maia1234

Meg, You have to remember, the only time they will pick them selves up and get help is when they hit rock bottom. "Us" helping them, suggesting whats best for them, they will never hit rock bottom. They have to deal with their own actions/consequences, themselves. The best thing you can do for an A is NOTHING!! You can listen and let them do what they feel is best for them. What we think should never matter, even if its killing us inside. (I've learned and saved my STBXAH so many times). That's why we are divorcing. I never let him figure it out on his own, always saved him. Now its to late and I can't stand it anymore. If I had let him fall, I wouldn't still be in less mess after 34 years.

Next time, listen and respect his decisions on what he needs/wants to do with his life. Tell him that you respect his opinion. See what happens... just my thought.

Recovering2

Meggem...one suggestion when choosing a counselor. Try to find someone with a background in addiction. I found that to be a key part of my recovery. My counselor was very knowledgeable about addiction, so he "got" where I was coming from in dealing with the A in my life.