear him in there hauling @$$ to get ready and poof hes gone! Ahhh serenity! lil giggles from me...still as I write this...lol so I take my shower and haul butt downtown to my appoint at this place that is hud housing for people with disabilities and elderly, really cool old building built in 1888 and redone again in the early 1900's was a hotel til 1971 then becmae apts, WOW, what a neat place, has a little private park where you can garden, feed squirrels and birds, I about cried seeing that!!!! and get this? the rent is based on 30% of my income, and a mandatory $160.00 a month meal program (required by HUD) I get 2 meals a day, so I wouldnt have to ever buy groceries!!! Now Im just walking around stunned looking at all this, just beautiful, she shows me an apartment, just awesome, with an almost ....darn, what do they call them 3 windows together? that sit outward? cant think of it but yall know what I mean... that over looks the brand new redone Central avenue.. I was crying!! I just couldnt belive it, so we go in her office, complete this longgggg application, I called for the info she needed right from her office and my pharmist, doctor faxed everything RIGHT over, I couldnt belive it!! I hugged her, thanked her, she told me it would take 2 weeks to know anything, so man, I am just in a hurry up and wait situation now! and PRAYING AND HOPING everything goes thru, I told her about my credit, but brought along my divorce papers with me, which she took copies of and told me they take that into consideration, so, dont know what else to do!! I think I made a pretty good effort for the day to make a plan... oh..hee hee, then I took myself to lunch with $5.00 and had some quarters, and like it says in just for today? I put them in the meters along the way...oooooops I wasnt supposed to type that, never mind 
I then went on to my new Dr, the one I saw who took me on as a new patient , the one I saw at the clinic who helped me with the migraines!... Made an appoint with an optometrist who takes my insurance for new glasses next week, on to pick up my scripts, and homeward, was home a 1/2 hour when HE came in, I asked him nicely, about paying me back half the food money from weeks back, amazingly he hands over a 20 dollar bill!! WHOA! of course he hadnt had his first drink and has NO CLUE of my plan of escape...AMAZING...
Sorry this is so long, but alot of you sent me pms, and offlines, and I was gone all day, so I hope this catches everyone up... I would appreciate everyones prayers for this to all go thru, PLEASE!!!!!!!!! Thanks for all the encouraging replies!! JUST FOR TODAY I am GrATEFUL things went ok... oh one more thing? Yesterday, I donated a bunch of clothes, and when I dropped them off at Goodwill, I asked the lady there if they had any boxes, and low and behold they had a bunch, so have them stashed close by...hee hee....PRAYERS!! MORE PRAYERS!!! ok ok ok Ive made this long enough... Thanks for listening!!!
AS Loud as I could, ( couldnt hold it back..LOL) I come up on him and say,"HEY, arent you supposed to be at work??" He about jumped off the couch onto the cieling and just says " I will get there later" so I giggling to myself go back to my room...tee hee, sometimes ya just have to have a little fun with yourself, ya know?...rofl... NEWAYS... I hear him in there hauling @$$ to get ready and poof hes gone! Ahhh serenity! lil giggles from me...still as I write this...lol so I take my shower and haul butt downtown to my appoint at this place that is hud housing for people with disabilities and elderly, really cool old building built in 1888 and redone again in the early 1900's was a hotel til 1971 then becmae apts, WOW, what a neat place, has a little private park where you can garden, feed squirrels and birds, I about cried seeing that!!!! and get this? the rent is based on 30% of my income, and a mandatory $160.00 a month meal program (required by HUD) I get 2 meals a day, so I wouldnt have to ever buy groceries!!! Now Im just walking around stunned looking at all this, just beautiful, she shows me an apartment, just awesome, with an almost ....darn, what do they call them 3 windows together? that sit outward? cant think of it but yall know what I mean... that over looks the brand new redone Central avenue.. I was crying!! I just couldnt belive it, so we go in her office, complete this longgggg application, I called for the info she needed right from her office and my pharmist, doctor faxed everything RIGHT over, I couldnt belive it!! I hugged her, thanked her, she told me it would take 2 weeks to know anything, so man, I am just in a hurry up and wait situation now! and PRAYING AND HOPING everything goes thru, I told her about my credit, but brought along my divorce papers with me, which she took copies of and told me they take that into consideration, so, dont know what else to do!! I think I made a pretty good effort for the day to make a plan... oh..hee hee, then I took myself to lunch with $5.00 and had some quarters, and like it says in just for today? I put them in the meters along the way...oooooops I wasnt supposed to type that, never mind I then went on to my new Dr, the one I saw who took me on as a new patient , the one I saw at the clinic who helped me with the migraines!... Made an appoint with an optometrist who takes my insurance for new glasses next week, on to pick up my scripts, and homeward, was home a 1/2 hour when HE came in, I asked him nicely, about paying me back half the food money from weeks back, amazingly he hands over a 20 dollar bill!! WHOA! of course he hadnt had his first drink and has NO CLUE of my plan of escape...AMAZING...Sorry this is so long, but alot of you sent me pms, and offlines, and I was gone all day, so I hope this catches everyone up... I would appreciate everyones prayers for this to all go thru, PLEASE!!!!!!!!! Thanks for all the encouraging replies!! JUST FOR TODAY I am GrATEFUL things went ok... oh one more thing? Yesterday, I donated a bunch of clothes, and when I dropped them off at Goodwill, I asked the lady there if they had any boxes, and low and behold they had a bunch, so have them stashed close by...hee hee....PRAYERS!! MORE PRAYERS!!! ok ok ok Ive made this long enough... Thanks for listening!!!
