hopeful4

Mimi....the folks here at SR are wonderful, and pretty straight shooters. Sometimes it is much easier for a person outside of your individual situation to see what is really going on.
The best prediction for future behavior is past behavior. Actions speak, words do not.

XXX

Mimi9013

Thank you! I never saw that list! Yay! Now I dont have to drive as far!!!

Mimi9013

Thank you hopeful! I got a lot of good advice last time I posted as well! That's why I came back. I just have been feeling so conflicted on what I should be doing!

hopeful4

I understand. The journaling for me was different on different days. Some days it was simply, he drank, I can confirm at 4:45 pm he is drunk. Sometimes I attached photos of beer cans in the car. Sometimes I would write out entire big things. The journal did two things. Provided documentation and also gave me an outlet to get those things out of my mind and onto paper. I have texts he was ugly to me in or he admitted things in that I printed off. I tried to communicate via text a lot b/c those were proof of things I could print.

Have you spoken with an attorney? The laws vary state to state. It's no commitment to just speak to someone and know what direction to take, and most attorneys provide an initial for free. I got lots of good info at those months before I even did anything. It helped me to know what I should be doing in case I needed to file for sole custody.

Just know we are here for you, we are pulling for you.

Big Hugs!

Mimi9013

I haven't spoken with an attorney yet, but I know one my sister has spoken to about custody and such. The court house also has one day a week where lawyers will go there and you can have a consult for free.

I will start recording things and journaling. Not much to report in it right now, since he is t really drinking very much, but I think it will help my stress level just writing things down about when he doesn't help me and stuff. But I'm almost positive things will not stay as good as they are. After reading my initial post, I realize this period of rest in probably just the calm before the ever recurring storm He can't just permanently cut back after at least 12 years of drinking heavily...and he's only 26 years old

At least I will be ready this time.

wantabe

This was me. The codie that I was felt responsible for my AW's temperament. I did the proverbial "walk on eggshells".

As I learned here though, they are responsible for their own attitude and me feeling like I really had any control over their behavior/attitude was really a way that I was controlled.

Mimi9013

I used to always walk on eggshells, which is probably the only reason I'm still here. I never said anything about his drinking until I got pregnant. I just let it go on and let him get drunk, pass out, and be a nonproductive member of society everytime he punches the time clock at work. I rarely say anything now. I just go about me business as if he isn't even there if he is drunk.