Timetoheal12

I have never been that close to my father. However, when I was 18 I started noticing some aspects of his personality (that I wasn’t sure if were normal for an adult or not).
He sometimes was even more sensitive than me, or than my mom. He had some reactions that could be compared to what a tantrum of a child is. All those things, along with the fact that he isolates himself from us, were weird to me, but I couldn’t comprehend them when I was little. I just saw him as someone unknown to me. A person who is there, but whom I don't really know that much about.
I have been really naïve, too. But I guess that when my mom told me that he was an alcoholic, a lot of things made sense, even about myself. I think I have never seen him drunk… But my mom says he drinks everyday/regularly.
I grew up thinking that she was the strong one, but I never knew why he wasn’t strong for himself. That was my “main” vision of them.

After my ex broke up with me the last time, she told me I needed a strong man, and that my ex wasn’t strong at all…

I guess, I thought that I needed to be the strong one from what I observed in my own family?

I just realized that I want to be strong... But that I want to be with a man who is strong too.
I dunno. But as I’ve said before: This breakup will lead me to a new adventure of self discovery (I hope)... Thanks everyone for your support.

Missus

Not in the least - unless you were expecting him to hear you and understand :-) You got a taste of why he rang, and that's a good thing in the long run

Timetoheal12

Part of me wanted him to understand.
But since all I've been reading in here I know it is almost impossible.
The other part of me wanted to say something because he always knew I was more of a silent person who always agreed to his terms when solving problems.... I wanted to say exactly what was on my mind because of it.

NWGRITS

We tend to choose people who are like our parents. So for many of us here, we go for the emotionally dry or absent types. And most of us don't even recognize it until we hit bottom and start trying to help ourselves. You certainly aren't the first to discover later on that one of your parents is/was an A. I hope this party of your journey helps you heal from everything else, too. It's good that you are getting to root causes. The more work you do on that, the stronger you'll get in holding your ground with your XABF. (((Hugs)))