I've Taken My Life Back!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Montana
Posts: 106
Originally Posted by CrazyRed
Eveie- How goes it today? My heart goes out to you -I used to sit locked in my bedroom of MY OWN HOUSE just to be away from the awful housemates I was trapped with at the time.
You sound like you are working hard towards relocating, keep it up!
You sound like you are working hard towards relocating, keep it up!
I've Taken My Life Back!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Montana
Posts: 106
Still afloat, and praying!!
HI Ya Crazy! ((((((((HUGSSSSSSS)))))))) well I guess he isnt leaving til tonight or tomorrow on the camping trip, stupid me had my tackle box on the porch for when I go fishing, havent been in a while, I went to get it last night was gonna go for a bit for sittin and thinkin, and of course, its about emptied out..arghhh! what a @$$! so just put it in my room didnt say a word... He had gotten me this bottle of Malibu rum for me,awhile back, cuz every once in a blue moon I would like that , of course he took that too, dont matter, dont care, but just lil creepy things like that, but its ok, I REFUSE TO REACT! But how nice to know what a theif, huh? Pathetic, REALLY Pathetic, but anyways, sorry had to vent that, it just pissed me off.....
I am hoping and praying for the good news, the lady I talked to at that place was going on vacation for a week, and said it takes 2 weeks to know anything, so in the meantime I hope and pray I dont get the ol heave ho out of here
so just taking it day by day, come on roomie take that camping trip!!!!!! ahhhh peace and quiet for 3 days!!! yippie, where is the happy dance emote, oh wait this works...tee hee 
... thanks again for all your prayers and support!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!
I am hoping and praying for the good news, the lady I talked to at that place was going on vacation for a week, and said it takes 2 weeks to know anything, so in the meantime I hope and pray I dont get the ol heave ho out of here
so just taking it day by day, come on roomie take that camping trip!!!!!! ahhhh peace and quiet for 3 days!!! yippie, where is the happy dance emote, oh wait this works...tee hee ... thanks again for all your prayers and support!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!
sparkling hazeleyes
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Alexandria VA
Posts: 81
Hi eveie,
I know you don't know me, but I just wanted to tell you to hang in there and I will say a special pray for you. Be good to yourself today.
God answered my prayers in a very BIG way a few days ago. Put your trust in your HP. I am really learning quickly that I need to do that more and more every day.
Hazeleyes
I know you don't know me, but I just wanted to tell you to hang in there and I will say a special pray for you. Be good to yourself today.
God answered my prayers in a very BIG way a few days ago. Put your trust in your HP. I am really learning quickly that I need to do that more and more every day.
Hazeleyes
I've Taken My Life Back!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Montana
Posts: 106
(((((( Hazeleyes))))) thanks hun!! I really really needed to hear that right now!! A weird thing happened to me last night, too. I went to my room, and have this wooden cross on my shelf, there I have a picture of my boyfriend who committed suicide last october( huge sigh) and a lil prayer book from when my grandma died. WEll I went into my room and right below the picture of my old boyfriend, there was the prayer book, opened to the prayer of hope! I just sat there crying for a good half hour! I dont know how it got there, its never fallen down before!!
It amazes me how them little things happen to point you in the direction you need. I prayed to dream of him last night, and of course, I dreamed of getting a speeding ticket...LOL.. right away I knew the meaning of the dream.... SLOW DOWN... Just thought I would share that... Thanks for you love and support,Hazeleyes... It means alot!!!
