TerpGal

So as many of you know, I am planning to seperate from RAH for at least 3 months so I can get my head together. We met with our pastor on Friday and he even agreed it would be a good move and just as he needed detox and rehab for the alcohol, I need a detox from him too and a month will not cut it.

So my plan was to move into my unoccupied childhood home. Except it's under renovation and the floors are not yet done as expected because my dad wasn't happy with Tue job the flooring people did. The plan now is to move in with them and supervise the work at the other house, finish up painting in some of the closets and refinishing a headboard. Fml.

My dad is an active alcoholic and is fully in and invested to the victim "look how horrible my life is" role. I don't think I want to LIVE with him for any length of time. That would defeat thepurpose. I don't want to commit to a 1 year lease anywhere either because I don't know where I will be in a year. And plus when discussing RAHs abuse of me, he had the balls to say "well maybe the guy was lit". AS THATS A F#$@?ING EXCUSE! OMG why can't I just have a nice, supportive family. I NEED this time from RAH but having to live with my father is just OMG no.

ubntubnt

hi, can you afford to sign up for a 4 or 5 months lease somewhere and offer to pay a little over the market value to compensate for the shorter lease?

NWGRITS

Normal is just a setting on the dryer.

Really, I feel you. I would rather get a root canal, scoop elephant poop, or go vacation on Antarctica than live with my AM again. I never had the supportive, seemingly Rockwell family, either. Even just to give a little bit of validation of *some* part of my life would have been great.

happybeingme

Terp, I would sooner live in my car than spend a single night under the same roof of either of my parents. Just not happening. I wouldn't share the details of my marital problems with either of them either. I just never had that kind of relationship with them and never will. I am sorry you are going through this but it is probably best if you find a short term lease somewhere.

Thumper

Oh gosh. I'm sorry

I'd rather sign a lease or rent a month to month room than swap out one unbearable living situation for another.

Refiner

Yes there's got to be a short-term rental you could find. Even a weekly rate hotel until the floors are done. That or you're just trading one sh!tstorm for another.

Mountainmanbob

although your case is an extream one
very few are fortunate enough to have a normal family
we need to accept and move on with life
granted -- it is not easy at times

many times

MB

Mountainmanbob

although your case is an extreme one
very few are fortunate enough to have a normal family
we need to accept and move on with life
granted -- it is not easy at times

many times

MB

TerpGal

Well if for whatever reason I do have to stay there any length of time........I work nights. I would rarely see him and days off I would be working on the other place........so that would make is slightly more tolerable. Unfortunately I live in the MOST EXPENSIVE housing market in the US aside from NYC and parts of California. I've been looking at rooms for rent. Most places want good credit and mine is fubar from the debt and subsequent bankruptcy RAH got us in.

redatlanta

Terpgal how long until the home is ready?

lizatola

My mom has her basement apartment ready for a renter but I think it's out of area from you. She is just outside of Leesburg, VA. Yes, your area is super expensive and that's why I moved out to AZ 20 years ago....couldn't afford a starter home way back when.

I also understand not wanting to live with another alcoholic, there's no way I would ever have wanted to live with my dad when he was living. He was worse than my husband! Hugs to you and good luck in your new endeavor, wherever that may lead you even if there are bumps in the road along the way!

Florence

Terp, check out airbnb.com for longer term, one-room rentals.

hopeful4

So, when is the flooring scheduled for? It really sounds like the house is in the home run of being finished??

Hugs, deep breaths my friend.

lillamy

Can't they just finish one damn room so that you can stay there???

I'm sorry, I've lived in houses while they were being renovated, and quite honestly, this sounds like a ruse from your parents. Unless they really are redoing ALL the floors in ALL the rooms at the same time... AND the plumbing and electricity...

amy55

I was thinking that also. I bought a foreclosure. I lived with a mattress on the floor, and patio furniture. No tv, no stove. Had to have my entire sub floor taken up and replaced. No bathroom for about 2 weeks, just a toilet in the basement. It was actually fun, kinda like camping out.

Hugs
amy

NYCDoglvr

You can decide now to create a healthy -- better word than normal -- family with all the actions you're taking. Congratulations on having the strengths to do what's necessary to have a good life.

TerpGal

I think in a sense, it is a ruse. All the bedroom floors were done. The two where it was just hardwood came out real nice. The other two that have been wall to wall carpet since the 80s came out with stains. How bad the stains are, I don't know. I COULD just move furniture into*my old room and just deal with it till it's done (although getting in and out will be tricky when the rest of the hallway and living room are done......that would make SENSE. But with my dad, it's nonsensical. There is tons of crap from Tue rooms that "people need to come get their stuff". None of us live there anymore. When we moved out, we took what we wanted/needed. And he'll if it's *my* stuff......damn I haven't lived in that house in 12 years. THROW IT AWAY! But he cannot just throw things away. Letting go is not an easy concept for anyone in our family lol.

I would be perfectly happy to live in my old room and supervise the work and paint the closets and refinish my old headboard (although, living in that room again is sorta creepy. My uncle died in that room not this past thanksgiving but the thanksgiving before). If it comes down to it, I have found a few rooms to rent on craigslist that look promising.....but then again you never know who's a serial killer lol

NWGRITS

I left the metro area after college because I couldn't afford to stay there. (((Hugs)))