Thoughts that go through your mind
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 399
Just a thought, ever since I got the police to tell him to leave me alone, I officially feel safe and free to really move on... I mean like to really move on for the first time in 2 years. I feel like he is no longer a drunk now that this has happened between us.. Or maybe Im telling myself that because I feel happy and at peace because there's no drama? I feel so good right now I could let him back in my life because I feel like he would been fine now. but I won't). It's so bazaar..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
When I divorced my ex, I had a fantastic attorney. He did way more than just handle the legal end of things; he also made sure I stayed NC through the whole process. Because -- he said -- human beings have such a remarkable stamina and healing power that as soon as we are out of danger, our brains tend to block out how bad it really was.
He said he had seen it over and over again -- even women who had been beaten within an inch of their lives somehow forgot how bad it was and dropped their divorce cases and reunited with the abuser... only for the circus to start again...
When I felt like "maybe I exaggerated how bad it was" or "what if I just imagined that he's a drunk, I mean, everyone drinks..." -- I would go back and read my posts here, read e-mails I had written to friends, read my ex's e-mails to me where he called me every name in the book and accused me of being responsible for everything from his gout to the economic downturn... and that helped.
I forget who here said it -- maybe m1k3? -- but don't believe everything you think.
(((hugs)))
He said he had seen it over and over again -- even women who had been beaten within an inch of their lives somehow forgot how bad it was and dropped their divorce cases and reunited with the abuser... only for the circus to start again...
When I felt like "maybe I exaggerated how bad it was" or "what if I just imagined that he's a drunk, I mean, everyone drinks..." -- I would go back and read my posts here, read e-mails I had written to friends, read my ex's e-mails to me where he called me every name in the book and accused me of being responsible for everything from his gout to the economic downturn... and that helped.
I forget who here said it -- maybe m1k3? -- but don't believe everything you think.
(((hugs)))
Baby Steps
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,689
I'm at that stage where I think his drinking wasn't that bad and it was because I couldn't manage my anxiety and memories of how it was in the early days when it was really bad that is creating the problems and maybe I pushed him away!!
Good for you though killer instinct I can't wait to feel at peace.
A counsellor said to me once that often because we think/ feel it therefore it must be true however feelings and thoughts are just that they are not fact!
Good for you though killer instinct I can't wait to feel at peace.
A counsellor said to me once that often because we think/ feel it therefore it must be true however feelings and thoughts are just that they are not fact!
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