Wife Binge Drinking (newlywed)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 773
Welcome to SR
Whatever you do, don't bring a baby into this situation. IMO - if anyone is hanging out in bars after graduating from college or past that age - red flag.
Talking to a bunch of guys - red flag. Many alcoholics are flirty social butterflies and big into impression management - they must have admirers around them to fill that hole inside them.
The script she is using "I can never talk to guys" is typical. This behavior is unacceptable for anyone in a committed relationship - she is just gaslighting you.
Walking into a neighbors house is not a norm - I can imagine how embarrassed you are. "You are no fun" is also typical. XAH used all of that and more.
You may want to set a boundary of what you will or will not put up with. Think ahead - what can you live with for 5, 10, 15 years. Alcoholics are very keen on making their loved ones get used to all kinds of crazy behavior and then turn it around on us.
Hang in there - and don't let her take over the narrative in your head. Al-anon and this forum are very helpful, and the best thing about it that you can do it no matter what she does.
I used to think I was too controlling - now since we are divorced and there is a distance between us - I see how I was too lax with my boundaries. And how little I have done in terms of self-care.
Good luck and stick around
Whatever you do, don't bring a baby into this situation. IMO - if anyone is hanging out in bars after graduating from college or past that age - red flag.
Talking to a bunch of guys - red flag. Many alcoholics are flirty social butterflies and big into impression management - they must have admirers around them to fill that hole inside them.
The script she is using "I can never talk to guys" is typical. This behavior is unacceptable for anyone in a committed relationship - she is just gaslighting you.
Walking into a neighbors house is not a norm - I can imagine how embarrassed you are. "You are no fun" is also typical. XAH used all of that and more.
You may want to set a boundary of what you will or will not put up with. Think ahead - what can you live with for 5, 10, 15 years. Alcoholics are very keen on making their loved ones get used to all kinds of crazy behavior and then turn it around on us.
Hang in there - and don't let her take over the narrative in your head. Al-anon and this forum are very helpful, and the best thing about it that you can do it no matter what she does.
I used to think I was too controlling - now since we are divorced and there is a distance between us - I see how I was too lax with my boundaries. And how little I have done in terms of self-care.
Good luck and stick around
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