It amazes me how them little things happen to point you in the direction you need. I prayed to dream of him last night, and of course, I dreamed of getting a speeding ticket...LOL.. right away I knew the meaning of the dream.... SLOW DOWN... Just thought I would share that... Thanks for you love and support,Hazeleyes... It means alot!!!
I've Taken My Life Back!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Montana
Posts: 106
From Good to BAD again!
Hello Brothers and Sisters! I need to vent! I hope its ok, so please understand!
Here I am, thinking ahhhhhh peace and quiet, serenity, the troll is going away for 3 days camping I will have the house to myself, made some plans with to do some things, and wouldnt you know it? Hes gone ONE DAMN NIGHT! He comes pulling in, to where? OF COURSE, the serene BACK YARD that I water and nurture every day, piles his HUGE BUTT out of, pepsi cup on the ground, no thought to anything , and then here he goes, on and on and on and on and on, about the"stupid hillbillies" that ruined HIS camping trip that" wouldnt shut the hell up" and ( I found this amusing..tee hee) "the G*d Damn birds that were dive bombing me and my kid to get these huge bugs that kept eating us alive" on and on and on!!!!!!!!!!!!
the last part was amusing cuz inside my head I thought, HA even the FOREST didnt want him in it!!!!!!!!!!.... :*******: Im just so pissed off so now all my little plans of things I had planned out the window!!!!!! I had heard from an old friend, we were going to get together, I had talked to him about this situation on the phone, but I am sure the reason he didnt show last night becuase he saw the VAN here!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I guess I am just pissed off, I was told by fatboy that I would get the place to myself for 3 days, and I looked forward to it.
The only GOOD thing was after he finally shut up, he did talk civil for a bit to me, and he was telling me about how his job is worried about him, thru tears, boo hoo, and I had to say to him , that everyone was! He says he dont remember calling me the names he did, HA! I dont buy it, and ( oh this is soooooooo great!!) Ive been suspecting him taking my medications, and I find in the driveway, before he gets home, a matchbook with the remains of a capsule that matches EXACTLY to one of my medications, that was where HIS van was parked before he left! So in this conversation, I show this to him, of course he denies it, says the "wind" must of blown it there! MAN!!!!
Now if this wasnt the biggest bunch of 
I dont know what is!
So, I put my pissed off energy to work and pulled the cover off the pull, cleaned it, made a little foutain out of a water sprinkler, to calm my nerves and spirit, did some medidtation and at 2 am finally went to bed!
oh I forgot to mention ........ right before the black cloud od the troll blew back in? who call me? MY DAD! now I am an ACOA, here HE is braggin on and on and on and on how LUCKY hes been over the last month, how HE charted a plane to laughlin, won this amount of money this amount that amount, here I am trying to live off of 580 bucks a month..... so I let all the just float out my head! then he crossed the line over a picture of my daughter when he says," is your daughter getting fat?".... oooooooooooooo!!! I was like no dad, my daughter is beautiful! hes like well she looked like she was a lil chubby in her last picture.( hes always asking me if I am still fat..*******!) then it came to me... I say to him...." No dad, my daughter is very beautiful, and I would love her no matter what, even if she got as big as a HOUSE, I wouldnt care, because I LOVE her UNCONDITIONALLY, and talk to her every day online" for the first time, hes all ummm ahhh welll aaaa ummm I didnt mean to sayy.....HAHAHAHA! YAY ME! and to be honest? I wouldnt take a dime from that man, I wouldnt! Not that HE would never even offer ever anyways, I dont even get Christmas, Birthday or any cards from him ever, but I ALWAYS send him one. Funny things we go thru huh?
Ok............Breathe Eveie.... Yinnnnnnnnnnn...................Yanggggggg
oh yes I did this several times last night, thank you for meditation and Reiki!!!
thanks for letting me vent, Im STILL PRAYING for more word on the apt at that place!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE!!! Thanks for letting me vent!! Peace to you all, and most of all to my heart today!!!
LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Here I am, thinking ahhhhhh peace and quiet, serenity, the troll is going away for 3 days camping I will have the house to myself, made some plans with to do some things, and wouldnt you know it? Hes gone ONE DAMN NIGHT! He comes pulling in, to where? OF COURSE, the serene BACK YARD that I water and nurture every day, piles his HUGE BUTT out of, pepsi cup on the ground, no thought to anything , and then here he goes, on and on and on and on and on, about the"stupid hillbillies" that ruined HIS camping trip that" wouldnt shut the hell up" and ( I found this amusing..tee hee) "the G*d Damn birds that were dive bombing me and my kid to get these huge bugs that kept eating us alive" on and on and on!!!!!!!!!!!!
the last part was amusing cuz inside my head I thought, HA even the FOREST didnt want him in it!!!!!!!!!!.... :*******: Im just so pissed off so now all my little plans of things I had planned out the window!!!!!! I had heard from an old friend, we were going to get together, I had talked to him about this situation on the phone, but I am sure the reason he didnt show last night becuase he saw the VAN here!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I guess I am just pissed off, I was told by fatboy that I would get the place to myself for 3 days, and I looked forward to it.
