Proud today. I stood up for myself for the first time in years
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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Proud today. I stood up for myself for the first time in years
Oh this is such a journey of self-discovery, and yesterday this happened. Six months working on me in my rented place, no contact with RAH except via lawyers and slow progress. So five weeks ago my close friends, a married couple, had a fight, he had to move out, so with her agreement, I offered him my spare room on condition that I would not relay stuff said to me by one to the other. My attempt at supporting them from a neutral place. Well, they have waged a constant bitching at one another through texts, FB posts and telephone, and my peaceful home has become a place where other people's craziness now rules! I get it from both sides, and instead of improving, it gets worse. Much of the stuff happens after I am in bed when he has had too much to drink. On Monday night I saw that look on his face that reminded me of RAH when he was about to lose control, and I realised I could not do this any more. So I told him last night he needed to find another place to stay, and he has a few days to move. I tried, it didn't work, I have to step back from others' crazy and get back on track. I wouldn't have been able to say 'no' back in the crazy days, but proud I could recognise it and deal with it with no drama. Move on ........ another lesson about boundaries learned.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 94
OK, so maybe I shouted victory too soon. My message did not come across as clearly as I intended. He is going away for the weekend to give me a break, but I must have softened the message too much and he hasn't got the 'go'. Another lesson learned in meaning what you say, and saying what you mean. Best behaviour now though lol. The crazy has stopped, space to breathe again in the evening tonight and do my own thing again. I have still taken a baby step, so won't be afraid of having a clearer conversation again if I need to. So much to learn about being assertive! 
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