Katchie

I haven't posted in a while though I come in frequently to read. Things around my home are the most normal they've been in years. I am so thankful for that and pray for my husbands sobriety daily. I'm really proud of him. It can't be easy when it seems like some job gets more difficult and busier while working to stay sober -- but that is life, isn't it.

Around Christmas my H was heavy in his addiction and I had made the decision he would no longer coach my children's high school basketball team. Not only had I made that decision, but my boys didn't want any part of him coaching either.

Fast forward to this week...My H has decided work has become so busy he can't afford to spend 3 hours a day 5 days a week as a volunteer coach and still maintain his job. He is having to build 2 new medical centers with the first one going up by this upcoming Christmas. He has already started the process. He has stepped down as head coach of the organization my sister started and she is MAD as heck. She continued to ask me why we were doing this "to" her. Another reason to be proud of my husband. This wasn't an easy decision for him. He is the ultimate people pleaser not wanting to rock the boat and hurt someones feelings even at his own expense. It takes a lot of moxie for him to do something like this, something that others wouldn't have a problem doing.
I feel sorry for him because he's really taking an emotional beating over it, but again, I'm proud that he has abstained in the midst of this while still being very open about his feelings. Big steps in my book.

Now, I'm terribly saddened my sister, who has been privy to ALL that has happened over the last many years in my marriage, is taking this hateful road knowing good and well the decision was a difficult and multifaceted one that in the end will be the best for our family. She should be so happy that we are doing better and making decisions to continue bettering our family. But, she won't talk to me.

Mango blast

Katchie,

Huge kudos to your husband. Steps like those are to be applauded!!

We never can make others happy. They get to choose whether they're going to be happy, and if they're not able to that's for them to figure out why. Emotions are internal and personal. It is not my responsibility for how others are feeling. I'm a people pleaser. I'm starting to realize that even if I have a bad day, that doesn't mean I'm CAUSING someone else to. I should be allowed to have my own feelings without being responsible for other peoples ups and downs. It's okay for my emotions to naturally come and go as they are.

Learning that taking offense is a choice was a new awareness for me. That we actually need to reach out and TAKE offense. Thinking of it as a physical act, we can choose to keep our arms down at our sides and refuse to reach out and take offense at something. It's her choice to take offense over this. You have the choice to also take offense of her actions or let them go.

Celebrate his recovery and yours. One day at a time. It's good to get the update on him. What have you been doing for yourself?

Katchie

Keeping,

thank you for that. You're absolutely right. I'll pass that on to my H. He just called me, and bless his heart, he told me he broke down and cried at the last practice this evening in front of another parent. My sister is on a sad vengeful roll.

I have been continuing my reading/journaling. Trying to learn about mindfulness as well as how to visualize in order to calm down from my own stresses and to overcome negative images I've allowed others to instill in my mind about myself. Keeping up with my biblical studies as well and enjoying having all 4 of my sons home for another summer.