Magichappens

When I came to Al-Anon, my life was a jumbled mess. I couldn't focus on anything, because it seemed like so much was wrong. It was very overwhelming.The slogan "First things first" helped me find a beginning for recovery. I decided that the first thing I would concentrate on was getting a sponsor. It was a task that I could focus on. I read as much Al-Anon literature as I could find on sponsorship. There was a pamplet at the meeting I attended. There was a section on it in "How Al-Anon Works". Once I felt that I knew what a sponsor was for, I focussed on picking one. I listened to people in meetings. I talked to people to find out how they used the program in their life. Then I asked someone who had the results that I wanted in my life. Once I had a sponsor, I began with focussing on step 1.
By using First things first, I was able to start moving forward. It released me from the paralysis that held me down. I became more patient with myself. This process has slowly begun to heal me and help me to grow. Without first thing first I would probably still be that helpless victim that I was when I came to Al-Anon.

Hugs, Magic

Gabe

First things first shifts my focus to the natural order of things. Codie that I am, I often want to move through things without taking all the necessary steps to get to my destination. First things first reminds me that I have to move at life's speed, not Gabe's speed.

cwohio

magic - good information. i do not have a sponsor yet (i don't think). one of the leaders gave me her number after the first meeting so i'm not sure if she was offering to be a sponsor or not and i have not called her and she wasn't at the last 2 meetings. i think i will follow your lead. you have so much information to share - glad you are a big part of this board!

hugs cw

Teggie

Acck I don't have a sponser yet either. I think I need a few more meetings till I can decide on one. It's an important decision. I know I need to do it soon, I just want to make the right decision about it. First things first..... thanks Magic! You always make me think...Hugs! Teggie

Magichappens

This was just my example of what I felt was first things first. It's important to get a sponsor, but people do it when they are ready. The important thing is to find what you can do now to help you. It may be making a commitment to a home group, or to reading a daily meditation each day. It may be learning to detach with love. It may be catching up one bill that may be behind. First things first teaches me to take baby steps to reach my goals, instead of letting things overwhelm me. It shows me how to reach a goal, any goal. Hugs, Magic

Lorelai

It is so overwhelming to try to tackle what seems to be a huge problem or decision when all you concentrate on is the problem or decision.

That is one great thing about the Alanon program. You can concentrate on one small aspect at a time. As long as I'm making progress on my own personal journey, the big problems and decisions will take care of themselves.
L

matters

One thing that is very overwhelming to me is papers. I know that I should go through the junk mail daily and sort out what is important but it just gets stacked up and out of control. My filing cabinet is for papers...good and bad. I just throw them in and shut the door. My whole house seems to get out of control. I have been working six days a week to get caught up on bills and I am usually too tired out on my day off to do what I should.BABY STEPS....I will tackle those papers in BABY STEPS!!!!! The laundry gets done and other chores but those darn papers. I procrastinate way too much with that chore. I will work on being better.

Thanks for the post Magic....you really help so much!!!

Marcinor

Since I was little I learned from my Mother how to be a martyr. I watched her go, go, go... she's still going, taking care of everyone. But somewhere along the line I think even she actually figured out that there was a good reason to take care of herself.

Now, while I seem to second guess everything I do lately because I want to make better decisions and get out of these old patterns which are not doing me any good. First things first has made me get out and run when I should run, say no, when I really don't want to, and helped me get rid of a little of the guilt that I just love to obsess over.

What matters said.... BABY STEPS!

bjmt

It is overwhelming to try and tackle what seems like a huge problem or decision. My life is a jumbled mess. I couldn't focus on anything, because there seem to be more wrong then right here. Decided enough is enough..phoned the UK Al Anon. Got the information on meetings in my area. Time to find this place and go. Next Tuesday night. Do they usual hold meetings in churches? Lady on the phone said meeting was from 8:00PM to 10:30PM. I do need to find a sponour. Know what people say when they attend their first meeting...scare!!

Magichappens

bjmt,
A lot of meetings are held in Churches. They don't charge a lot of rent, and they have central locations. Don't worry about getting a sponsor. Just go and see what they have to offer. Get some literature. I love reading Al-Anon books. That is where I began to see that people like me had found solutions that I could adopt. Going to meetings is sort of like here. First I looked around, tested the waters, found out it was safe, then got involved. Anything new is uncomfortable. It takes time to adjust. You will do great. Hugs, Magic

Sad_Hazeleyes

I just want to get the courage to step foot in one of those meetings, either ACOA or Al-anon. I keep saying on Tuesday I will MAKE myself go, but when it comes around I let it 'slip' my mind. I need to get over this fear and just go. I still wish I could take a friend to hold my hand when I go to one of these meetings. Boy does that sound pathetic, doesn't it?

Sad_Hazeleyes

Magichappens

Sad Hazeleyes,
It doesn't sound pathetic. Change is hard. Reaching out is hard. I felt like I was pathetic. I was ashamed that anyone know how I was. But I finally got desperate enough to try something new. Try to think of us going with you. That might help. Sometimes I take you guys with me when I am nervous and unsure about a situation. It has helped me get through some fearful times. Hugs, Magic