The only GOOD thing was after he finally shut up, he did talk civil for a bit to me, and he was telling me about how his job is worried about him, thru tears, boo hoo, and I had to say to him , that everyone was! He says he dont remember calling me the names he did, HA! I dont buy it, and ( oh this is soooooooo great!!) Ive been suspecting him taking my medications, and I find in the driveway, before he gets home, a matchbook with the remains of a capsule that matches EXACTLY to one of my medications, that was where HIS van was parked before he left! So in this conversation, I show this to him, of course he denies it, says the "wind" must of blown it there! MAN!!!!
Now if this wasnt the biggest bunch of I dont know what is!So, I put my pissed off energy to work and pulled the cover off the pull, cleaned it, made a little foutain out of a water sprinkler, to calm my nerves and spirit, did some medidtation and at 2 am finally went to bed!
oh I forgot to mention ........ right before the black cloud od the troll blew back in? who call me? MY DAD! now I am an ACOA, here HE is braggin on and on and on and on how LUCKY hes been over the last month, how HE charted a plane to laughlin, won this amount of money this amount that amount, here I am trying to live off of 580 bucks a month..... so I let all the just float out my head! then he crossed the line over a picture of my daughter when he says," is your daughter getting fat?".... oooooooooooooo!!! I was like no dad, my daughter is beautiful! hes like well she looked like she was a lil chubby in her last picture.( hes always asking me if I am still fat..*******!) then it came to me... I say to him...." No dad, my daughter is very beautiful, and I would love her no matter what, even if she got as big as a HOUSE, I wouldnt care, because I LOVE her UNCONDITIONALLY, and talk to her every day online" for the first time, hes all ummm ahhh welll aaaa ummm I didnt mean to sayy.....HAHAHAHA! YAY ME! and to be honest? I wouldnt take a dime from that man, I wouldnt! Not that HE would never even offer ever anyways, I dont even get Christmas, Birthday or any cards from him ever, but I ALWAYS send him one. Funny things we go thru huh?
Ok............Breathe Eveie.... Yinnnnnnnnnnn...................Yanggggggg
oh yes I did this several times last night, thank you for meditation and Reiki!!!
thanks for letting me vent, Im STILL PRAYING for more word on the apt at that place!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE!!! Thanks for letting me vent!! Peace to you all, and most of all to my heart today!!!
LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Javatown
Posts: 92
Ask yourself....
Hello! Over the last weekend, the same slogan in different readings kept jumping out to me: 'How Important Is It?'.
When I start feeling crazy and the rush of drama surrounds me, I am trying to remember that slogan before I respond or react in any form. It often helps me to sort out what needs my attention and what does not.
Keep posting, keep us all updated!
~Red
When I start feeling crazy and the rush of drama surrounds me, I am trying to remember that slogan before I respond or react in any form. It often helps me to sort out what needs my attention and what does not.
Keep posting, keep us all updated!
~Red
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
holy moly eveie - you are charged up - settle down and breathe! i just know that the apartment is going to come thru - you were "led" there by your HP i'm sure!
you handled your dad conversation pretty darn good!
prayers to you each day for 14 and counting!
cwohio
you handled your dad conversation pretty darn good!
prayers to you each day for 14 and counting!
cwohio
"Tonight I Wanna Cry"
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 268
"Needing something stronger,
Look to a friends shoulder,
release your pain, and let your heart go,
trust in me,
I'll be there where every you go...
Take those words to heart Eve, you know I'm here always on MSN & *****... Feel free to contact me hun, and If i'm not there right away I will get back to you..
Look to a friends shoulder,
release your pain, and let your heart go,
trust in me,
I'll be there where every you go...
Take those words to heart Eve, you know I'm here always on MSN & *****... Feel free to contact me hun, and If i'm not there right away I will get back to you..
I've Taken My Life Back!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Montana
Posts: 106
Understatement!!!!!!!!!!
ya think???????? HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ty I thought I handled my dad pretty good too, but its like I wanted my peace and quiet so bad, and im TOTALLY PISSED OFF that I didnt get it!!! I PAY RENT, and yeah I AM just IRKED!
that MY plans I made FOR MYSELF, now are just thrown out the window becuase HE DECIDED to come back early, NO THOUGHTS TO MY PLANS... and yes I AM PISSED AS HELL :elephant <<< that reminds me of him... I swear, looks just like him!!!!!!!!!
