AW1111

I made the decision to post this because I have probably called everyone in my contact list and no one is answering. I have been living in SR the last few weeks and I really appreciate knowing I have support whenever I need it.

I haven't stopped crying tonight. I feel like I am an emotional wreck and I am trying everything I know how to do to pull it together. My AH is in an inpatient and is on his 19th day. He is making remarkable progress on himself and I am very happy for him. I have been really working hard on myself and attend weekly Alanon meetings and personal therapy. Nights are the hardest for me...tonight I miss him terribly.

There has been a lot of added stress for me since last fri when my good friends had their child at only 27 weeks, and my brother in law was in a terrible accident after he fell off of a balcony from drinking (they are all still in hospitals). Our two year old daughter has been asking me where Daddy is multiple times a day and it breaks my heart. I feel very alone right now. I see my H every Sunday, and we have both noticed the progress we are making as individuals. We will start marriage counseling on Sunday's now while he continues his inpatient so I think that will help too.

My AH is my best friend and even though his drinking started to get really bad leading up to him checking himself into rehab, I knew I could always Lean on him for support when I am struggling (he was not an every day drinker). Now that all this added stress is going on, and he is gone, I feel very alone. Days are easier because I have a lot of distractions with activities, work, and the baby. It's when the baby is asleep and I go upstairs and lay next to an empty spot in our bed that it hits me.

I wouldn't trade him discovering and working on himself for anything in the world. I am just so sad tonight.

Helenlee

Hang in there ... breath ... & read. And keep reading till you find the words you need. There were nights when I read just about every section they have on this board because I needed so badly not to be alone. That's the wonderful thing about this place - the wisdom, experience & comfort is here 24/7/365, whether a single other soul is online or not.
You can do this. One baby step at a time, you can walk right through to the other side, just by keeping on doing the next right thing. Tonight - take care of yourself, breath, & read. And then sleep. I wish for peace for you.

isitme

I'm so sorry you're having a rough night. I wish you some peace and comfort.. and restful sleep. (((Big hugs)))

theuncertainty

I'm sorry you're feeling low tonight. ((((hugs))))

honeypig

And you are discovering and working on you in Alanon and here at SR, too--don't forget about that! The A is not the only one who matters...

I'm sorry you're feeling bad, and I agree, nights are the worst. But the sun will come up tomorrow and it will be a new day. Even though at this point you're not splitting w/your A, the ideas in this thread might be helpful for you:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...d-factors.html

((((Hugs)))), and I hope this morning finds you feeling stronger and better.