So, I go to my f2f meeting, and found out there is a meeting tonight here somewhat AA, but an all womens group about ACOA as well, so I am going to check it out, mainly? To just get the hell out of the house.
I am just mad as hell, cuz I wanted the time to myself!! FOR ME, for soaking in a hot bath, with a candle or two, or in the pool BY MYSELF, without his drunkness or spilling booze into it so I have to spend the next week getting the chemicals right again...!!!! ok ok ok sorry, Im going to go chill... and PRAY he leas, but I DOUBT IT! hes in his cave downthere......AGAIN!
Sorry, but its hard to not be pissed, wouldnt any of you be? 2 more weeks come on 2 more weeks, PLEASE COME THRU !!!!!
ty for the understanding, and prayers, and the ability to let me just let gooooo!
Ty I thought I handled my dad pretty good too, but its like I wanted my peace and quiet so bad, and im TOTALLY PISSED OFF that I didnt get it!!! I PAY RENT, and yeah I AM just IRKED!
that MY plans I made FOR MYSELF, now are just thrown out the window becuase HE DECIDED to come back early, NO THOUGHTS TO MY PLANS... and yes I AM PISSED AS HELL :elephant <<< that reminds me of him... I swear, looks just like him!!!!!!!!! So, I go to my f2f meeting, and found out there is a meeting tonight here somewhat AA, but an all womens group about ACOA as well, so I am going to check it out, mainly? To just get the hell out of the house.
I am just mad as hell, cuz I wanted the time to myself!! FOR ME, for soaking in a hot bath, with a candle or two, or in the pool BY MYSELF, without his drunkness or spilling booze into it so I have to spend the next week getting the chemicals right again...!!!! ok ok ok sorry, Im going to go chill... and PRAY he leas, but I DOUBT IT! hes in his cave downthere......AGAIN!
Sorry, but its hard to not be pissed, wouldnt any of you be? 2 more weeks come on 2 more weeks, PLEASE COME THRU !!!!!
ty for the understanding, and prayers, and the ability to let me just let gooooo!
I've Taken My Life Back!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Montana
Posts: 106
thanks red, Im just really frustrated, and irked right now, and hard to focus non anything when you live with someone that is just a ball of NEGATIVITY, and I am trying SO HARD to be positive and concentrate on me and focus on me, and I guess I am mad cuz the plans I set forth for myself for these 3 days at home to "spoil" myself are now ruined, and he didn't even seem to think of that! but thanks hun... and How important is it? it was VERY IMPORTANT to me to have that time to myself to reflect and meditate, thats why Im more pissed than anything that it feels like he just did it on purpose, who knows! hugs!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Heart of Dixie
Posts: 168
The friend you called couldn't you go to his house and visit him. Plan something fun together even if its is only a movie that is coming on tv and cooking a meal together. My grandmother taught me to appreciate the simple things in life my bf says I am his low maintance woman instead of taking me to the mall he can take me to a thrift store or a garage sale and I am happy. I went to the Dollar Tree after church one sunday and got kites for the kids and helped them fly them. One day we took old bread crumbs to the park and some balls and packed snacks took the kids to the park to play and feed the ducks. There are alot of things you can do for enjoyment that cost little to nothing to do . This of course is just food for thought. Ideas to get you out of the house and keep him from driving you crazy. I have enjoyed playing cards with friends and lots of things. Even though he ruined your plans for 3 days try and make some new ones . I know money is tight with you it is with me also I am raising 2 kids on $250 a month. Its not easy but God has been very good to me . I am supposed to register for school this Thursday and I don't know if the money will be there this symester or not but if I don't make it back this time I will be back in January for sure. I can only do the best I can and trust God to help me take care of the rest. Hang in there it will get better. Just think in a couple of weeks you could be out of there and in your very own place and I know you will I too believe God sent you there for a reason. Take care .
Rose
Rose
I've Taken My Life Back!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Montana
Posts: 106
see that was the thing, that was the plan! He was going to pick me up, I had bread all ready to go to the park to feed the ducks, and then back here towatch some movies and have a swim and cook dinner, BUT..... he knew that if that VAN is here my roommate is here, so he probably kept on going, He knows I dont get my calls, either! so ya, Im just really annoyed, and I hear where your coming from! thanks! Hugs!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
